Nov 11 2009 Japan Firm Makes Custom Barcode Art

D-Barcode is a Japanese firm that will design your barcode to look cooler than the standard bunch of lines. These are some examples of their work. But it doesn't come cheap! And, despite what you may have read above the urinal, neither do I.

It can be pretty pricey, though: $1,500 for a design, and $200 a year for licensing fees. If you want a code all your own, that can even cost as much as $4,000.

Now I know what you're thinking, "pfft, I could do that". But that's where you're wrong, because you and I both know you couldn't. Remember kindergarten? Remember how you couldn't keep the color inside the lines? Your parents thought you were retarded. Dad still does.

In Japan, humble barcodes are works of art [dvice]

Oct 23 2009 LED Eyelashes: No, That's Not Weird At All

LED eyelashes are exactly what they sound like: LEDs that attach to your eyelashes and light up to freak everybody out. I would wear them but my eyes are perfect the way they are. Read: eyepatched. YAAAAARR! Now, somebody put my cutlass in my hand and point me toward the liquor store: I'm feeling plunder-y.

Hit the jump for one more shot of the ridiculousness.

Continue Reading " LED Eyelashes: No, That's Not Weird At All "

Oct 15 2009 Didn't Need To See That: Hello Kitty Anatomy

Ever wonder what was inside Hello Kitty? Me neither, I just assumed it was hairballs and maybe one of those toy mice. Boy was I wrong -- apparently she has guts. Aaaaaah I just want to lick them!

As part of the Dr. Romanelli x Hello Kitty collaboration we see the release of the "Anatomy" toys. The toy comes in two colorways and features a true Dr. design, revealing the inner organs of the iconic character. The toys have been produced by Medicom Toy.

Wow, so it's a real toy. That's cool. I guess you have to teach your kids about anatomy somehow. And no, NOT BY LETTING THEM SHOWER WITH YOU. Also, I like the Band-Aids on Hello's heart, I thought that was a nice touch. TELL ME WHO HURT YOU, KITTY, I'LL KILL THEM! Also, I'm no vet but you might not what that turd floating so close to your vital organs.

Hit the jump for the other color and a shot of the two models together.

Continue Reading " Didn't Need To See That: Hello Kitty Anatomy "

Sep 29 2009 Limited Edition Timepieces From Tokyoflash

This is a line of limited edition Casio watches available from Tokyoflash. Now I know what you're thinking, "Gosh, it's been forever -- I didn't think we'd eeeever see any more Tokyoflashes here on Geekologie." Well think again, suckers! Like a Phoenix, Tokyoflash is a fiery dragon created by Gaia to rise from a Japanese ashtray and aid Godzilla in ridding the world of our robotic overlords. And these designs, nowhere near as tricky to read as Tokyoflash's typical offerings, are perfect for those of you with special needs. I ordered the Cubic Puzzle model for myself. What? There's no shame in my special needs game! Now, help me tie this shoe, it's being tricky.

Product Page (one other limited edition model from Riki HERE)

Sep 21 2009 I Can't Even See The Puck: Trippy Air Hockey

This is video of a Japanese air hockey table (possibly manufactured by Sega) that's designed to give game participants seizures. I couldn't even see the puck most of the time. And not just because I was rolling around on the floor clutching my eyes, but I was. Your mom keeps sending nudey pics!

Hit the jump for two more videos of the table, the first of which has a bunch of fake pucks on the table the whole time, and the second demonstrating the table's variable goal size capabilities.

Continue Reading " I Can't Even See The Puck: Trippy Air Hockey "

Sep 21 2009 Sexy Japanese Lap Pillow Is An Actual Lap

This is a $99 Lap Pillow from Japan that, get this, looks like an actual lap! They come in both black and red skirt options and make a perfect gift for the person in your life that has everything but sexual relations with real people.

This pillow is skin-coloured polyurethene calves folded under soft thighs, a comfy cushion for napping, reading, or watching television.

And that's ALL they're good for, okay? Napping. Reading. Watching television. No funny business -- this includes prop comedy. Wocka wocka wocka!

Product Site

Thanks to Claytron, who is holding out for chest pillows which, actually, probably already exist.

