Nov 13 2009 VIDEO Of Bugatti Veyron Crash Into Marsh. Oh, And I Called It -- No Low-Flying Pelican
Apparently some kids happened to videotape the $1.6 million Bugatti Veyron crash from the other day. And, surprise surprise, there was no "low-flying pelican". Nope, just a man playing with himself in one of the world's most expensive production vehicles. Way to go, champ.
Hit the jump for a video of the car getting towed out.
Nov 12 2009 You're Doing It Wrong: Super-Rich Idiot Moron Drives $2 Million Bugatti Veyron Into Marsh
An unnamed member of the Illuminati recently drove his Bugatti Veyron into a Texas marsh because he's stupid and can't drive.
The man, who refused to give his name, was looking at real estate in Galveston.
About 3 p.m. a low-flying pelican distracted him as he traveled north on Interstate 45 just south of the hurricane levee near Omega Bay.The man jerked the wheel, dropped his cell phone, and the car's front tire left the frontage road and entered a muddy patch, which foiled his attempt to maneuver away from the lagoon.
The Veyron's powerful engine gurgled like an outboard motor for about 15 minutes before it died.
Low-flying pelican? Really? That's the BEST you could come up with? No, I propose this man was playing a little tickle the moneybags and freaked when he realized he was gonna make a small cash deposit on the leather seats. Watson -- my pipe, please.
$2 million Bugatti crashes into lagoon [galvestondailynews]
Thanks to Demon Spawn, who may or may not have horns and a tail.
Sep 9 2009 Cowboy Stadium's Big Black Screen Of Fail
This is a picture in the Dallas Cowboys stadium of a giant display that is connected to a computer that (and I'm using my Sherlock Holmes-y powers of deduction here) was improperly shut down. Just a guess. Oh, here comes another!: morbidly obese. I know, I'd make a killing at the fair.
Dallas Cowboys Stadium Continues Streak of Giant Screen Fails [gizmodo]
May 22 2009 Dude -- Compared To Our Galaxy, We're Just Like, Little Ants Man. Little Ants That Are High
This is a time-lapse video of the center of the Milky Way Galaxy rising over Texas from 9:20 PM to 6:43 AM on April 21-22, 2009, during a star party. Now I have no idea what a star party is, but if it's anything like the last bachelor party I went to, I want in. We could even shoot the hooker's body into space like they did Spock's in The Wrath of Khan!
Tuesday Diversion: The Milky Way Time-lapse [chicagoist]
Thanks to Danny, who reminds you all: shoot for the stars. Even if you miss, you might bag an alien.
Aug 13 2008 Is This A Chupacabra? (Hint: Probably Not)
A Texas cop was on a routine fence inspection drive (WTF?) when he found a strange creature running in the road. He claimed it was hairless, had long back legs, short front legs, and a massive snout. So he started filming it with the car's camera. Hit the jump to see the video and hear an interview with the cop. So, what do you think, is it a chupacabra? No, it's not. How do I know? Simple. 1. The chupacabra is a creature of the night, they don't wake up from their daytime siesta until after nightfall. 2. It's nothing like what I imagined it should look like. Chupacabras should be half human, half lizard -- that would be freaking sweet. This thing is the bastard child of a coyote that stuck it to your neighbor's dog. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly 3. Is it sucking a goat's teet? I see no goat, I see no teet, I can't see my dick past my beer bellly anymore, and I see no chupacabra. *slams case closed for emphasis* Suck it, Matlock!
Hit it for the video.
Continue Reading " Is This A Chupacabra? (Hint: Probably Not) "
Jul 28 2008 Kids Dig Up Corpse To Make Skull Bong
Wow, just wow. Kevin Wade and Mathew Richard, two 17-year olds from Houston, Texas, were recently arrested for abusing a corpse. They didn't try to have sex with it, but they did remove the skull to make a bong.
Police were interviewing Jones about the debit card fraud when he told them about the grave theft.Asked why Jones would volunteer the information police sergeant John Chomiak said: 'We can only speculate and guess to what goes on in the criminal mind.'
Come on sergeant, the kids didn't mastermind a bank heist, they dug up a corpse to make a bong. I'm pretty confident there isn't shit going on in their heads.
Teens make human skull bong [metro]
Thanks Gypsy and Paige, now come over and we'll take GB's out of my roommate's fishtank.
May 21 2008 Promo Vid: How Not To Sell Microcontrollers
I found this promotional video for Texas Instruments' new MSP430 Ultra Low Power Microcontroller particularly funny because I used to work for the company. *TI stock plummets* Basically it's two monster geeks showing how you can run the thing on different fruits (just like the potato clock you made when you were six). However, the main reason I posted it is because it has an awesome scene that starts at 1:20.
Blue Guy: Now if you're watching this on Youtube feel free to respond with your own interesting power sources for the MSP430.
Red Guy: I can tell you a martini works wonderfully.
Blue Guy: But you didn't drink that martini right?
Red Guy: Nooo, of course not, that would violate TI policy. *smile disappears, looks down and contemplates killing himself in the middle of a Texas Instruments promo video*
Freaking classic.
Fruit-Powered Chip Promo Vid Shows Why Geeks Don't do PR [gizmodo]
Mar 14 2008 Bob's Frozen Pickles Are Unsuprisingly A Huge Hit, Surprisingly Made By John, Not Bob
John Howard used to be a roller skating ring owner that wore a leisure suit and laughed when kids fell or slammed into the wall. That is, until he started freezing pickle juice and selling it to customers. That's when he realized his dream of becoming the frozen pickle king of Texas. And now he is, with his website PickleSickle.com selling over 20,000 kerosene cucumbers each month. You can pick up a box of 16 for $18, or 32 for $28. Or you can just fish one out of the big jar at a gas station and freeze it yourself. And get me one of those reddish pickled eggs while you're at it. I love those things. If pickles aren't your thing though, I have recently introduced a similar product to market. They're called Turdsickles. They're frozen turds. Buy now before it's too late -- they're really selling like hot cakes cold turds. I suck at product design.
Pickle Pops Are Officially The Worst Thing I've Seen Today [ohgizmo]
