Nov 6 2009 Holy Smoking Cans: 5,000 Volt Can Crusher
Bob David went and built himself a 5,000 volt can crusher just because he could. That's what I love about people: they do things for no reason. Also, some of them smell good. But don't let 'em catch you sniffing! If you care how Bob built the thing you can watch the first two minutes, but you look ADD-y, so skip to 2:15 for the action. Cool, huh? Now, let's snort some Adderall.
Sep 24 2009 Geometric Cans Look Cool, Prevent Rolling
Conceptualized by Dzmitry Samal, these new Coca-Cola cans would be manufactured using impact extrusion and not roll off the counter should one fall over. But I've got news for you: if you knock a Coke can over you've got bigger problems than whether it's rolling. Namely, you're losing valuable mixer. You see, I'm an alcoholic. I kid, I kid -- I don't use mixers.
Dec 31 2008 I Like Cold Beverages: The Cooper Chiller
The $60 Cooper Cooler Rapid Beverage Chiller chills a beer down to 43 °F in sixty seconds. So, at the moderate drinking rate of one beer per 45 seconds, you only have 15 seconds of down time until the next beer is ready. Not too shabby. You just fill the P.O.S. with ice and water, and presto: it rotates your can, all the while hosing the aluminum bastard down with cold water. Of course, if you're looking for something a little more powerful -- something that can cool a beer instantly -- I've got two words for you: witch titties.
One Minute Drink Chiller Works Better Than A Fire Extinguisher [ohgizmo]
Dec 19 2008 Stocking Stuffer: Companion Cube Keychains
Want to carry a little companion cube with you wherever you go? No problem, thanks to Etsy seller donsolo's $22 companion cube keychains.
Made with geeky love from .100" thick reclaimed aluminum. It measures 1.25" x 1.25" (about 3cm x 3cm). The surface has a brushed finish that will wear over time. It's attached to a clip style key holder with a flexible metal cord. End to end it's almost 4".
Perfect for the Portal lover on your gift list, the little cubes make a great stocking stuffer. And you know what else does? Those sexy legs of yours. Ooo la la!
Thanks to Michael, who may or may not have a financial interest in the sale of these keychains.
Nov 3 2008 $110,000 Solid Aluminum Speakers
Got $110,000 burning a hole in your golden pants pocket? How about sharing the wealth with your favorite blogger? Damnit, no, not The Superficial Writer. That guy's a dick. No, not Iwatchstuff either. I was talking about yours truly, folks. Way to kick a guy in the freaking head while he's bent over to tie his shoe. Now I don't even want your money. Just kidding, I totally do. All of it. Stick 'em up! Jewelry too. Anyway the KEF Muon speakers are each milled from a solid piece of aluminum and take a week to make. And allegedly they sell for $110,000. Which is $1,000 times ninety-something. For speakers. But if you're seriously interested, call me, I'm an authorized dealer -- of kicking your rich ass!
Product Page
Thanks to Momboelitist, who wouldn't pay a dime over $69,950 for those mothers.
May 21 2008 Why Didn't I Think Of That?: Resealable Can
Sometimes an invention comes along that is so simple, awesome, and bound to change the world of canned drinking so drastically that you just have to stop and ponder, "Why didn't I think of that?" Well this isn't one of those, but it is can related. Introducing the Resealable Can by Ukranian inventor Johan De Broyer!
You pop the top as usual with this design, and then when you want to re-seal it, you turn the pop top tab and it completely closes up the can again, good as new. The inventor says his invention can create a completely gas-tight and liquid-tight seal. An added incentive toward this idea's adoption is a space on the resealed top for advertising.
Now I know what you're thinking, "I'm a big boy, I can drink a whole can of beer/soda, so why would I ever need to reseal one?" Two words: Because you just peed in it.
Mar 26 2008 Canoflauge Can Covers Hide Your Beer
Canoflauge can covers are made out of vinyl and printed to look like soda cans. You just wrap one around a cold beer, and presto, time to drink in public. I think they could have done a little better with the names, but whatever, you'll have your hand around it anyways. The (reusable) set of four costs $5.89. Mine arrived this morning, so I'll take a stroll around town and let you know how they work.
UPDATE: I was out of beer so I just stuck two of them on a bottle of Jagermeister. It wasn't very convincing, a cop on a Segway arrested me. Someone please post bail. No rush though, I think my cell-mate is a personal trainer and we're going to do some exercising. Great guy, said he's really gonna give my ass a workout.
