Nov 2 2009 iPhone Fan Makes Anti-Droid Commercial

If you watch television you've probably seen the anti-iPhone Droid commercial that Verizon is running (if you haven't, watch it after the jump first). Well this is an anti-Droid commercial in the same style, created by a crazed iPhone fan that doesn't like it when people bad-talk his girlfriend. TOO BAD THE HUSSY DROPS MY CALLS ALL THE TIME. Ooooh, burn!

Hit the jump for the original commercial.

Continue Reading " iPhone Fan Makes Anti-Droid Commercial "

Sep 23 2009 Wow: AT&T Predicted The Future In 1993

This is a montage of AT&T commercials from 1993 that basically predict the future with 100% accuracy. Now I'm not suggesting somebody at AT&T ripped the space-time continuum, BUT THEN WHERE DID THIS FLYING DELOREAN COME FROM?! AT&T, you have some splainin' to do. GIMME THE SPORTS ALMANAC!

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Thanks to K.T., who is going places roads aren't needed.

Sep 4 2009 Questionable Darth Vader McDonald's Ad

This is a European ad for McDonald's in which an upset looking Darth Vader force-floats his food in front of himself while a curly haired guy sucks face with a pale hooker in a back booth. It is all part of McDonald's new 'Come as you are' campaign, which, if I'm not mistaken, is Nirvana inspired. Not unlike the McDonald's/Nirvana mashup I've been working on, 'Big Mac-Shaped Box'. No? 'Smells Like Special Sauce?' Ooh -- ooh! -- 'The Man Who Sold the Burgers'!

No Wonder Darth Vader Has Such a Bad Attitude [gizmodo]

Thanks to The Baroness, far too classy for fast food.

Aug 26 2009 Microsoft's Questionable Photoshop Job

These pictures come from Microsoft's Business Productivity websites. The top picture is from the US version, and the bottom is from Poland's. Apparently Poland isn't as hip to diversity as other parts of the world. Which reminds me, how many Polish people it takes to Photoshop a black man into a white one? Poles using computers -- BWAHAHAHAHA!

US Website
and
Polish Website

Thanks to Curtis, Norman, Lewis, Chrissy Poopy Pants McBacon Lover, draw and jawn, who once Photoshopped themselves into a picture of Dora the Explorer and Bob the Builder so they could pretend they have celebrity friends.

Aug 13 2009 Quality Advertising: Some Guy Catching Laptops With His Butt (I Could Do That)

This is some wack-ass ad by MSI that shows off how good their laptops are at fitting between your butt cheeks in case you ever need to sneak a computer into prison. Impressive, but not THAT impressive. I saw The Superficial Writer and IWatchstuff doing the same thing this morning WITH THEIR DESKTOPS. Printers and everything!

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Thanks to jhidekim, Lindsey and Chris, who can all catch laptops with just the gooch.

Jul 20 2009 Wrong: Creating Advertisements On The Moon

The natural satellite burglars over at Moon Publicity want to create ads on the moon by using robots that can draw in the dust. The whole idea has several problems. 1. robots and 2. ADVERTISING ON THE MOON. Like the aliens don't already hate us enough.

WEST VALLEY CITY, Utah, July 20 /PRNewswire/ -- It's one giant leap for robot-kind. New Shadow Shaping technology creates images on the Moon that can be seen from Earth. Robots are used to create several small ridges in the lunar dust over large areas that capture shadows and shape them to form logos, domains names, memorials or even portraits. Talk about the Man in the Moon! You can even carve your initials in a heart to impress your sweetheart.

As outerspace-y as I am, I just can't approve of etching a bunch of shit in the moon. I mean, it's like a landmark, you know? That would be like giving the Washington Monument a giant pair of balls, which, okay that would be cool.

Idiots Want Robots to Draw Ads On the Moon's Surface [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian, who agrees GEEKOLOGIE.COM is pretty much the only thing cool enough to belong on the moon.

Jun 25 2009 BK Ad: The King Used To Be Respectable

In what might be the smartest piece of advertising in recent history (whee, I just posted your whole freaking ad for free!), Burger King has released a print ad for their new Super Sloppy Seven Incher chock full of sexual innuendo. I don't see it, but allegedly it's there.

BK Goes Crude With 7-Inch Burger Ad [newser]

Thanks to solid and Pat, whose minds can't be blown away because they're in a lockbox.

