Jun 29 2009 Boom Boom: Guy Snaps Supersonic Picture
Ronald Dejarnett is the U.S. Navy sonar technician that snapped this pic of an F-22 going boom boom over the Gulf of Alaska. Quick shootin', Ronald -- I probably would have peed a little and yelled DECEPTICON! But that could be my special forces training talking.
A Picture Is Worth About $138 Million [gizmodo]
Jun 29 2009 Billy Mays Has Left The Infomercial Set
Billy Mays, a man best known for kicking Vince "Shamwow" Shlomi's ass in a no-holds-barred cagefighting match, died over the weekend following a freak head injury heart blockage. He was 50.
Police said Mays told his wife he didn't feel well when he went to bed Saturday night. Earlier in the day, he said he was hit on the head when his airliner had a rough landing at Tampa Bay's airport.
But the airline said no passengers reported any serious injuries, and Mays himself cheerfully recounted the landing for a local TV station.
Wow, that's pretty scary. Life is short folks, fight stains while you still can.
R.I.P. Billy.
Autopsy planned for TV pitchman Billy Mays [yahoo]
Thanks to everyone who sent this in. Stay clean guys, stay OxiClean.
Jun 22 2009 I Do BLAAAHHH!: First Weightless Wedding
Erin Finnegan and Noah Fulmor got married over the weekend while hovering weightlessly in the back of an airplane. Allegedly it's the first weightless wedding, provided if you don't count the time I married alien in outerspace (read: I was probed, hard).
To recreate the weightless experience without going into space, the plane executed parabolic flight maneuvers, climbing sharply and descending several times during the one-hour flight.Inside the 90-foot-long padded "floating zone," the ceremony was accomplished with a lot of bumping and fumbling, as bride and groom, guests and witnesses alike tried to coordinate their movements in a microgravity environment.
Nice. And in the famous words of Billy Idol, "It's a nice day for a weightless wedding, it's a nice day to...horf again, BLAAAH!"
Couple Float Into Zero Gravity Nuptials [aolnews]
Thanks to Pat, who once made out with a stewardess to score free peanuts.
Jun 8 2009 Stealth Dodge Challenger Built By Air Force
Want to join the Air Force? Look at the picture above. How about now? Still no? Well damn, the Air Force is gonna be pissed -- this was supposed to be a powerful recruitment tool.
The Challenger Vapor features radar-absorbing stealth-black paint, not unlike what is used to mask stealth bombers. The Vapor is set to run almost silently, thanks to "stealth exhaust" - whatever that means. Reminds us of when KITT used to go "Silent Mode" on Knight Rider. You need biometric verification to enter the cockpit via gull wing doors. The driver can view night/thermal vision projections on the windshield while sitting in a compartment that looks like something out of Crimson Tide.
Listen, Air Force, I'm not one to tell somebody how to do their job, but if you want new recruits, you're going about it all wrong. Two words: Free jetpacks. You think about it.
UPDATE: Looks like they also made a Mustang with a jet-like cockpit. Added pics after jump.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a short video of the thing.
Continue Reading " Stealth Dodge Challenger Built By Air Force "
Jan 29 2009 Unhappy Virgin Airways Passenger Writes Richard Branson Complaint Letter About Meal
A Virgin Airways passenger, thoroughly upset with the meal and service during a flight, took matters into his own hand, and wrote Sir Richard Branson a personal complaint letter about the experience. An exerpt:
So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what's on offer.
I'll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it's Christmas morning and you're sat their with your final present to open. It's a big one, and you know what it is. It's that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.Only you open the present and it's not in there. It's your hamster Richard. It's your hamster in the box and it's not breathing. That's how I felt
I just read an article this morning that said the customer actually got a job offer by Virgin to be the food critic for potential in-flight meals. It's a fact: complaint letters really do make dreams come true. And also, Disney. I always wanted to puke on a roller coaster!
Hit the jump to read the whole, lengthy letter, including reference pictures. It's basically the same thing I would have done, except with less cussing and threatening "to open a whole bag of airplane peanuts on that ass".
