Nov 16 2009 Glowing Booze!: Electroluminescent Bottles

Apparently battery-powered illuminated liquor bottles are becoming all the rage. They're supposed to grab your attention when you're trying to decide what to order at the bar. Yeah, TOO BAD I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT (one of everything -- and keep the cherries coming).

Ballantine's new "Listen to Your Beat" campaign includes an electroluminescent label with graphic equalizer display. Designed by London-based "The Core," this label is more evidence of a trend towards animated, self-illuminating liquor labels. Similar to these battery-powered T-shirts, audio references seem to occur frequently in youth-oriented liquor packaging. (The J&B bottle above is another example.)

You know if you really want to sell liquor you don't need ridiculous gimmicks like light-up bottles. No, what you need is me. I could sell firewater to a teetotaler AND get him to drink it. CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! Aaaaaand you're vomiting on my shoes. Now wipe your mouth, we're doing it again.

Hit the jump for several videos of light-up bottles in action.

Continue Reading " Glowing Booze!: Electroluminescent Bottles "

Nov 10 2009 Genius: Christmas Tree Ornament Flask

Because I'm just as bad as Verizon, here's a Christmas ornament flask. It's pretty genius and I'm committing to covering my tree with nothing but them. No twinkly lights, no angel topper, just a shit-ton of booze. High-five, Santa! You fat bastard.

Cleverly disguised like an ornament, this coated stainless steel flask is here to make the holidays a little brighter (or maybe foggier). Finished with a ribbon-topped twist top and flat bottom (you might need to put it down).

Each flask will set you back $24 from Urban Outfitters, which is kind of steep. So yeah, maybe I won't be decking my halls with them after all. But don't think I still won't hang a bourbon-filled Gatorade bottle from the tree, because I 100% will. And, if I play my cards right, make out with a camel in the nativity. Humpy -- I've seen the way you've been eying me!

Product Site
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Ornament Flask Makes The Season Fuzzy [nerdapproved]

Thanks to Closet Nerd, who better have a little shrine to Geekologie in that closet. Come on, I'll give you lock of my hair!

Nov 9 2009 Orgy: The Awesomest Game Ever Made?

I've never played Orgy (larger ad shot HERE) before but I would given the opportunity and the right group of guys.

Here's the exciting new indoor sport for people who love people. Orgy begins by choosing up sides (delightful custom) and centers around the "Porron" (translation: "to pour it on") filled with your favorite libation. Object of the game is to see which team achieves the longest trajectory for the longest time with the fewest spills. Rewards to winners are optional.

This game used to sell for $10 back in the 70's and was ordered by really skeezy people like your parents. You know they used to go to key parties!

WTF! Orgy : The 1970s Board Game [iambored]

Thanks to Jennifer, who only swings on swingsets and not married couples or so she says.

Nov 4 2009 How To: Open A Wine Bottle Sans Corkscrew

Ever needed to open a bottle of wine but didn't have a corkscrew? Apparently all you need a shoe and something rock hard. LIKE MY ASS ABS ASS. Alternatively, break the top off and chug the whole bottle. I mean, unless you're cool being a sissy boy. Trust me, manliest way to drink wine. AND THERE AREN'T MANY.

MacGyvered Inebriation: Guy Opens Wine Bottle With Shoe [uberreview]

Oct 31 2009 FYI: This Is How Geekologie Gets Written

I was sitting on it the whole time!!

Picture [thechive]

Thanks to Uberscooter, as badass as a scooter can be.

Oct 29 2009 HORF HORF HORF: Halloween Brain Shots

Listen, I love the booze more than anything, but there's no way I'm drinking a curdled shot, I don't care how much it looks like a delicious brain. I've been tricked into it before, and I'm definitely not doing it on purpose. But, if you insist on being grody:

bloody brain shooter

1 1/4 oz. strawberry vodka such as Stoli
1/8 oz. Rose's lime juice
3/4 oz. Bailey's Irish Cream
Splash of grenadine

Preparation:

Chill vodka for better smoothness. Add vodka and lime juice to a shaker, shake and strain into a shot glass. Using a straw, dip some Bailey's Irish Cream into the shot. Once you submerge the straw into the Bailey's put your finger on top of the straw to hold the Bailey's in the straw. Dip the straw tip into the vodka and slowly release your top finger. The Bailey's will curdle a little bit due to the lime juice and you should be able to make strands of Bailey's.