Jun 21 2009 WoW Mountain Dew Game Fuel Commercial

This is a television advertisement for Mountain Dew Game Fuel: World Of Warcraft. I don't want to spoil it for you, but I'm going to: two chicks turn into World of Warcraft characters and start battling right there at the grocery store checkout. Obviously, I would do them both. AFTER transformation ;)

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Thanks to naas, who once Chaos Bolted an old lady in the face for cutting in line at the checkout.

May 14 2009 Best Financial Investment Commercial Ever

NOTE: VIDEO IS NSFW DEPENDING ON HOW YOUR EMPLOYER FEELS ABOUT VIVID ORIGAMI SEX ACTS.

This is a commercial for Bontrust Finance. It is arguably the best commercial for a financial institution I've ever seen. Not only was it incredibly well made, but it features lewd sex acts. OUT OF NOWHERE. Which, let's be honest, are the best kind. Except on the Metro. I'm looking at you, Mr. '"Whip it Out Whenever You Want". But no eye contact -- I remember what happened last time!

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Thanks to Harry, who once had relations with one of those little paper fortune teller thingies you used to make in grade school.

May 5 2009 Superfailure Personal Ads: Consortium Of Evil Seeks Shadowhare's True Identity

That's right, "E" from the Cincinnati-based Consortium of Evil, put up a Craigslist ad seeking Shadowhare's true identity in order to put a stop to the do-gooder and his ragtag bag of spandex-laden friends. Plus, he's offering a hefty $10 reward. Which, even though I promised Shadowhare I wouldn't betray him, is too good to pass up. So, "E":

Shadowhare is -- are you sure you're ready for this? And I will get a $10 bill and not like 40 quarters, right? Okay, Shadowhare is -- can I get you a glass of water or something? No, I'm not stalling, of course I know who he is. I'm just trying to build suspense. Fine. Shadowhare is....a dork. BOOM -- Hamilton me, bitch!

Craigslist

Thanks to egleaves -- OR SHOULD I CALL YOU "E" FROM THE CONSORTIUM OF EVIL!?! egleaves? Okay.

May 5 2009 Hmm: Star Wars Weekends Advertisments

Star Wars Weekends are Star Wars themed weekends at Disney's Hollywood Studios theme park. Here at Geekologie we've already seen several examples of the perversion that goes on there. Well, these are the posters advertising Star Wars Weekends 2009, which, I think we can all agree, are in surprisingly poor taste. Look -- you see how that woman is clutching her purse? Racist.

Hit the jump for three more, all of which contain shocking discriminatory undertones.

Continue Reading " Hmm: Star Wars Weekends Advertisments "

Apr 29 2009 About Time: Anti-Robot Denny's Commercial

Truthfully, I rarely go to Denny's because I prefer IHOP's Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity combo (two eggs, two bacon strips, two pork sausage links and two buttermilk pancakes crowned with cool strawberry or your choice of fruit compote and whipped topping). But I may make a change after seeing this commercial, which highlights the importance of eating a hearty breakfast in the fight against machines. You can't go fighting those robotic bastards on an empty stomach -- they'll gut you like a fish! The Grand Slamwich from Denny's: it's what John Connor would do.

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Thanks to Scurls, who knows a Carnation Instant Breakfast just won't cut it.

Apr 22 2009 What The?: Questionable Sub Commercial

I love Quiznos. Or, I should say, I loved Quiznos before I found out their ovens encourage employees to have sex with them. I mean, WTF? This isn't how you sell delicious, oven-baked subs, this is how you....damnit, now I want Quiznos.

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Thanks to Jordan and Reiko, who have never gone anywhere near a toaster with their junk exposed. Or so they say.

Apr 21 2009 Jones Is Back With An Even Better Business

Remember Toby Jones of Jones' Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage? Well he's back with another genius business idea, this time in the form of Jones' Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage. As you can see from the video, they even have fried dinosaur. Which, at least in my opinion, is just plain wrong. I'm no black widow!

Jones' Good Ass BBQ And Foot Massage [jonesbigasstruckrentalandstorage]

Thanks to my brother SuperFrank, who almost burnt the house down trying to fry a porkchop sandwich. My God did that smell good.

Apr 9 2009 Two Chicks In A Bar Having A Lightsaber Fight

NOTE: VIDEO IS SLIGHTLY NSFW DUE TO UNDERWEAR.

This is a fake commercial for men's body spray that features two chicks having a lightsaber battle over some tainty dude that smells good. SPOILER: they cut each other's clothes off, making it the best commercial for a fake product EVER. I just ordered like a million cases. Or, I dunno, left my credit card number as a Youtube comment.