Dec 26 2008 Cell Phone Goes PEW PEW PEW PEW
Remember the cell phone gun that Italian police found in a raid on the mafia? Turns out they're mad popular in Europe. And, I've got to tell ya, I'd almost be fooled if it looked like a Blackberry and not a phone from the 90's -- the 1890's (note to self: fact check 19th century cell phone technology). Some guy ranting about the pieces of shit:
Most see airport security as a pain. Some deal better than others. Some feel violated, when you watch this movie, you'll understand why they want your cell phone through the x-ray machine. If you get asked to test your cell phone at the airport, this is the reason. Because cell phone guns have arrived. These phones are not in the U.S. yet, but they are in use overseas. Beneath the digital phone face is a 22 caliber handgun capable of firing four rounds in rapid succession using the standard telephone keypad. European law enforcement officials are stunned by the discovery of these deadly decoys. They say phone guns are changing the rules of engagement in Europe. Be patient if security asks to look at your cell phone or turn it on to show that it works. They have a good reason! Welcome to our NEW WORLD!!
New world? Would that be a brave new world? And, if so, hook me up with some of that soma! Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Now, who wants to hit up the feelies?
Video Demo of Cellphone Gun Shows How Effective It Could Be [gizmodo]
Dec 23 2008 What To Do In A Plane Crash: Twitter
If you're ever in a plane crash, what's the first thing you should do? Of course -- Twitter about it! That's exactly what Mike Wilson did after Continental flight 1404 veered off the runway at Denver International Airport and caught fire.
"Holy f*cking sh*t I was just in a plane crash," he wrote in a text message shortly after Continental Flight 1404 burst into flames and nearly broke apart, injuring 38 people.
Thirty-two minutes later, Mr Wilson added: "Ugh... My glasses fell off in the mass exodus getting off the plane... Can't see very well."One minute after that, he offered a bit of lightness, perhaps conscious that worried family members might be reading his words: "This was crash No 2 for me. Maybe I should start taking the bus".
Well I can honestly say tweeting is not the first thing I'd think to do in the event of a plane crash. Now copping a feel on a distressed stewardess....that's, uh, I can't believe I just freaking wrote that.
Citizen journalist sets the world a Twitter after Denver plane crash [telegraph]
Thanks to pirhan, who's smart enough to only travel by jetpack.
Dec 8 2008 Build Your Own Paper Airplane Launcher
Want to launch paper airplanes but don't have any arms? Then good luck folding one in the first place. But for those of you that are lazy or just don't know when to let go comes the $18 Electric Paper Plane Launcher from Urban Outfitters.
Ready for take off. Take your paper airplane experience to electrifying new heights with The Electric Paper Plane Launcher! This fun kit was designed at Middlesex University, one of the leading design Universities in the UK. With simple assemble, you can discover how spinning motors and plastic discs can be used to launch a plane at over 30 mph!
Oh boy, I can't wait to discover how spinning motors and plastic disks can be used to launch a plane! You think it's anything like discovering how spinning motors and sharp metal disks can be used to cut your freaking fingers off?
Thanks to krabivana, who launches planes the old fashioned way, with explosives.
Dec 6 2008 Yes Please: An A-10 Warthog Motorcycle
The A-10 Thunderbolt II (aka Warthog) is a plane that never fails to make me swoon. I don't know if it's the styling or the 30mm Gatling gun in it's mouth, but my god does that plane do something to me. And now the guys over at ICON Motorsports have gone and made an A-10 inspired motorcycle. Complete with 800-watt sound system, 8-inch LCD screen and minigun, the bike is clearly ready for combat. And by combat I obviously mean me in my "If you can read this, my bitch fell off" t-shirt.
Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups and a little artsy film ICON made for the bike.
Oct 15 2008 Another Day, Another Flying Car
Another day, another flying car. Although the good people over at Terrafugia aren't actually calling it a flying car. They're calling it a "roadable aircraft" because they're a bunch of asshats. Anyway, it's a flying freaking car.
The vehicle, set to go on sale next year, will cruise smoothly on the road and through the sky. It will have four wheels, Formula One-style suspension, and a pair of 10-foot-wide wings that fold up when it switches from air to asphalt.
