Apr 10 2009 Woman Tries To Break Up Sword Fight, Dies
In the latest of a string of sword attacks, a woman tried to break up her husband and grandson involved in a serious swordfight, and ended up getting stabbed and killed. And that, my friends, is why you always bring a gun to a swordfight.
The fight was reported about 1 a.m. today. Rondeau (39) and Adolf Stegbauer, 69, both of Indianapolis, were "actively involved in a sword fight," IMPD spokesman Sgt. Matt Mount said in a statement. One man used what police described as a World War II Japanese officer's sword and another had a thin blade sword, although investigators were not immediately certain which weapon was used by which man.
Preliminary reports from police said that Franziska Stegbauer, 77, Indianapolis, tried to break up the fight and was fatally stabbed. Police found all three victims inside the residence on Raceway Road when they arrived early this morning.Police said Rondeau was Franziska Stegbauer's grandson.
Well Happy Easter to you too! Thankfully, tipster Chuck Nunchuck was kind enough to create a graphic of what the confrontation obviously looked like, so that was nice. Good lookin', Chuck, but it could have used some more PEW PEW. Love that stuff.
Woman dies after intervening in sword fight [indystar]
Thanks to Chuck Nunchuck, twice as deadly as that sissy-boy Chuck Norris.
Mar 29 2009 Questionable Women's Razor Commercial
This is a questionable commercial for the Shick Quattro For Women TrimStyle with Bikini Trimmer. I'm outraged it was allowed to air because my six-year old just asked me about "those transforming bushes". You know what I told him? Decepticons.
Thanks to "Captain Partytime" Mike, who may wreck the ship, but he'll have one hell of a good time doing it.
Feb 24 2009 Giant Japanese Schoolgirl Over Train
Wow, Japan, you never cease to amaze me.
Image of the Day: Why, Japan, Why? [gizmodo]
Feb 12 2009 Just In Time For Valentine's!: An Ox Is Born With A Heart On Its Head, Named "Heart"
Per the Gospel according to Geekologie:
And before the day of Valentine's, you will be blessed with an ox. And this ox will carry a sign. Of peace and love. And also, deliciousness. Jesus, quick -- water into barbecue sauce!
Hit the jump for another very special Valentine's heart animal.
Jan 20 2009 Cows With Holes Directly To Their Stomachs
And I'm not talking about their mouths either! Or assholes. I'm talking hole holes, like, holy shit(!), that cow has a freaking hole in it!
These cows have been given a fistula, a hole directly into the stomach that scientists can reach into and study to see how certain foods get digested. Through this kind of work, better food can be concocted and studies into stomach cancer and other problems can be conducted. Although it looks inhumane, the cows don't seem to mind.
*HORF* You know, now that I think about it, I think they had a cow like this at Virginia Tech when I was there. Of course, I never saw it because I wasn't allowed anywhere near the animal husbandry department. Funny story -- did you know sheep can file restraining orders?
Hit the jump for some even more disturbing imagery.
Continue Reading " Cows With Holes Directly To Their Stomachs "
Nov 19 2008 Furbies Not Extinct After All, Still Delicious
Pygmy Tarsiers, now to be referred to only by their scientific name Uglyas Shite, were once thought to be extinct. Well think again!
Pygmy tarsiers rank among the rarest of the many tarsier species in Asia and the Pacific -- and in fact some primatologists had written them off as extinct.They have the distinctive, big-eyed look often associated with Furbys, gremlin-like talking toys that were popular in the late 1990s. Compared with the robotic Furbys, however, the real animals' dimensions are seriously downsized: They typically measure less than 4 inches (105 mm) from head to tail, with most of that length being tail. They weigh less than 2 ounces. And unlike Furbys, they hardly ever vocalize.
That thing does not look like a Furby. It looks like an alien with hair. And miniature human hands. ;) Can I get an amen? Anybody? Okay, how about a high five? Geez, what's with you people today? Well how about one of you club me in the back of the head and th
UPDATE: Ugh, my brain feels mushy. How long was I out for? Thanks a lot whoever you were, I should have known somebody would jump at the chance to brain the poor Geekologie Writer. Oh -- and who said anything about teabagging? I taste hair.
