Jan 14 2009 Highly Questionable Guitar: The Wangcaster
Want to jam out on the guitar and look like you're stroking a giant member at the same time? Yeah, me neither. Unless you said yes first, in which case, DO I!
Wangcaster
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Time to dumb down the guitar [splicetoday]
Thanks to Andrew, who had a Gibson Flying Vagina but set it on fire at a concert.
Jan 12 2009 Oh My God A New Sex Toy Thingy For Guys
The Real Touch may look like a torture device (and may, in fact, BE a torture device), but is allegedly the latest advancement in solitary male pleasure. Just look at that thing -- reminds me of the time my penis got run over by a Sherman tank. I'm sure it's safe though. After all, it was designed and "thoroughly tested" by a NASA engineer.
It's a computer-controlled "stimulation" device that uses specially encoded content to bring a sort of virtual-reality experience to, um, a certain member. Using a host of technologies, the futuristic-looking computer peripheral simulates motion, adjusts temperature and provides lubrication. The encoding is deciphered by a custom Windows Media Player plugin.
Basically you plug the unit's USB cable into your computer, plug your unit into the unit, and presto!: it mimics the feelings you'd experience if you were actually banging the chick in the porno and not sitting at a computer desk sobbing into a stained gym sock.
The Real Touch is available now for $150. And, if you get the chance AND ARE NOT AT WORK NSFW NSFW NSFW you HAVE TO go to the official website and watch the video of the chick explaining the device. It was....something.
NSFW NSFW NSFW Official Website NSFW NSFW NSFW
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The sickest gadget DVICE saw in Vegas [dvice]
Thanks to Rachel, whose lucky man doesn't need a Real Touch.
Oct 29 2008 Circular Saw Won't Cut Fingers, Hot Dogs
The SawStop is a circular saw designed to prevent you from cutting all your fingers off. Personally, I think fingers are overrated.
The blade carries a small electrical charge. This charge is continuously monitored by a digital signal processor. When contact is made, the human body absorbs some of the charge, causing the voltage to drop. The drop in voltage triggers a quick release aluminum break. A heavy duty spring forces the brake into the teeth of the spinning blade. The teeth dig into the aluminum, stopping the blade cold. The blade's momentum forces it to retract below the table, and the motor is automatically shut off.
Wow, that's great. Except in the video, they only use hot dogs. If it works so well, why not use a real finger? F*** it, I say the inventor put his junk on line.
Thanks to Jeff, who makes beans & weenies the old fashioned way, with a table saw.
Sep 2 2008 $173,000: Microsoft Sunglasses For Sale
Need a new pair of sunglasses? Looking for an 80's pair that screams "I love Microsoft and don't care if I look like Billy Joel's grundle"?
What you're seeing is the only pair of 1980's Hot Green Microsoft sunglasses around! A reliable source said these were only given to a handful of employees and every pair has been broken or lost over time... Except for these! These sunglasses were in use while Microsoft Office (word, excel, etc) was created and released! These bright sunglasses were the reason for many bright attitudes during the rise of Microsoft, and those bright attitudes might be the only reason for Microsoft's success. These hot green shades were making a fashion statement on a desk at Microsoft while stocks split and and the company developed! These magical sunglasses deserve thanks for many things, without them the world might not have developed into the world we know and love today. Enough can't be said about the history and importance of these very special sunglasses.
Yep. Bidding starts at $173,000 and the auction ends in 12 hours, so you better get on it. Or, if you want, I'll sell you an iconic Apple hat. It's a real apple hot-glued to a Red Sox cap! Use the 'Buy It Now' option and I'll throw in a watermelon bong. I'm a fruit freak!
Hit the jump for two more pictures (in case you don't know what $0.60 80's glasses look like) and a link to the auction.
Continue Reading " $173,000: Microsoft Sunglasses For Sale "
Aug 14 2007 Lasonic iPod Boombox
If you're anything like me you spent the 80's rocking a Member's Only jacket and carrying around a ghetto blaster and a piece of cardboard so you'd be ready to break anywhere and everywhere. Well Lasonic is releasing an updated version of one of their most popular Boombox models of the 80's that includes a freaking iPod docking station. I just hope I can still run it off of D batteries. This thing is so awesome that I can't even show you a real picture of it because it would burn your retinas out and blow your eardrums simultaneously. So there is a graphical representation for your viewing pleasure. And by viewing pleasure I mean it was more than enough to give me a little twitter down there.
Lasonic iPod Boombox [Newlaunches]
