Nov 10 2009 Cute: 'LEGO My Apple' MacBook Stickers
Want to make it look like a LEGO minifig is entranced by the glowing apple on your MacBook? Well you're in luck, thanks to this $14 decal. JUST MAKE SURE YOU DON'T GET ANY AIR BUBBLES UNDERNEATH IT. That's like a death sentence for a sticker. And a death sentence for a blogger? Pants. Also, standing for long periods. It makes me so dizzy!
Hit the jump for several other MacBook decals, including Snow White, Pac-Man and Mario.
Sep 3 2009 How To Rob An Apple Store In 31 Seconds
Just like this. IN 31 seconds the thieves made off with 23 Macbook Pro's, 14 iPhones and 9 iPod Touch. Wow. And did anybody else find it annoying how the reporter was speaking during the video? "Watch again as the thieves show skilled practice at bringing down that plate glass door. And savvy enough to wear masks knowing there would be surveillance cameras ALL OVER THE PLACE." Skilled practice, really? THEY THREW A BRICK THROUGH A GLASS DOOR. "Savvy enough to wear masks"? Jesus, it's not like they trained pigeons to rob the store, they tied bandannas around their faces and this guy thinks they're criminal masterminds.
How to Rob an Apple Store [buzzfeed]
Thanks to Greg, Gino, Sarah and The Superficial Writer, who could have done it in 29 seconds AND snagged a couple iPhone cases.
Jun 27 2009 MacBooks Made With Space Technology
Here's video proof MacBooks are made with space technology. Now I don't want to ruin it for you, but I'm going to anyways: they are among us. And by they I mean them. The French.
Thanks to Ryan, Geekologie fan.
Jun 8 2009 Apple's Worldwide Developer's Conference: New iPhone 3GS And Some Other Stuff
Well folks, Apple just wrapped up its Worldwide Developer's Conference in San Francisco, and, (no) surprise!: a new iPhone (and software update) available June 19th. Also, a couple new laptops and a new OS, Snow Leopard (I hope nobody got paid for that). Anyway, the highlights of the new iPhone are as follows:
- Improved performance
- 3-megapixel autofocus camera
- Video recording
- Voice Control
- Digital compass
- Cut, Copy & Paste
- MMS
- Spotlight Search
- Landscape keyboard
- Voice Memos
Wonderful. Especially considering I dropped mine face down on the driveway two days AND THEN STEPPED ON IT AND SKIDDED IT ACROSS THE concrete. Luckily, it didn't break, it just got scratched all to hell. Don't believe me? Hold on, I'll take a picture.
Okay, so you can't take a picture OF your iPhone WITH your iPhone (without using mirrors the way you'd look at your own ass in the bathroom).
Hit the jump for a picture of my wallpaper instead and a visual comparison of the new iPhone and old iPhone.
Continue Reading " Apple's Worldwide Developer's Conference: New iPhone 3GS And Some Other Stuff "
May 2 2009 DO NOT WANT: Worst MacBook Pro Ever
Ryan went to Best Buy to buy a MacBook Pro. And he did. Or so he thought. Then he brought it home and realized it was a brick. A real brick! Still, it's a step up from rocks.
When I got home I opened the box and found a paving stone packed with bubble wrap, instead of the Macbook Pro. I returned to the store and the manager, "Keith", was not too willing to help me out. He kept falling back on the line "Apple seals the boxes, not us. Take it up with Apple."
I have sent an email to Best Buy corporate and have contacted my credit card company. Unfortunately, they can't do anything until the charge posts.So right now, I paid $2164.89 for a very nice red brick.
ZOMG, I've burnt stores to the ground for less. Like that drug store that was out of Magnums. Okay, that never happened. But if it did....
I wouldn't know what to do with all that penis!
$2164.89 Paving Stone in a MacBook Pro Box Looks Nice, But Won't Run Photoshop [consumerist]
Thanks to Jeremy, who thought he was buying a cinder block but it turned out to be a Ferrari. You lucky dog!
Mar 14 2009 MacBook Modded With Screen In Apple Logo
Some guy went and modded a MacBook with a fully functional LCD screen in place of the traditional glowing Apple logo on the back. It's set up as a second monitor too so he can precisely control whatever appears on the thing. But mostly he uses it to display his webcam or iTunes Visualizer. Impressive, guy, but not nearly as impressive as my Apple logo mod, which is -- wait for it, wait for it....a saltwater fish tank! Boom-shacka-lacka!
