Oct 13 2009 It's Just So....Beautiful: Amazing Sand Art

MORE: amazing , art , artist , badass , contest , cool , i like , impressive , L337 , light , mesmerizing , neat , sand , skills , television , video , winner

This is the winner of the hit television series Ukraine's Got Talent, Kseniya Simonova, showing off her sand manipulating skills. And let me tell you, it's impressive. Almost as impressive as the time I made a three-bucket sandcastle at the beach before the ocean washed it away. DAMN YOU, POSEIDON, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!

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Thanks to Joemo, Misa, Harriet and naas, who have all kicked sand in an opponent's face during a fistfight.

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Aug 18 2009 Kid Showing Off His Parallel Parking Skills

MORE: awh , buck-a-curb , car , cute , driving , future , good job , i like , impressive , kid , L337 , lady killer , nice , parking , pfft -- i could do that , skills , video , vroom vroom , wow

This is a short video of a future stunt car driver showing off his parallel parking skills to all the neighborhood ladies (6 and under only, please. Cougars need not apply). Impressive, little guy, but can you, oh I dunno, PERFORM A THREE POINT TURN?!? Because I can't, I failed the driving test four times. The GW: Driving without a license since '96.

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Thanks to NEWS TIP!, who may or may not understand what you're supposed to put in the 'Name' box.

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Jul 6 2009 String Wizard: Talent Show Yo-Yo Performance

MORE: around the world , awesome , i couldn't do it , impressive , L337 , not bad , skills , song , string , sure why not , talented young artist , video , walking the dog , whee! , wow

Because there's nothing more dramatic than choreographing your yo-yo routine to a Ne-Yo song.

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Thanks to Leejay, who can perform all those tricks (with a yo-yo ball).

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Apr 24 2009 Modern Samurai Returns With More HI-YA

MORE: awesome , blade of fury , cutting , dangerous , geez , goodness gracious , hi-ya , holy shit , impressive , killer , L337 , remind me not to challenge this guy , samurai , sharp , skills , stabby , sword , vegetables , video , wow

I'm not sure if you enjoyed the last episode of Isao Machii: Modern Samurai as much as I did, but if you didn't, you should watch it again until you do. Then we can start a book club. But instead of books we'll discuss Youtube videos and drink beer. Plus, if you're a chick, we could make out. Hell, even if you're not but willing to wear a Dilophosaurus costume. Anyway, I'm sure you've just been chilling till the next episode, but chill no longer, because here she blows. The highlights:

0:45: Isao cuts the wick off a burning candle. The GW begins practicing for his next birthday party.
2:30: Isao cuts the skin off a piece of asparagus. My pee smells funny after I eat asparagus.
4:40: Isao slices the tail off an arrow that's been shot at him. I reconsider bringing a bow and arrow to a samurai sword fight.
8:30: Isao cuts a steel plate in half without bending or warping the piece at all. I consider hiring Isao for future construction jobs.

Well folks, there you have it, the latest from a modern Samurai. And now, the latest from a modern Don Juan:

Last night: Woman at the bar rejected all my advances, despite my insistence I could make her internet famous. Went home alone and treated myself to a stranger in the bathtub.

Too romantic?

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Thanks to Tom and Jason, who can cut through steel with just a glance and have to wear those special shades Cyclops wears. Just kidding, they're fake Oakleys.

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