Jan 29 2009 Unhappy Virgin Airways Passenger Writes Richard Branson Complaint Letter About Meal
A Virgin Airways passenger, thoroughly upset with the meal and service during a flight, took matters into his own hand, and wrote Sir Richard Branson a personal complaint letter about the experience. An exerpt:
So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what's on offer.
I'll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it's Christmas morning and you're sat their with your final present to open. It's a big one, and you know what it is. It's that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.Only you open the present and it's not in there. It's your hamster Richard. It's your hamster in the box and it's not breathing. That's how I felt
I just read an article this morning that said the customer actually got a job offer by Virgin to be the food critic for potential in-flight meals. It's a fact: complaint letters really do make dreams come true. And also, Disney. I always wanted to puke on a roller coaster!
Hit the jump to read the whole, lengthy letter, including reference pictures. It's basically the same thing I would have done, except with less cussing and threatening "to open a whole bag of airplane peanuts on that ass".
Jan 2 2009 I Believe I Can Fly: Plane Mail Postcards
The Postcard Aeroplane is a $7 balsa wood postcard from suckUK that you can send to a friend or former lover. Then, when they receive it, they can punch out the plane parts and fly your message to the moooooooon. One time my grandpa mailed a coconut. To Saturn! Can you tell I've been huffing? I have. I made resolutions! I broke them!
Balsa wood postcard transforms into flying model glider [dvice]
Oct 6 2008 Passengers Worried X-Ray Security Shots Will Wind Up On Facebook And Myspace
Passengers are worried that pictures from a new x-ray security camera, the "virtual strip search", will end up online and display their privates for the whole social networking world to see.
Readers feel the new security measure has gone too far.
"Sure as heck, some customs officers will make snide remarks about young girls with breast implants and people with piercings in private locations. You betcha some will appear on Facebook or MySpace," said a post on news.com.au
However, authorities insist there's nothing to worry about.
"Faces are blurred and images are not saved and cannot be transferred," said Office of Transport Security executive director Paul Retter.
Oh yeah, because I'm dying to see some fuzzy monochromatic images of a chick's privates on Facebook. Wait....I think I am. Sweet!
Passengers fear airport "virtual strip search" [news.com.au]
Oct 2 2008 Bad Idea: X-Ray Messages For Your Luggage
Evan Roth designed these custom etched metal plates to show up on X-ray machines when your luggage is scanned at the airport. And let me tell you, airport security loooooves a good joke. Like the time I drank a half liter of bourbon waiting for my flight out of Vegas and fell asleep under a chair and missed my flight by four hours. Oh man, they loved that one.
Metal Plate X-Ray Messages - Because Airport Security Officers Have A Great Sense Of Humor [ohgizmo]
Thanks to Heather, who loves being drunk in the airport as much as I do.
Aug 13 2008 Coming In For A Landing!: The Mile High Bed
Thanks everybody for all the birthday wishes yesterday. That was awesome, and I love you all. But today's another day, and...wait a minute -- it's International Left Handers Day! Another day of celebration for me! Shake left-handed, eat and drink left-handed, or give yourself a stranger, WHEE!
Anyway, the Mile High Bed was made my MotoArt, the same company that made the engine cowling reception desk and ejector seat office chair. Constructed from two DC-9 rear stabilizers and a C-130 inner flap, the bed promises to comfortably accommodate yourself and two additional passenger (preferably sexy stewardesses). Unfortunately, price is only available via company contact, which means a freaking fortune. Pfft, who needs a Mile High Bed anyways? Not I. Now a 200 MPH Bed -- that's where it's at. Ladies, to the race car bed! But please note: Be quiet coming in, my parents are asleep, and also, I'm entitled to make all the VROOM VROOM noises I want during the race. VROO....oh, checkered flag. Champagne me, I'm ready for a nap.
Jun 6 2008 Derrie-Air: Pack Less. Weigh Less. Pay Less.
Derrie-Air is an airline that believes the less you and your baggage weighs, the less you should pays. It's fake and part of an ad campaign run by a Philadelphia newspaper to f*** with fat people.
Philadelphia Media Holdings spokesman Jay Devine said the goal is to "demonstrate the power of our brands in generating awareness and generating traffic for our advertisers, and put a smile on people's faces."
A disclaimer labels the ad campaign "fictitious" and says it is designed "to test the results of advertising in our print and online products and to stimulate discussion on a timely environmental topic of interest to all citizens.""In other words," it says, "smile, we're pulling your leg."
Oh I'm smiling alright, but only because that's not my leg you're pulling, Jay. You have such soft hands. Hey, I didn't say stop.
Derrie-Air
via
Paper runs ads about fake airline Derrie-Air [msnbc]
Thanks to Dan and Matt, one of which better sneak me into their luggage on their next vacation -- or else.
Mar 6 2008 Keyboard Offers Storage Underneath, My Liver Rejoices At A Place To Stash Airplane Bottles
Stashing airplane bottles at work is getting to be a hassle, and quite frankly the whole "up the rear" method is getting old (and probably wearing my O-ring out). Well now all my problems have been solved thanks to the Keyboard Organizer. It's a keyboard with a storage compartment underneath and retails for $50.
Key Benefits
*Low Cost
*Organizes the desk
*Makes use of space
*Quality touch and feel
*Blister Packed
*1 year return to base (BNI) warranty
Okay, when "Blister Packed" (aka clam shelled) is a key benefit of your product it's a sign you need to go ahead and fire the entire marketing department. Who in the hell likes blister packs? Are these people freaking crazy? The damn thing probably wouldn't fit any airplane bottles anyway. Hold on, phone.
Sorry about that, it was my girlfriend. She was all excited about a storage keyboard she just bought because it comes blister packed. I'm going to cut her brake lines when she comes home for lunch.
PS2 Keyboard And Desktop Organizer [nerdapproved]