Jan 6 2009 Um, Hooray?: MacWorld Keynote Highlights
Good afternoon my delicate flowers. The MacWorld keynote ended not too long ago and I am here to report the highlights of said keyish note. Unfortunately, most of the news was boring and made me flaccid.
iLife '09: iPhoto, face recognition for pictures, GPS geotagging, *yawn*, sorting options. New version of iMovie, new editing options, advanced drag-and-drop, free porn, themes. Garageband '09: new interface, learn how to play an instrument lessons ($5 a pop!)
iWork '09: who cares.
17" MacBook Pro: thinnest, lightest 17-inch laptop, 920 x 1200 display, 700:1 contrast ratio, 60% greater color gamut, alleged 8-hour battery. "It comes in one config -- $2799." 2.66GHz, 4GB RAM, 320GB hard drive."
iTunes: 10 million songs by end of the quarter, ALL DRM (digital rights management) FREE, finally. Also, $0.69 and $1.29 tiers for song purchases in addition to the regular $0.99 one. 3G downloading too! Whee!
Well folks, there you have it. I want my Pulitzer melted and sent to Cash-For-Gold. The Greenbacks, bitches, I want them!
Live from the Macworld 2009 keynote [engadget]
Sep 4 2008 The My Document Laptop Bag: Honestly, Who Needs More Than One Document Anyway?
Remember when the Macbook Air came out with that commercial of the computer fitting in an envelope and that singer that I think I want to have sex with singing that song that's really catchy? And then how people actually started making laptop envelopes like the one in the ad so they can make a quick buck to support their drug habits? Me neither, but apparently it happened. And now there's another novelty laptop carrier on the market -- the $30 My Document!
So, we figured, why not extend that already abused metaphor by storing the device that stores your "My Documents" folder in a "My Documents" folder of its own? Behold - this neoprene laptop sleeve is big enough to snugly house your laptop, up to 15.4 inches, inside. The inner fleece lining keeps everything shiny and scratch-free. Plus, we've included the pixilated cursor-pin to ram that concept home.Guaranteed to turn heads when you pull your laptop out!
Oh man, you will seriously turn so many heads when you pull your laptop out of this bag! Twice the number if you whip your pecker out simultaneously.
Hit the jump for a few more product pictures.
Continue Reading " The My Document Laptop Bag: Honestly, Who Needs More Than One Document Anyway? "
Aug 22 2008 Microsoft Recruits Gates, Seinfeld To Help Combat Apple's Current "Get A Mac" Ads
Apple keeps putting out those "Get a Mac" ads and Microsoft has finally decided it's not going to take them lying down with its ass in the air. So what's the company doing? Starting an ad campaign with "key celebrity pitchman" Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, and Bill Gates.
The campaign is said to be based on the idea of "Windows, Not Walls," stressing the need to "break down barriers that prevent people and ideas from connecting." Something we think open-sourcers might have a laugh at. Anywho, the immediate goal of the campaign is to reverse the negative public perception of Vista and thus incorporates elements of the Mojave Experiment. While we have doubts about the latter, the combination of Seinfeld's pithy observations with a bit of that Bill Gates, self deprecating humor seen in "Bill's Last Day" could be a winning combination.
The campaign, which kicks off September 4th, will cost Microsoft over $300 million, which, if I've done my nautical math correctly, is a lot of freaking clams. More than I could eat in one sitting anyway. If Microsoft gave me a hundredth of that money I could run Apple into the ground single keyboardedly. I'M THE GEEKOLOGIE WRITER DAMNIT, WHEN I TYPE, PEOPLE READ! Isn't that...Jesus, you're not even paying attention are you?
Microsoft enlists Seinfeld, Gates to battle "Get a Mac" ads [engadget]
Thanks Sam, you wanna be part of my smear campaign?
Jul 22 2008 MacBook Touch Hitting Streets In October?
There have been rumors flying that a MacBook touch could be hitting the market as early as October. Allegedly these rumors are substantiated too, as they came from a MacDailyNews source that broke the wireless iTunes story early as well.
Think MacBook screen, possibly a bit smaller, in glass with iPhone-like, but fuller-featured Multi-Touch. Gesture library. Full Mac OS X. This is why they bought P.A. Semi. Possibly with Immersion's haptic tech. Slot-loading SuperDrive. Accelerometer. GPS. Pretty expensive to produce initially, but sold at "low" price that will reduce margins. Apple wants to move these babies. And move they will. This is some sick shit. App Store-compatible, able to run Mac apps, too. By October at the latest.
Okay, I've heard enough. Admittedly, I was believing it at first, but now I can tell it's is a lie. How? Trusted sources don't say "This is some sick shit." That's like a back alley plastic surgeon promising you "the sweetest f***in' knockers this eye ever saw" while tapping his eyepatch and waving a machete. Sure you want to believe it, but you also want to know why the guy is working out the back of an Italian restaurant.