Repeat the straw/Bailey's process to build a "brain" in the shot glass. Add a splash of grenadine to the concoction to add the 'blood' to the mix. Down the hatch as a shot.

Alternatively, have a friend hold a shot of Bailey's in their mouth and then add one of lime juice and swish it around. Cement mixer! Puke! Lose a friend!

brain shots [folkinz]
via
Bloody Brain Shooters [neatorama]

Thanks to Blastphemer, who doesn't even care if he's drinking solid booze he wants it so bad.

Oct 21 2009 WoW Tankard O' Terror To Be Real Product

I'm not allowed to play World of Warcraft anymore because my mom canceled my account but I'm still buying this Tankard O' Terror stein because I want to brain my enemies with it. For those of you not the know, the Tankard O' Terror is a mace weapon dropped by Coren Dinebrew during the 2009 BrewFest event in the game.

Those guilty of emaciating their bodies by whiling away months of life in World of Warcraft are probably going to have a little trouble with the heft of this 4 lb tankard, especially if it is filled to its two-liter capacity (which will add another 4.5lbs to the overall weight).

The tankard will cost $50 and be available in January. Plus, I heard chugging the full stein provides +10 drunkeness. Better equip your Pukey Boots!

Product Site
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Tankard O'Terror Replica Stein, a Manly Vessel For Uber-geeks [uberreview]

Oct 15 2009 Fail: Drunkest Man Ever Tries To Buy Beer

MUST WATCH. Sad and funny at the same time -- my favorite!

This is what may very well be the world's drunkest (plus pills!) man attempting to buy beer from a convenience store. His perseverance is amazing. Don't get me wrong, he still fails miserably, but he's a hero in my book. Because, sometimes, trying is enough.

Drunkest Guy Ever Goes for More Beer [break]

Thanks to Eddie, who's been known to stand outside the convenience store at 7AM waiting for it to open so he can buy beer. Been there, Eddie, been there.

Sep 25 2009 Whee!: Beer Blaster Shoots Beer, Soda

The Beer Blaster is a $23 beer/soda pistol available from ThinkGeek that punctures a shaken can and uses the carbonation to blast your enemies with sticky sodie (or a friend's open's mouth with delicious beer) from up to 10 feet. Also, who would have thought that Harry Potter would turn from a life of magic to a life of contributing to the delinquency of minors on the playground? Didn't see that one coming! Or did I? I totally did.

ThinkGeek Product Site
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Beer Blaster [likecool]

Thanks to Ste, who once shot himself in the face with a keg and was the life of the party. But did you wear a lampshade and piss in the stove?

Sep 21 2009 The World's Most Expensive Booze (Bottle)

The world's most expensive booze is (and I did absolutely no fact checking about this) is a bottle of Chambord valued at $3.24 million. That's too much.

Donald Edge has created with French company Chambord a £2 million bottle of their liqueur to celebrate the new stage version of Breakfast at Tiffany's.

The iconic Chambord Royal orb bottle, hand-wrought from 18 carat yellow gold, will be encrusted with the finest round pearls, over 1,100 exquisitely cut round and pear shaped diamonds, and a square cut emerald diamond.

So, how much if I just want the booze (I've got plenty of empty two-liters!)? Cause, at least according to the Virginia ABC website, they're selling 750ml bottles for $35.50. That means I can get 91,267 bottles for the exact same price! And you know what? That's exactly what I'm gonna do. Glug till I die, bitches!

Chambord Bottle Worth $2 Million [luxuo]

Thanks to Fran, who drinks unicorn blood out of a jewel-encrusted goblet because he doesn't know they're an endangered species.

