Aug 31 2009 Is That A Spaceship?: XBox 720 Concept
This is a conceptual design of an XBox 720 by Tai Chiem. Why he assumes that Microsoft is even gonna call the new console the 720 is beyond me. It's not like there was a 180. Maybe they'll call it a 540. Or, if they're really high, the 420. Anyways, I only posted this because it reminds of the spaceship in 'Flight of the Navigator' and that movie is badass. Who else wants one of those little Puckmaren aliens that the kid stuffs into his backpack at the end? I do. Also, Sarah Jessica Parker when she was 21. And no, that's not creepy of me. "See you later, Navigator!"
Hit the jump for several other renderings from different angles.
Mar 4 2009 Game Over Man, Game Over!: An Aliens PS3
Tattoo artist and casemoder 'givintats' went and made himself an Aliens inspired PS3 case. It was created "using hand-sculpted layers of epoxy putty, that looks like a hard metal when dried, often used to mend dented car fenders." Nice. And is there anything more awesome than an Aliens PS3? Yes, an Aliens PS3 that can play XBox games. Did your head just explode by my suggestion of awesomeness? It's true, I have the power of suggestive thought. Don't believe me? You should take your shirt off right now. Wait -- damnit, hold on. You should put your shirt back on. Now, ladies only -- you should take your shirt off right now. Awh yeah! Hypnotics, baby -- I have them. Now touch your nipple.
Hit the jump for two more shots.
Continue Reading " Game Over Man, Game Over!: An Aliens PS3 "
Jan 17 2009 Stop Confusing Me, Damnit: The TOFU Robot
TOFU is a meat-free robot that looks and acts like a penguin crossed with a Furby crossed with my ex-girlfriend's muff (which I DID see once when I walked in on her in the shower -- score!) Developed at the MIT Media Lab, the little bastard dances to music and has OLED eyes that look eerily sexy. "He's a "squash and stretch" robot, one that uses techniques of social expression employed by 2D animators to give himself some personality." I have no idea what that means but I've killed my fair share of Furbys and, by God, I'll kill a battalion of these little robotic bitches too. But....those eyes....
UPDATE: Humankind, please forgive me, for I have sinned in the most I had-sex-with-a-robot way possible. And, I still have some more reading to do on the subject, but I think I might be pregnant.
Sep 18 2008 The First Glimpse Of An Actual Alien Planet
That's right folks, this is not the light at the end of the tunnel, it's a star and orbiting planet some 500 light years away.
While scientists have found numerous planets by detecting gravitational "wobble" in stars, "this is the first time we have directly seen a planetary mass object in a likely orbit around a star like our Sun," said the lead author of a paper about the discovery, David Lafrenière.
The planet is 3,106 trillion miles away and approximately 8x the size of Jupiter, but 11x further from its sun than Neptune is from ours. Interesting, very interesting. Being a town-renowned astronomer myself, I'll go ahead and spit some info about the planet that those pseudo-scientists that made the discovery failed to mention. Let's see here....round, yellowish-orange, significantly smaller than 1".
BAM! You just got Saganed!
Historic first look at an alien world, 3106 trillion miles away [dvice]
Aug 4 2008 Montauk Monster: Interview, Speculation
Well forks -- can I call you forks? Good, anyway my loyal sporks, the Montauk Monster mystery has been solved. Turns out it was my sister. Haha, Tracey -- that's what you get for mom and dad always loving you more. Fine, so nobody has identified what the hell the beast is yet. But there is another picture, along with three horrible Photoshop fakes (all included after the jump for your FAKE!ing pleasure). Oh, and an interview with the three women that found the thing. They say they've got the corpse decomposing in a box at a friend's place. SICK! And also, start the grill. I'd really believe this was all a hoax if the three chicks seemed mentally capable of tying their shoes. But they're not. I think they're Velcro girls. So, my spoony friends, check out all the media after the jump and draw your own conclusions. But remember -- even bloated, fugly monsters need love. Isn't that right, Tracey? HOLY MOTHER OF....PUT YOUR BAG BACK ON BEFORE I HIT YOU WITH A STICK!
Hit the jump for a new picture, three obvious Photoshoppings, and a painful interview with three life failures.
Continue Reading " Montauk Monster: Interview, Speculation "
Jul 30 2008 Monster Washes Ashore In Montauk
Allegedly this is a picture of some unknown monster that washed ashore in Montauk, on the eastern tip of Long Island. Obviously it's fake, because 1. like a girlfriend that doesn't make me want to blow my eardrums out, monsters don't exist, and 2. whoever made it modeled the damn thing after Tokka from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 (minus the shell). Anybody know what movie this is a viral for? After a little interweb spelunking my guess is a film adaptation of The Montauk Project. Apparently it centers around governmental time-travel experiments, but does feature some sort of alien monster coming to Earth. So, yeah, that's my guess -- which, I might add, is 120% correct. Because if it's not, I'll just edit the post and change it to be right. In case you haven't noticed folks, all your interweb are belong to me.
I'll update the story and let you know what's up when the truth is discovered.
Click through to see the uncensored version. Warning: It's fugly.