Canoflauge: This Isn't Beer Officer, It's a Refreshing Can of Skunkpiss [gizmodo]
Thanks to Bianca, who has one of my favorite names, for the tip
Dec 28 2007 Vivid Audio G1 Giya Speakers Are Confused
Vivid Audio's new G1 Giya speakers were recently unveiled, and as you can see, they look ridiculous. They stand 5 1/2 feet tall, weigh 154 pounds each, and are capable of handling frequencies between 23Hz and 44kHz with 800-watts of power. They also come with automotive paint finishes and cost $54,000. Proving beyond a doubt the damn speakers think they're cars. They're both painted and priced like them, so it's no wonder the poor bastards are so confused. And as much as I would love to own them, I don't exactly live in a magic lamp and grant wishes. Okay fine, I do grant wishes. But only ones that have to do with me and hot chicks getting it on. And even those aren’t so much wishes as they are wet dreams I have.
Vivid Audio's G1 Giya speaker: suitable for a prince... or Prince [engadget]
Nov 28 2007 Cell Phone Explodes in Korea, Killing Owner
A 33-year old construction worker was found dead in Cheongwon, Korea, apparently done in by his cell phone. He was found beside his excavator in a stone quarry by his coworkers, and doctors announced him DOA. "His cell phone was found in his shirt pocket with its battery severely melted and his chest burned and fractured." The company that makes the cell phone stated "We will fully cooperate with the police investigation, but we believe that the battery was very unlikely to explode. Our battery is wrapped in aluminum foil, so when there is an external shock, it should just melt, not explode.'' Of course, aluminum foil! It makes everything safe. Like the time I told my kid sister to jump off the roof with an aluminum foil helmet on. Of course she died, but it's not like her head exploded or anything.
UPDATE: It turns out the man's cell phone didn't kill him, his coworker Kwan accidentally backed over him with his excavator and made up the story to save himself. Didn't work, he's being charged with manslaughter.
Man dies after phone explodes in his pocket [newlaunches]
Nov 19 2007 Recipe Book Must Be Baked To Be Read
Food company Podravka had Croatian creative agency Bruketa & Zinić cook them up a really clever way of presenting their annual report. Nested inside the boring financials, etc. is another little book of Podravka recipes.
To be able to cook like Podravka you need to be a precise cook. That is why the small Podravka booklet is printed in invisible, thermo-reactive ink. To be able to reveal Podravka’s secrets you need to cover the small booklet in aluminium foil and bake it at 100 degrees Celsius (212 Fahrenheit) for 25 minutes.
Neato! It's gotta be baked in order to be read! Kind of like the time I got baked and tried to read, but way different. I was on the same sentence for over a half hour. By the time I realized it was hopeless I had eaten two boxes of Pop Tarts and the last of my roommate’s spray cheese.
"Well Done" Annual Report [notcot]
Thanks to master chef Shannon for the tip
Oct 29 2007 ISIS Puzzle Ball: Not As Tough As My Balls
The ISIS is a tricky puzzle ball that is apparently hard as hell to solve. Each one is unique, with only one solution. If you solve it you can win prizes like cash, a massage chair, and other crap.
The puzzle is a gleaming orb, handcrafted in England of a premier alloy of aluminum and constructed of precisely engineered, moveable bands. Each band is etched with hieroglyphics; the challenge is to position those bands in the right combination to unlock the ISIS. You are given 10 encrypted clues to decipher.
Let the fun begin! Then when you're pissed after a half hour pull out the trusty sledgehammer and solve that bitch real quick. Oh wait it says on the site if you damage it you're out. Who has time for a puzzle that lasts years anyways? Especially one that costs $200? There's only one puzzle I've been trying to solve for over a year, and that's how to get laid. You know, without paying.
Sharper Image [thanks to JE once again for the tip]
Sep 17 2007 World's Most Expensive Chair Is Shiny
This piece of crap chair, which is set to fetch between $1.6 and $2.4 million at auction next month, isn't worth it. It was made in 1986 by designer Marc Newson, and nicknamed the Lockheed Lounge. It's kind of like a clawfoot bathtub, an airplane, and a moster jelly bean had some kind of seriously f'ed up threesome and this was the resulting lovechild. Oh, and it doesn't look comfortable. If you have the money for this thing, email me, and I'll sell you a cooler chair made out of all my vital organs for the same price (heart included).
World's Most Expensive Chair Is Shiny [gizmodo]