Sep 16 2009 Booze The Way God Intended: Boob Ice Luge

If God didn't want us drinking from boobs our whole lives, then why did he make them so appealing in adulthood? Also, why don't dinosaurs have nipples? These and many other life changing questions will be answered in my forthcoming tell-all, "The GW: A Life of Blogging". But honestly, when I first saw these $25 Boob Ice Luge molds I didn't even know what I was looking at. And did that stop me from ordering 20? No, my bank account balance did. But I still got 12!

Are you tired of your boring old Ice Luge? Planning a racy bachelor party and need an exciting way to chug your alcohol? Then you need this fabulous Boob Ice Luge! Just fill the breast mold with water, and in two days, you will have two rock hard boobs waiting to be filled with an alcoholic beverage of your choice!

"Rock hard boobs". Wow, that was a turn off. Don't get me wrong, I'd still drink out of them all night, I just wouldn't hang around after the party and try to take them home with me. Yes, yes I would. I don't even care if the nipples melt off!

Hit the jump for the uncensored shot.

Continue Reading " Booze The Way God Intended: Boob Ice Luge "

Aug 26 2009 Genius: Booze Light Helps Prevents Spillage

The ElectraPour LED bottle top was designed to light up the stream of fire-water pouring from a bottle so that when you're home alone drinking in the dark you don't miss your glass (read: man up and drink from the bottle like a normal damn person). Each top will set you back $7.30 or you can pick up one short of a baker's dozen for $81. Alternatively, only drink liquor over 150 proof and always light it on fire. But if you do, remember these important words: stop, drop and pop & lock. Now you're breakdancing on fire!

Hit the jump for a video of the light in action.

Continue Reading " Genius: Booze Light Helps Prevents Spillage "

Aug 23 2009 It Buuuuuurns!: Scientists Invent Mug That Keeps Beverages At Perfect Temperature

Physicists have invented a coffee mug to keep your beverage at the ideal temperature for 30 minutes. What is the ideal temperature? Allegedly 58 degrees Celsius (136.4 degrees Fahrenheit). I beg to differ.

The key for this magic trick is physics and PCM--phase change material--an extraordinary substance used in construction and winter clothing. PCM is capable of storing and releasing heat or cold.

The perfect mug follows the same principle: It is made of hollow ceramics. Inside there's an aluminum structure--as you can see in the image above--which gets filled with PCM. When you pour in your hot coffee, the heat gets absorbed reaching your personal optimum level based on the amount of PCM in the cup's interior. According to Klaus Sedlbauer, head of the Fraunhofer Institute for Building Physics, you can customize this on manufacturing.

You want to know the ideal temperature of my beverage? It's called ICE COLD BEER. But I will drink it hot if I have to. Last summer I drank a case of beer that had been in the trunk of my car for a week. I peed fire, true story.

Physicists Create Perfect Coffee Mug That Keeps Perfect Temperature [gizmodo]

Aug 14 2009 Booze Detector Reveals Purity Of Your Drink

Product designer Emilio Alarcón designed the Rotgutonix booze detector in order to determine if you're imbibing the real deal or just some economy swill poured into a nicer bottle.

Just dip the Rotgutonix pen into a glass of alcohol (no mixers, please), and let it soak for 20 seconds. The pen's liquid-crystal display will tell you if you're about to drink some real whiskey or some nasty rotgut, it'll tell you.

Unfortunately the device can currently only detect the chemical composition of 6 brands of liquor: Johnnie Walker, JB, DYC, Havana Club, Pampero and Brugal....The good news is that makers of the Rotgutonix are working on a future update that should allow it to detect up to 20 different booze profiles.

You know, there's any easy way to get around the need for a Rotgutonix detector. It's called ALWAYS ORDERING THE CHEAPEST BOOZE POSSIBLE. Any funny switch-o change-o business works out in your favor! Well, provided they're not just watering the alcohol down. Which, FYI, is grounds to stab a barkeep with a little plastic sword or umbrella. YES I DRINK FRUITY DRINKS, WHAT?!

Hit the jump for one more shot.

Continue Reading " Booze Detector Reveals Purity Of Your Drink "

Jun 23 2009 Wine Balls: Not Just For Sommelier Orgies

Tired of drinking wine straight from the bottle? That was rhetorical -- it never gets old. But N2Wine decided to make these Wine Globe systems anyways. Cheers, Jesus. Want to teach me how to fish?