Real-life Furbys rediscovered [msnbc]
Thanks to Furbalicious, Chris, Kathryn, and Kevin, who, for the tips, each receive a coupon for a free pygmy tarsier. Try them with BBQ!
Nov 18 2008 Wrong, Just Wrong: Sexy Microphone Video
First of all, these videos are NSFW because they're all of of some chick pleasuring a microphone. Jesus, I feel dirty just posting them. Apparently they're part of some performance piece by artist Wojciech Kosma that has something to do with, um, acoustics, and, uh, bl0wjobs. Actually, I have no idea. But I do know this: I'll never be able to watch an interview the same way again.
Hit the jump for two more equally NSFW videos of the same damn thing. How people can casually sit there and watch is beyond me. Oh, and yes, you are a pervert if you watch these.
Continue Reading " Wrong, Just Wrong: Sexy Microphone Video "
Nov 18 2008 Questionable: Highly Inappropriate Zune Ad
Allegedly this is a spec ad made for the Microsoft Zune. If it's real, I hope Microsoft demanded their money back and told the ad agency responsible they're all a bunch of sick sickos. Because this is just wrong. I don't want to ruin it for you, but it's awful. And sick. And disgusting. And morally reprehensible. Ugh, just vile. And tactless. Okay, so how'd he do that? And will finger paint work?
Thanks "Cool Zune Ad!" Frank, I'd hate to see what you consider an uncool Zune ad.
Nov 12 2008 Mayor of Turkish City 'Batman' Is Suing Christopher Nolan And Warner Brothers
Huseyin Kalkan, the mayor of Batman, Turkey, is suing (director) Christopher Nolan and Warner Brothers for using the name of the city in The Dark Knight without his permission. In other news, Batman may have elected a retarded mayor. And should totally sue this little twerp.
"There is only one Batman in the world," Kalkan said. "The American producers used the name of our city without informing us."Kalkan claims he has evidence, which will show the city of Batman was founded before the 1939 debut of Bob Kane's DC Comics superhero by the same name.
Wow. Just wow. It all makes sense now. I mean, Batman, Turkey is like the crime-fighting capital I've never heard of. Why has this been a non-issue for the past 70 years? Simple -- stupid mayors. Somebody send that city a big bag full of cash, pronto.
Christopher Nolan being sued by Batman [msnbc]
Thanks to Morrocco Mole, Marc, and Adam, governors of The Riddler, Penguin, and Mr. Freeze, respectively.
Oct 24 2008 I've Seen It All Now: Freaky Star Wars Porn
This is some freaky-deaky Star Wars porn by an artist named Miravi. This is the tamest picture I could find, so you can imagine what some of the other stuff is like. Think fully nude hardcore shit that'll burn your corneas out (I can type by touch). So, yeah. There are two more pictures after the jump, and a link to the gallery, which is WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY NSFW. You hear me? You will be fired before you can tell the IT guy "I thought I was being Rick Rolled, I swear!" And on top of being unemployed, you'll be branded perv of the year. But seriously, if anybody actually uses these pictures to, you know, PEW PEW!, make sure to leave a comment so we can all make fun of you. Wait -- actually, don't.
Hit it pervert.
Continue Reading " I've Seen It All Now: Freaky Star Wars Porn "
Oct 2 2008 Aaaaaaah!: Scary Ass Robot Girl
This is a robot girl named Repliee R-1. She's an android built by Osaka University and based on an actual 5-year old girl. And I think I speak for everyone when I say they chose their model pretty freaking poorly.
Liveleak
Thanks to Firuz, Tytus, Jake, and Justin, who all agree the only good robot is -- wait, there are no good robots.
Aug 13 2008 Wait, What?: Inflatable Art Turd Flies Away
I don't even know. Apparently American artist (artist used very lightly) Paul McCarthy created an exhibit entitled "Complex Shit" that consisted of an inflatable dog turd the size of a house. Well, the inflatable pew got loose from and wreaked havoc in Switzerland.