Sep 14 2009 Yes, Please!: Pew Pew Laser Cheeze

Laser cheese is cheese that comes out of Captain Cheeseface's magical fingertips. According to this commercial, one finger shoots cheese chunks and the other a fine cheesy powder. Together they make pasteurized magic! OOOH OOOH, OVER HERE MR. CHEESE WHIZ -- shoot it right in my mouth! Yes, yes, now my eyes -- DO ME IN THE EYES! OMG -- OMG -- CHEEEEEEESEVISIOOOOOOON!

Youtube (from pictureisunrelated)

Thanks to chris and NumberOneSpatula, who once robbed a bank with cheese sticks. Pretty gutsy, guys. Also, delicious (pass the marinara).

Sep 2 2009 Japan To Build An Outerspace Power Plant (To Power The Robots Of The Apocalypse)

Somebody better blast a proton torpedo through this thing's auxiliary exhaust port or it's game over, man. I'm serious too -- if you don't think this thing isn't gonna be powering our metallic harbingers of death, you're delusional. So, yeah, Japan is coughing up $21 billion to have a bigass solar panel floating around in space and sending the energy back to planet urf.

[The power station] will beam enough energy back to Earth to power 294,000 homes. With no cables.

The whole deal is being put together by Mitsubishi Electric Corp. and industrial design company IGI Corp. The plan involves a gigantic solar panel floating around in space, soaking up a gigawatt of energy and beaming it to Earth without the use of cables. And they hope to have it ready to rock within four years.

Wow, you're not gonna wanna get in the way of that energy beam. Because one time I stood in front of a satellite internet dish for too long and 0101001010 10011 00001 01010010 1010 010100111 0101. Whoa, what just happened -- and why are my pants wet?

Japan to Spend $21,000,000,000 on a Power Plant in F%#king Space [gizmodo]

Thanks to Brian and Schmitty, who know the only the only good station in space is a topless service station with a Slush Puppy machine and lots of candy.

Aug 26 2009 I Would Hit That Like Vending Machine With A Stuck Bag Of Chips: XBox Controller Bento

This is a bento box made by Laura Bento (that would be like me being named Charles Blog!) for her husband's lunch. It looks pretty delicious. And I'm not just saying that because the only thing I've had to eat was a stale biscuit for lunch yesterday, but I am starting to see mirages.

The controller itself is obviously mostly comprised of rice, but the D-Pad was constructed from naturally grey Konnyaku (Japanese yam cake), while lemon peel, green apple peel, red pepper and dyed blue egg white make up the four colorful buttons.

Geez, look at all that SPAM. I sure hope Laura's husband works in a toilet testing factory. Get it? Because I heard he likes to eat on the john! Hey, me too!

Xbox 360 Bento Box Puts Real Xbox 360 to Shame [gizmodo]

Thanks to Heather, who once bento boxed a Sumo wrestler and won in the first round.

Aug 10 2009 Holodeck Coming Soon: Touchable Hologram

That's right folks, a fully functional Holodeck may be just around the corner. Using a combination of hologram and ultrasound technologies, a group of Japanese scientists have created a touchable, feelable 3-D image. Imagine the possibilities! I'm looking at you, Princess Leia.

Using ultrasonic waves to provide the resistance and tactile presence, the hologram simulates the sensation of rain drops or a small ball, all without interfering with the projected 3-D image. A couple of Wiimotes provide the tracking, and the programing provides the fun.

That's actually pretty freaking awesome. And I, for one, can't wait to see the long term, practical applications of this new technology (read: porn and video games).

Tokyo Scientists Create Touchable Hologram [popsci]

Thanks to Mih0, Will, eazie, Pete, Brocknoviatch and Daryl, who all prefer real life touching. Good, now rub my back.

Aug 7 2009 Bark Translator Tells What Your Dog Wants

The Bowlingual Voice bark translator translates a dog's barks into words a human can understand. Words like, "I'm about to pee on the carpet!"

Developed by Takara Tomy, a Japanese toy company, this little gadget is supposed to translate your dog's feelings into words you can understand (while making your dog look like something out of a sci-fi movie). The gadget can tell you if your dog is sad, joyful, alert to danger, needy, happy or frustrated.

The £129 ($215) gadget can be placed on the dog's collar and includes a receiver which would translate the dogs' barks. The translated bark is displayed on the receiver which also plays in audio phrases like 'I feel sad' or 'Leave me alone', the toy will hit the Japanese market on August 27th.