Wine globes are glass containers capable of holding 33 or 70 bottles of wine (depending on the size) that are specifically designed to thwart oxidization, the chemical reaction that ages wine, by preventing any air from entering the system. Instead, the globes vino-filled spheres constantly topped off by "food-grade" nitrogen when liquid levels deplete, essentially freezing wine's flavor in time.

The wine is also under constant water-cooled temperature regulation so that it's served perfectly every time and, obviously, the system can offer more wines by the glass than most restaurants currently offer.

Each globe costs about $1,000 but can be run in line off the same nitrogen tank, making them still not worth it. No, I'll be sticking to my boxed wine, thank you very much. Literally, I glued it myself. Ever played Edward Fortyhands? You should try Bernard Boxarm.

Wine Globes Swap Tastings for Keggers [gizmodo]

Jun 16 2009 Well It's About Freaking Time: Beer Pouches

CarboPouches are pouches made to be filled with delicious life-nectar. They were designed by the Beverage Pouch Group (not to be confused with Capri-Sun) for nanobreweries (read: you) that don't want to invest in expensive bottling equipment.

The best part is the "organoleptic film structure" that doesn't change the taste of the beer at all. The slightly flexible pouch gives the beer room to fizz, and it's easy to fill with the cap on the bottom.

I don't care if they find out organoleptic film causes cancer, I am gonna drink the hell out of these beer pouches. BEER ON THE GO BABY. Move over, disposable coffee cup!

Beer in a pouch doesn't add metallic tastes, easy to fill [dvice]

Thanks to Romeo, who drinks his beer the way God intended: all day long.

Jun 12 2009 Skinny Blonde: Australian For Sexy Beer

Skinny Blonde Beer comes from Australia and has a skinny blonde chick on the front of the bottle that, when the temperature gets hot enough, loses her top. And, to give you a demo of this model of modern boobosity, they have the six chicks in the picture above to provide NSFW examples. So, head over to the website (provided you're over 18, or under and don't mind sinning) and give it a go. After watching just the first girl I ordered 30 cases of the stuff. Also, I might have just gotten stuck in a bottle. BWHAHAHAHAH A -- like it's that big!

Skinny Blonde Beer NSFW

Thanks to jlcnuke, who agrees this beer/boob combo is giving explosions and boobs a run for its money.

Jun 12 2009 What Fridays On Geekologie Should Look Like

Look around. Does your desk area match the one in this picture? If not, you're doing it wrong. This is a picture of Geekologie loyalist naas's Friday interweb setup entitled 'fridays on geekologie'. And as you can see, the man really knows how to internet. After all, this is a website best viewed in squinting one-eyed resolution. Vomit optional.

naas' Flickr Stream (with a bunch more booze and a ton of shots from Japan)

Thanks to naas, who urges you all to please, Geekologie responsibly.

May 19 2009 *PEW PEW* GLUG GLUG: The Beer Gun

As a man-child who's no stranger to chugging beers and puking on himself and then losing a shoe and cell phone only to find them both in the kitchen trash the next morning, I love beer. Like, love it, love it. But only bottles, not cans (cut me once, shame on you, cut me twice SHAME ON YOU AGAIN, YOU ARE A TERRIBLE LOVER!). Also, I really like guns because the very heart of George 'Sawed-Off' Washington beats inside my chest. So anyway, this 22 Machine Gun Glass stands 18-inches tall and is by far the coolest thing to drink out of besides boobies. *ahem* Ladies -- I'm a little parched over here. What? I WANT STRONG BONES!

Submachine gun beer bong, a weapon for those who must be forced to guzzle [coonessroundup]

Apr 24 2009 Crossing The Line?: Bacon Flavored Vodka

Ha, what line? Yes, Bakon is bacon flavored vodka. Yes, it's real. Yes, it's only available in Washington, Idaho, Montana and Oregon right now. Yes, I want to try it. Yes, I want to pour it on a stripper. No, I don't want to lick it off.

Hit the jump for recipes and a link to the official site.

Continue Reading " Crossing The Line?: Bacon Flavored Vodka "