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Thanks to Dustin, Dallas and CJ, who once saw two chicks have a lightsaber duel while Jello wresting. I know, I should write erotic fiction.

Apr 6 2009 Mac Vs. PC: Wolverine Vs. Rorschach

This is a little video of Wolverine vs. Rorschach in the style of those Mac vs. PC commercials. You might like it, you might not. But that's neither here nor there, what's important is that my roommate ate all the leftover Chinese food I was saving for an afternoon snack, and now I want to kill him. The only problem is, I know I shouldn't because I already threatened to kill him last night loud enough for all the neighbors to hear. But, if he does turn up missing, you didn't read this. And if you think I can't make your computer explode and burn you to death with just a couple quick keystrokes, you've got another thing coming. And also, a pretty firm grasp of computer technology. Now, put your grandma on.

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Thanks to NUTZBABIE and NinjaMuffin, who once called Wolverine's mom a dirty ore and lived to tell about it.

Mar 23 2009 True Blood Advertisements In New Zealand

HBO posted these True Blood posters in New Zealand (who seems to get much cooler ads than we do) to advertise the upcoming season of the blood-sucking series starting June 2009. As you can see, each ad features several handy-dandy vampire pokers should you find yourself with some pointy-toothed bastard eying your neck on the bus. Ya best protect ya neck! And also, your purse -- vampires are thieves! It's true, that dreamy Edward Cullen stole my heart. You smell that? *sniiiiiiiiiiiiff* Smells like Twilight on DVD!

Hit the jump for several more pictures, this one and the next of which were taken by New Zealand Geekologie operative, Jonathan.

Continue Reading " True Blood Advertisements In New Zealand "

Mar 20 2009 Now Now, Play Nice: Aliens Vs. Predator Ads

This is a set of print ads run by a New Zealand cable channel advertising its upcoming showing of Aliens vs. Predator. As you can see (if Geekologie hasn't burnt out your retinas yet) they feature an Alien vs. Predator playing together civilly. This one is chess, but hit the jump to see pool and swingball. And speaking of swingball -- go ahead, give them a kick. Go on -- I can take it. Wait wait wait, I'm not rea--OH OFFFFOW OWW OWW OWW OOOOOOOWW OWW OW OW OH STOP OH STOP UHHH UUHH UUHH I CAN'T BREATHE STOP UHHH UUHHHH. Oh yeah, that's the stuff.

Hit it for the others.

Continue Reading " Now Now, Play Nice: Aliens Vs. Predator Ads "

Mar 20 2009 Bus Stop Shames You Into Joining The Gym

Fitness First is a gym in the Netherlands that installed this advertisement at a local bus stop. It has a scale attached to the seat so when you sit on it (with legs hanging) it shows your weight. It's supposed to make you think about your health and joining the gym. But all it made me think about was how long it takes to cook a 68kg turkey.

Fat Shaming at the Bus Stop [current]

Thanks to Jonathan, who once hid lead weights in his pumpkin to win the heaviest pumpkin contest at the county fair.

Mar 15 2009 Hands Down: The Worst Advertisement For Israeli Missiles I've Ever Seen

This is by far the most painful advertisement for exploding projectiles I've ever seen. Apparently Israeli missile-maker Rafael thought it would be a good idea to feature a traditional Bollywood song and dance number to drum up some incendiary business in India. They played the video at the recent Aero India 2009 in Bangalore. Was it successful? I sure hope not. And not just because I've been pitching my advertising services to Rafael. Tell me what you think of my latest commercial idea:

Wide shot of a desert quickly zooms in to a tight one of a lone watermelon on a folding table. Another quick zoom to a medium shot of the area surrounding the melon and table. Far off in the distance, a rumbling PEW PEW!. Soon, two missiles are seen cresting a mountain. As they approach, the camera man realizes he's been had and, dropping the camera, begins running. You see him fading off into the distance until *KA-BOOM!* he disappears in a massive explosion. As the smoke clears, you see his smoldering shoes. Then, at the bottom of the screen: "Expect the Unexpected. Rafael Missiles: Now with heat-seeking technology. Rafael -- When only the PEWIEST PEW will do."

Bollywood Missiles Ad Destroys My Ears, Eyes, Faith in Humanity [gizmodo]

Thanks to Martyn, who doesn't have to advertise his missile because the ladies already ask for it by name.