I question how well the device actually works, but what's $215 to pretend you're your Doctor Dolittle? Read: buy a stethoscope and rectal thermometer and call it a day.

Bowlingual Voice Can Help You Talk To Your Dog! [trendsupdates]

Thanks to Trevor, who once had a conversation with a mounted dear head when they were both on peyote.

Jul 28 2009 Marvel Superheroes Getting Anime Treatment

Not to be outdone by Master Chief, both Iron Man and Wolverine are getting the anime treatment courtesy of Madhouse Studios and Marvel Entertainment. Allegedly, two more superheroes will follow. This is the teaser for Iron Man, Wolverine is behind the cut. Get it, behind the cut? Because of his claws!

Hit it for Wolverine, which was much weirder.

Continue Reading " Marvel Superheroes Getting Anime Treatment "

Jul 22 2009 Robot Built To Model Wedding Dresses

'Miimu', a HRP-4C robot, is seen here being utilized as a runway model for Japanese fashion designer Yumi Katsura's line of bridal gowns. And, since I know women so well, I'll give you men a little insight into how their minds work.

"I really love this dress -- but how would it look on a robot?"

Which brings up another disconcerting thought -- robot marriage. And you know what's sad? They'll probably allow unholy robotic matrimony before gay marriage. And that, my friends, makes me want to blow up the moon. And I don't even care if it's delicious cheese.

It's a nice day for a robot wedding [metro]

Thanks to Doctor Steel and Graf Zeppelin, who together form Doctor Graf Steel Zeppelin, which, you know, is pretty cool.

Jul 21 2009 Blue Beer From Melted Icebergs, Seaweed

The Japanese, in their unending quest to make the awesomest stuff on the planet (minus robots), are manufacturing blue beer made from melted icebergs (take that you Titanic sinking bitch!). And, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I have already had colored beer on St. Patty's day before. It made my throw up green!

Okhotsk Blue Draft stands out for its cool color and interesting (yet not off-putting) ingredients. The brew is made using water melted from icebergs that float each year onto Hokkaido beaches from the chilly Sea of Okhotsk, an arm of the North Pacific ocean bordered by Japan and Russia.

Then Abashiri went one step further and used seaweed to give their brew and icy blue tint. Perhaps not the greatest selling point but it does make Okhotsk Blue look, well, different. As for the taste... reports state that Ryuho isn't at all bad as beers go, and if you didn't know there was seaweed in it, you likely wouldn't guess there was.

Abashiri also manufactures red and green beers (picture after the jump) because, honestly, what better way to teach your children their colors? Son, fetch daddy another purple one. I said purple, this is blue -- YOU WILL NEVER BE A PAINTER!

Hit the jump for a shot of the other colors and a commercial for the beer.

Continue Reading " Blue Beer From Melted Icebergs, Seaweed "

Jun 16 2009 This Tastes Like Poison: Japan's Robot-Chefs

Japanese companies unveiled several new models of robotic-chefs at the recent Tokyo International Food Machinery and Tech Expo., and I, for one, am never eating out again. Kidding, ladies. Here's a breakdown of the video:

0:00 - 0:18: Pancake cooking robot sucks at flipping.
0:19 - 0:25: Robot sympathizer sympathizes with robots. You will not be saved.
0:26 - 0:39: Creepy looking realistic hand robot serves sushi, your fingers.
0:40 - 0:46: Depressed, engineer is depressed.
0:47 - 0:54: Crooked hat robot pleasures itself furiously with cucumber.
0:55 - 1:07: Segway-ass looking robot roofies your drink on it's way from the bar.

There you have it, I'm officially only eating PB&J sandwiches with ingredients processed in non-robotic factories. And if you think I'm joking you've got another thing coming. Namely, *POW* -- my fist.

Youtube

Thanks to calluless, get100pens, This Is Me Posting, Kai, Marcy, Daniel, 24-bit whore, Julian, Jawn and Draw, who would rather starve to death than eat robot-food.

May 29 2009 No, No, No: Japanese Killer Construction Bot

Wow, they're not even trying to make them look cute anymore. The Japanese born ROBOTOPS is a construction robot whose name is spelled in all caps because IT MEANS BUSINESS. The killing business.

The four-legged, two-armed robot is actually a kind of automated mobile crane with 29 functioning joints for picking off humans, and of course the occasional piece of construction material.