The wind carried it 200 meters (yards) from the Paul Klee Centre in Berne before it fell back to Earth in the grounds of a children's home, said museum director Juri Steiner.The inflatable turd broke the window at the children's home when it blew away on the night of July 31, Steiner said. The art work has a safety system which normally makes it deflate when there is a storm, but this did not work when it blew away.
Wow, those kids are officially f***ed for life. Way to go, Paul (I loved Hey Jude by the way). Now I hate to start an argument about whether or not an inflatable dog turd the size of a house should be considered art or not, but I did take an art history class in college, so I am an authority. And let me tell you -- the girl that sat beside me had a pair of Titians on her that would've given Michelango's David a boner.
NOTE: I made the crappy picture. Photo fake, story real.
Flying piece of art causes museum chaos in Switzerland [yahoonews]
Thanks to Ryan, who once flew around the world in 80 days a turd.
Aug 7 2008 OMGWTFBBQ Casemod, Awesome!
Spotted at QuakeCon 2008, some guy modded his computer to fit inside a barbecue grill. It (as if you couldn't tell) is the awesome. I especially like how the cooling fans glow to simulate fire. Nice touch. Now I dare someone to slap their meat on it.
One more picture of the setup after the jump.
Aug 5 2008 Um, Yeah: A Questionable New Energy Drink
Well folks, it happened. Somebody went and named their energy drink after a slang term for a woman's nether region. Or a cat. The one that starts with p and ends with ussy. Yep. This is almost as bad as the German Poontang Juice.
(Our product) is unique. It is made with a blend of fresh white grape juice from Southern Italy, pressed Mexican limes and lightly carbonated water. These are then mixed with Grenadilla and Lychee flavours, infused with six selected botanical herbs.
The name Pussy shocks and demands attention - that's the point. Inhibition is a recipe for mediocrity.
Oh really? Well it looks like you may have settled for a little mediocrity yourself there, Pussy. Because I just concocted my own drink, and Assf*** is gonna take the energy supplement market by storm. From behind.
Hit the jump if you really want to see the can without the censor bar, and a link to the product page.
Continue Reading " Um, Yeah: A Questionable New Energy Drink "
Jun 6 2008 OMGWTFNOBBQ?: Cannibal Banquets
A "Cannibal Banquet" is gross and involves eating a sort of fake human.
Here's how the Cannibal Banquet works... a pinata-like "body" is carefully crafted, then stuffed with edible goodies in a red sauce. More "sauce" is somehow embedded into the outside covering - "skin" as it were - of the body so that it will appear to bleed when cut into.
What.The.F***? And I thought the Bread Head Bakery was an assault on good taste. This cannibal banquet is a fullblown wack attack. I'd still try it though. Save the neck for me, Clark. Ooh, and a breast.
Hit the jump for worthwhile before and after shots (don't worry, the beaver is pixelated in traditional Japanese porn fashion).
May 29 2008 Man Admits To Having Sexual Relations With Over 1,000 Vehicles. This Just In: I Vow To Never Rent A Car Again
Edward Smith has sex with cars and doesn't care if you think he's a demented perv (which he totally is).
The 57-year-old Washington state native first had sex with a car at age 15, and says he has never been sexually attracted to people, female or male. And he feels no need to change. His current flame is a Volkswagen Beetle that's he's named Vanilla, and considering a typical woman's reaction to Smith's spreading himself around, she's very low maintenance (not counting trips to the mechanic or pricey imported auto parts).
Smith says his fetish took root when he was a teenager. "When I was 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it." He continued, "There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until nighttime, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them."
Wow, it doesn't get much worse than that.
Despite his passion for his four-wheeled friends, Smith has occasionally strayed. His most intense sexual experience ever, he says, was with a helicopter. It totally chopped his nob off.
Holy shit, it did get much worse!
Read the whole article for more ridiculousness.