The Transition will run on gas, have a flight range of 460 miles, and is expected to sell at right around $194,000. Tests are still being completed, and the first Transition will take to the skies in November, with customers that put deposits down seeing their vehicles in late 2009. And, for those of us that didn't put deposits down, we can expect to hear about the first crash around the same time.
Oct 2 2008 Bad Idea: X-Ray Messages For Your Luggage
Evan Roth designed these custom etched metal plates to show up on X-ray machines when your luggage is scanned at the airport. And let me tell you, airport security loooooves a good joke. Like the time I drank a half liter of bourbon waiting for my flight out of Vegas and fell asleep under a chair and missed my flight by four hours. Oh man, they loved that one.
Metal Plate X-Ray Messages - Because Airport Security Officers Have A Great Sense Of Humor [ohgizmo]
Thanks to Heather, who loves being drunk in the airport as much as I do.
Sep 19 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Cardboard Cat Playhouses
These fold-it-yourself cat playhouses from suckUK are made from grade-A cardboard and there is no way in hell my cats could fit through that little hole in the top without utterly destroying the thing. But if you have small cats, each one costs about $27, making them some of the most expensive pieces of soon-to-be shredded cardboard I've ever seen. Seriously, if you love your cats and want to get them the nicest playthings, do what I did and get them all Power Wheels. Oh, hold on. "Jimmy, what did I tell you about running over the dog's tail? Haha, yeah, you want to be going full speed. Good kitty."
Product Page
Thanks to Phil, whose pets dine exclusively on Dom Pérignon. Drunk pets are the best pets!
Aug 13 2008 Coming In For A Landing!: The Mile High Bed
Thanks everybody for all the birthday wishes yesterday. That was awesome, and I love you all. But today's another day, and...wait a minute -- it's International Left Handers Day! Another day of celebration for me! Shake left-handed, eat and drink left-handed, or give yourself a stranger, WHEE!
Anyway, the Mile High Bed was made my MotoArt, the same company that made the engine cowling reception desk and ejector seat office chair. Constructed from two DC-9 rear stabilizers and a C-130 inner flap, the bed promises to comfortably accommodate yourself and two additional passenger (preferably sexy stewardesses). Unfortunately, price is only available via company contact, which means a freaking fortune. Pfft, who needs a Mile High Bed anyways? Not I. Now a 200 MPH Bed -- that's where it's at. Ladies, to the race car bed! But please note: Be quiet coming in, my parents are asleep, and also, I'm entitled to make all the VROOM VROOM noises I want during the race. VROO....oh, checkered flag. Champagne me, I'm ready for a nap.
Jun 12 2008 Black Box Casemod Is Actually Bright Red
Some guy scored an old black box (flight data recorder) off eBay and, after removing the asbestos and fiberglass it was stuffed with, threw a Linux server up in that mother. I love the look, but an indestructible casemod just isn't for me. I need an acid-bath casemod that destroys itself should I not log onto my computer for 24 hours. Because otherwise:
The Geekologie Writer wasn't the brightest star in the sky, nor was he handsome by anyone's standards, but he did love his job. And, as was discovered posthumously, cartoon porn. Superficial Writer, please return to your seat. The Geekologist specifically requested no one pee in his casket.
Hit the jump for a few more shots of the mod.
Continue Reading " Black Box Casemod Is Actually Bright Red "
Jun 11 2008 Romanian Fighter Jet Gets Hit By UFOs, Aliens Arrested For Flying Under The Influence
On October 31st, 2007 a Romanian Mig 21 Lancer was struck by not one but four UFOs and the government has now released footage of said incident. As can be unclearly seen in the untranslated video at 0:49 and 1:16, the aliens were flying what appear to be the black smoke from Lost when they hit the plane. Afterwards, the pilot was able to land the aircraft without incident.