Using a high quality three-chip CCD camera, the robot can be operated remotely for particularly dangerous jobs.

And no, I didn't alter that quote at all. Finally, people are starting to get the picture. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one that sees a problem here. Seriously, Japan -- you know I love you (manga, sushi, worn panty vending machines), but this shit has got to stop. Because if not, well, Godzilla. Just sayin', we share a special bond (read: intercourse).

Japanese construction firm unleashes insectoid robot crane on humanity [dvice]

Thanks to cougar78, Aaron and John, who know the only good robots are the little guys from Batteries Not Included. Am I right? No, that was a test and you all failed.

May 19 2009 Closer To The Action: Kneeling Pee Bench

The Tenshi no Hizamakura (Angels Knee Pillow) is a little bench designed to get men lower to the action and help prevent urine misplacement. No word if it actually comes with the flying pee genie in the picture, but that would pretty awesome if it did (and also a bargain at $60).

...according to the manufacturer, House Doctor, urinating into the toilet from a certain height results in hundreds of droplets of spray & splash being ejected from the bowl - yes, they actually COUNTED the droplets - and in Japanese households it's the wife who gets to perform the toilet cleaning services.

Ha, maybe America and Japan aren't so different after all. Get it? Because the women do the cleaning here too! Isn't that right, honey? Honey? HONEY?! Shit. Note to self: rerun singles ad. Bigger penis this time.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the questionableness that I'll never need because I always sit down.

Continue Reading " Closer To The Action: Kneeling Pee Bench "

May 12 2009 Wuv, Tru Wuv: Heart-Shaped Watermelons

What? I CAN QUOTE The Princess Bride IF I WANT. There's no shame in my game. Or extra lives. Anyway, just in time for not Valentine's Day, Japanese jolly ranchers Kiroichi Kimura and his wife have perfected a way of growing heart-shaped watermelons, which sell for up to $160. It took three years to develop the process, which involves implanting a watermelon seed in a giant's heart and then slaying it and removing the melon afterward. Nice, guys, but I think I still stick to regular-shaped melons. *ahem* I'm looking at you, female Geekologie reader.

Heart-shaped watermelons in Japan [japanprobe]

Thanks to Ashnod, ffffffffffffffffffffff and NESbeast, who are holding out for spleen shaped watermelons.

May 7 2009 Lose Weight, Somehow: The Boneless Belt

The Boneless Belt is a Japanese weight loss product that's supposed to help you shed the pounds. From the look of things, I'm gonna guess it's far less effective than exercise or tying a dry cleaning bag over your head. But hey, different strokes for different folks gullible idiots.

In effect, the structure of the rubber belt is a large mesh grid that splits the dieter's belly, side and back fat into easily manageable blobs. This allows for increased metabolic consumption of calories and raises the propensity for increased blood flow values. More blood flow = more heat = more burning of fat.

Wow, that was really convincing. And by really convincing I mean I want to pop that shit like a sheet of bubble wrap! *SNAP POP BANG*

Boneless Belt Separates Your Fat Into Small Segments, Shames You [gizmodo]

Apr 30 2009 Scientists Create Chemical Gel That Moves On It's Own, Will Power Our Future Overlords

Some foolish Japanese scientists have developed a chemical compound capable of moving on it's own. They're convinced it's the stuff future robots will be made of. I'm convinced I just let one loose in my pants.

A group of Japanese roboticists, led by Shingo Maeda at the Shuji Hashimoto applied physics laboratory at Waseda University, have created a chemical gel capable of independent motion, similar to that of a caterpillar.

Using a process that combines polymers, the material not only moves on its own, but also can change colors and can be used to perform calculations. According to the scientists involved in the project the morphable material could even one day be used as components of a future robot, thus making the notion of the incredibly scary Terminator T-1000 a real possibility.

That's....terrible news. WTF, ROBOTICISTS? Roboticists shouldn't even be a real thing. If I close my eyes and say, "roboticists don't exist" three times they should all disappear, right? Okay, *covering eyes* "roboticists don't exist, roboticists don't exist, roboticists don't exist". There *uncovering eyes* HOLY SHIT -- BLOODY MARY, AAAAAAAAHHH!

Hit the jump for a video of a miniature T-1000 in action.

Continue Reading " Scientists Create Chemical Gel That Moves On It's Own, Will Power Our Future Overlords "