Man who's had sex with 1000 cars gives new meaning to auto-erotic [nydailynews]
Thanks Jaden, I'll never look at my Neon the same again
May 27 2008 Unacceptable: This Freaking Keyboard
Wow, and I thought my roommate's Cheeto and pube keyboard was bad. He's got nothing on this guy. It looks like he's trying to burn his house down. Hrrm, let's dive deeper into the mind of the psychopath behind this epic grossness by analyzing the picture.
Evidence: He likes smoking. A lot. And Lucky Strikes too. He often forgets about his burning cigarettes and/or passes out at the desk.
Analysis: Heroin addict.
Evidence: Package of Pepcid Duo.
Analysis: Suffers from heartburn.
Evidence: Two uneaten baked potatoes, still wrapped in aluminum foil.
Analysis: Likes sour cream.
Evidence: Bottle of Gordon's gin just out of frame on the far right.
Analysis: Wait a minute -- that's my keyboard! Damn I have womanly hands.
Yummy! [geekarmy]
Thanks Shawn, you can have one of the potatoes if you want
May 14 2008 Folding Grill Has A High Level Of Portability
The Notebook Portable Flat-Folding BBQ is a $40 grill that, even when collapsed, still has more sensuous curves than my girlfriend.
Picture the scene. It's the height of summer, or what passes for summer. You're off to the park with your chums. You've just had a big night out and you've got the serious 'munchies', as we believe it's called. You now have a choice. Run off down to the Co-op for a few tubes of Pringles... or run off down to the Co-op for a few chicken drumsticks, sausages, veggie skewers and massive fat burgers.
Oh yeah, I'm totally with you. Serious 'munchies', that's just what I've got. Oh God, I hate Pringles, those things suck, what I'm after is a delicious piece of man meat.
Fully collapsing to just a few inches thick, it's ultra-light and ultra-portable yet robust and sturdy wherever you choose to put it. Just plonk it down, light it up and you're a twisted firestarter, as my nephew likes to put it.
Umm, yeah. So should I call the police on this guy's pyro nephew or can one of you do it? In all seriousness though, I like the grill and will definitely buy one. Just as soon as they learn how to make folding bags of charcoal.
Product Page [gadgetshop]
Thanks Mulva, come over this weekend and I'll cook you up a dog. My wife's -- the damn thing keeps crapping on the carpet.
Apr 22 2008 It's Official And It's Not Good: The Robot Apocalypse Is Upon Us, Nice Knowing You
Well folks, it's been nice knowing you, but we're officially as good as dead. The robot apocalypse is upon us and our new overlords will not stop until every last one of us has been dragged in and chopped to bite sized pieces by these monstrosities. Currently "owned" by the Tokyo fire department, these "Robokiyu" (sound it out -- it means robot that kills you) bots were designed to "rescue" people from any situation. As you can see, rescuing is as simple as being grabbed by the neck with their throat-piercing arms and dragged into their digestive system (read: rotating blades of death). I, for one, am not going to sit back and wait for the robots to destroy me. I'm fighting back. Namely by creating a race of cyborgs that fight on the side of humans. I'm pleased to announce I've already sowed my wild oats with no less than two Roombas, an iPod, an RC tank, and my roommate's DVD player. Speaking of which, I think the DVD player is finally giving birth. At last, the first of my cyborg offspring!
UPDATE: False alarm. It was just an Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem DVD stuck in the player.
A couple more pictures of the last thing you'll ever see before dying, after the jump.
Feb 11 2008 OMGWTFBBQ Chicken Holder Is Iffy
The Col-Pop is the brainchild of BBQ Chicken USA (a Korean BBQ franchise). They have over 3,500 stores worldwide, but they're just making their way to the states (they have a handful of stores in NY, NJ, and NC), so you may have to wait a bit until you get to experience the awesomeness that is the Col-Pop. Basically it's a cup insert that perches your chicken nuggets safely and conveniently above your beverage. As you can see from the schematic there, it's pretty simple. Almost as simple as the version I created, which is liquefied chicken soda. Not only is it convenient, you don't have to worry about anybody trying to steal your nuggets. You know, because they're liquid and taste like shit.