Lt. Col. Nicolae Grigorie said a video recorded by cameras onboard the plane depicts "two solid bodies, which are not translucid." Grigorie said authorities are working to determine what the objects could have been. "They couldn't be birds because there are no birds in Europe able to fly so high. And they couldn't be ice bodies because it was a clear sky -- neither could they be pieces of another plane or a meteor," he said.He said the government has ruled out rocket launches and ground artillery fires as causes of the incident.
When asked what he thought the objects were, Grigorie exclaimed, "F***ing aliens, yo! Tape your buttcheeks together before bed, the wonk eyed bastards are coming!"
UFOs hit Romanian plane [upi]
Thanks Mikal, I'm now officially adding aliens to my apocalyptic fears
Jun 6 2008 Derrie-Air: Pack Less. Weigh Less. Pay Less.
Derrie-Air is an airline that believes the less you and your baggage weighs, the less you should pays. It's fake and part of an ad campaign run by a Philadelphia newspaper to f*** with fat people.
Philadelphia Media Holdings spokesman Jay Devine said the goal is to "demonstrate the power of our brands in generating awareness and generating traffic for our advertisers, and put a smile on people's faces."
A disclaimer labels the ad campaign "fictitious" and says it is designed "to test the results of advertising in our print and online products and to stimulate discussion on a timely environmental topic of interest to all citizens.""In other words," it says, "smile, we're pulling your leg."
Oh I'm smiling alright, but only because that's not my leg you're pulling, Jay. You have such soft hands. Hey, I didn't say stop.
Derrie-Air
via
Paper runs ads about fake airline Derrie-Air [msnbc]
Thanks to Dan and Matt, one of which better sneak me into their luggage on their next vacation -- or else.
Jun 6 2008 Video Of The B-2 Bomber Crash Released
Remember the B-2 Bomber that crashed in February? Well the government has finally released footage of the $1.2 billion disaster after verifying there were no aliens, terrorists, zombies, polygamists, or rogue robots involved. It's pretty sad to watch, especially since the camera operator has the motor skills of a newborn. The first half of the video is another B-2 taking off, so skip through halfway to see the second one that actually crashes. It's not super-crazy or anything, but the crew ejector-seating out was neat to watch. The rest is just sad. Like the family video of me crashing my bike as a kid. You can hear my dad laughing and telling the neighbor he loosened a bunch of bolts.
Another video after the jump, but it cuts out right before the crash.
Apr 11 2008 Crashed B2 Stealth Bomber Looks Sad
Remember the story about the Stealth Bomber that crashed in February? Well here's the aftermath. I know, it's almost too sad to bear. What was once a wicked $1.2 billion technological marvel is now a burnt-out shell of its former self. *sniffle* I hope we can all learn a valuable lesson from this. Namely that my girlfriend should forgive me for crashing her car into her cousin's wedding party. Let's just say the dramatic entrance I had planned for the event went horribly, horribly wrong.
Another picture of a much happier B2 after the jump.
Mar 11 2008 Surprise!: Aircar Can Both Fly And Drive
Here at Geekologie we've seen flying cars in the past, and here comes another. The Milner Aircar can be both flown and driven. The $450,000 vehicle is capable of going up to 200 mph at 25,000 ft and 85 mph at 0 ft. This is great and I definitely need one. That way on long trips when my wife starts asking "Are we there yet?" and screaming at me for going the wrong way I can just push her ejector seat button. "Later honey!" *click* - PSSSSSHHHOOOOOOOOW!! Then I'll do a barrel roll and take aim at her with my laser cannons. *peow, peow*
Several more pictures (of a car prototype) after the jump.
Continue Reading " Surprise!: Aircar Can Both Fly And Drive "
Feb 6 2008 Jet Engine Cowling Reception Desk Is Sleek
This desk, brought to us by the same company that made last week's Ejector Seat Office Chair, is made from a real Boeing 747 Jumbo Jet Engine Cowling. The desk measures 100" in diameter and is sanded and polished to a beautiful shine. Not only that, but the secretary in the picture looks pretty hot. She certainly brings new meaning to the phrase "man I'd love to do that chick in the middle of a Boeing 747 Jumbo Jet engine cowling that has been turned into a desk" doesn't she? Yes, she does.