That said, I'm sure it's true.
Rumor: MacBook touch Coming in October [gizmodo]
Thanks Dan, now the girlfriend is gonna hound me for one.
Mar 27 2008 Steve Jobs Picture Made Of Apple Products
This is a picture of Steve Jobs made entirely out of Apple products. Its collage nature loosely reminds me of the Star Wars Last Supper, except that one was an awesome scene with Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker, and this one is Steve Jobs. It was created for a special in Fortune magazine.
Originally made in December 2007 and corrected in February 2008 to include the latest Apple products like MacBook Air, iPod nano pink etc. Made with Synthetik Studio Artist, Adobe Photoshop and Apple QuickTime Pro with custom developed scripts and techniques.
I was so inspired by this technique that I decided to make my own collage self-portrait that really exemplifies who I am as a human. Unfortunately, I ran out of pictures of dongs and assholes before I could finish.
Full Size Flickr Picture
via
Incredible Steve Jobs Portrait Made From Apple Products [techeblog]
Jan 22 2008 MacHeads The Movie Coming Soon! Whee!
Apparently this is a legitimate film being made about Mac lovers and is not just a jab at crazy fanboys. It's definitely worth checking out. And I'm going to preface this with the following statement: I don't have anything against Mac fans at all. I like Apple. My wife swears by her MacBook and I heart my iPod Touch and want to be buried with it. That being said, the Apple fanatics in this video are freaking nuts.
MacHeads The Movie Trailer Shocks, Revolts, Intrigues Us [gizmodo]
Jan 18 2008 MacBook Air Manila Envelope Sadly A Reality
Remember the notorious manila envelope used to display the new MacBook Air's incredibly thin dimensions? Well now you can actually buy one. Well, you've always been able to buy manila envelopes, but now you can get a fleece-lined vinyl one made to protect your precious Air. Called the AirMail, it runs $30, is made by two crazy people, and ships out as soon as the new Mac does. Which is pretty soon. But not before I finish this post. There, done. Ha, beat that Apple. You so slow.
Thanks to Lindsey, who is too beautiful to descibe with my limited vocabulary, for the tip
Jan 16 2008 Now Showing: The MacBook Air Commercial
Well I'm (sadly) back from Mexico after my MacWorld adventures, and what do you know -- Apple is flashing their new MacBook Air commercial all over the place trying to get me to buy one. Now don't get me wrong, I'd accept one for free, but I don't exactly have $1,800 to spend on a laptop that is so light it'll float off the desk and into the stratosphere. This commercial teaches us that the MacBook Air can fit into a manila envelope. Now how many times are you going to stuff your laptop into an unprotected sleeve and ship it around anyways? Those envelopes are only rated for shipping analog computers. And by analog computers I mean paper.
Thanks to Andy, who is so tough he actually breathes MacBook Air, for the tip
Jan 15 2008 MacWorld 2008, Introducing The MacBook Air
The new MacBook Air isn't actually invisible like I first suspected. Nor does it float. It's just way thin and has no optical drive. The Air rocks a 13.3" screen, is 0.76 inches at the thickest, weighs 3 pounds, and features a multi-touch trackpad. It comes with an ultrathin 80GB hard drive, but you've got the option for a 64GB solid-state drive if you prefer yours with no moving parts. Part of the Air's appeal is its incredible wireless diversity. You can install software on the machine by "borrowing" the disk drive of another computer and having it send the data to the Air. You can also transfer files wirelessly from another computer or the new Time Capsule external HD/Wi-Fi station. The 1.6GHz with 80GB standard hard drive starts at $1,800. The 1.8GHz with 64GB solid-state hard drive starts at $3,100. Both models begin shipping in two weeks and neither has a removable battery.
I apologize for not being able to post this earlier, but I was kicked out of MacWorld for "being a complete dick" and "peeing on the floor", both of which I contest. While I did punch that overzealous fanboy (see picture), it was because the little bastard kept stepping on my new shoes (that and his haircut). And as for the public urination charge -- that was just the ziplock of bourbon I had taped to my leg leaking. Long story short: I made out with two female cops, jumped out of a speeding police car, caught the last wild unicorn with my bare hands, flew it across the border to Mexico, sold the unicorn for a bottle of spanish fly and admission to a donkey show, and now I'm in a bar drinking cheap tequila and blogging. And that, my friends, was MacWorld 2008 for the Geekologie writer. See you next year Steve!
The MacBook Air [engadget]
