Oct 16 2009 Highly Questionable Japanese Sniper Prank

Is there anything funnier than tricking a Japanese man into a meeting and then faking the death of everybody else in the room by sniper fire? No. Unlessssss the alleged gunman then bursts in and puts his weapon to the man's head and pulls the trigger. Seriously, you're sick, Japan (keep the freaky Hentai coming).

Youtube

Thanks to Closet Nerd and Harry, whose parents don't allow them to watch Japanese TV for fear of them becoming morally corrupt.

Sep 18 2009 Japanese 'Break The Table' Arcade Game

This is a video of a Japanese arcade game in which you try to disturb a dinner party by breaking the table. WTF, I know. That said, I woulda karate-chopped the grain outta that bitch. High score? Or score high? You have two boobs....you have four boobs.

Youtube

Thanks to Shorty, who would have hid under the table and looked up your skirt.

Sep 2 2009 Japan To Build An Outerspace Power Plant (To Power The Robots Of The Apocalypse)

Somebody better blast a proton torpedo through this thing's auxiliary exhaust port or it's game over, man. I'm serious too -- if you don't think this thing isn't gonna be powering our metallic harbingers of death, you're delusional. So, yeah, Japan is coughing up $21 billion to have a bigass solar panel floating around in space and sending the energy back to planet urf.

[The power station] will beam enough energy back to Earth to power 294,000 homes. With no cables.

The whole deal is being put together by Mitsubishi Electric Corp. and industrial design company IGI Corp. The plan involves a gigantic solar panel floating around in space, soaking up a gigawatt of energy and beaming it to Earth without the use of cables. And they hope to have it ready to rock within four years.

Wow, you're not gonna wanna get in the way of that energy beam. Because one time I stood in front of a satellite internet dish for too long and 0101001010 10011 00001 01010010 1010 010100111 0101. Whoa, what just happened -- and why are my pants wet?

Japan to Spend $21,000,000,000 on a Power Plant in F%#king Space [gizmodo]

Thanks to Brian and Schmitty, who know the only the only good station in space is a topless service station with a Slush Puppy machine and lots of candy.

Aug 24 2009 Finally!: Heart And Star Shaped Cucumbers

In Japan's unending quest to grow edibles shaped like other things comes these heart and star shaped cucumbers.

These cucumbers represent the cumulative efforts of an agricultural coop determined to make food preparation a little bit more exciting. Comprised of nine women in Chiba, a suburb of Tokyo, this grass roots organization cleverly uses plastic molds affixed to the stem of the plant, with which they can create heart and star shapes when the cucumber is sliced cross-wise.

These romantic cucumbers are selling at fancy supermarkets in Tokyo and as specially ordered wedding gifts at ceremonies throughout Japan. They cost 300 yen each (about $2.50).

Nice try, growers, but Lucky Charms has been growing marshmallows in different shapes for years. Anybody ever picked through a whole box to make a bowl of nothing but marshmallows? Well I hope you washed your hands first.

Hit the jump for what the vegetables look like ON A SALAD.

Continue Reading " Finally!: Heart And Star Shaped Cucumbers "

Aug 6 2009 Burn It With Hot Water!: Ramen Cooking Robot

A Tokyo restaurant has programmed an industrial robot nicknamed Ramen-Bot to cook Ramen noodles for soon to be poisoned customers. Now I don't know about you, but I don't trust it. And as a matter of fact -- I only eat food processed in non-robotic factories. Because, damnit, I'm a humanitarian. Mmmm, people.

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Thanks to Drew, Michael, cathatter and Chris, who would rather take their chances with employees not washing their hands.

Jul 29 2009 That's Pretty Messed Up: 2-D Relationships

I think the picture speaks for itself, just listen. "This is sooooo creepy". There, did you hear that? I've written about being in love with 2-D characters before, but apparently the phenomenon is even more widespread than previously thought. Japan, you never cease to amaze me.

As they got to know each other, they traveled hundreds of miles west -- to Kyoto, Osaka and Nara, sleeping in his car or crashing on friends' couches to save money. They took touristy pictures under cherry trees, frolicked like children on merry-go-rounds and slurped noodles on street corners. Now, after three years together, they are virtually inseparable. "I've experienced so many amazing things because of her," Nisan told me, rubbing Nemutan's leg warmly. "She has really changed my life."

Nemutan doesn't really have a leg. She's a stuffed pillowcase -- a 2-D depiction of a character, Nemu, from an X-rated version of a PC video game called Da Capo, printed on synthetic fabric.

DUM DUM DUM! You like where I ended that quote? I did it for dramatic emphasis, and I think it worked. The New York Times has a really long, in-depth article about the phenomenon, so you may want to go check that out if you're a closet pillow humper. But seriously -- 18+ only pillows, please.

Love in 2-D [nytimes]

Thanks to amy, who can only love in 4-D.

Jul 28 2009 Marvel Superheroes Getting Anime Treatment

Not to be outdone by Master Chief, both Iron Man and Wolverine are getting the anime treatment courtesy of Madhouse Studios and Marvel Entertainment. Allegedly, two more superheroes will follow. This is the teaser for Iron Man, Wolverine is behind the cut. Get it, behind the cut? Because of his claws!

Hit it for Wolverine, which was much weirder.

Continue Reading " Marvel Superheroes Getting Anime Treatment "

Jul 23 2009 Tour Guide/Rent-A-Cop Robot Eats Children

Okay, so maybe it doesn't. OR AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THEY'D HAVE YOU BELIEVE. The Alsok Guard Robot D1 is being put to use in Fukuoka, Japan as tour guide/guard/monster piece of suck. Damn I'm good with the news!

The area's tourist attraction known as Canal City opted to use the decidedly cute and human-friendly services of a Alsok's Guard Robot D1.

In the daytime the robot functions as a kind of tour guide, offering website information and communication in Japanese, English, Chinese and Korean. At night the robot functions as a security guard, ready to alert authorities in case of trouble.

Not to start any wild rumors or anything, but I heard it touched a kid. BURN IT WITH FIRE!

Hit the jump for a video of the monster waste of money.

Continue Reading " Tour Guide/Rent-A-Cop Robot Eats Children "

Jul 13 2009 Robotic Workers Being Laid Off In Japan

Finally, some good news. Thanks to the current global economic crisis, many robots in Japan are finding themselves out of work. And, hopefully, oil. Rust and die you dirty bastards!

Japan's legions of robots, the world's largest fleet of mechanized workers, are being idled as the country suffers its deepest recession in more than a generation as consumers worldwide cut spending on cars and gadgets.

At a large Yaskawa Electric factory on the southern Japanese island of Kyushu, where robots once churned out more robots, a lone robotic worker with steely arms twisted and turned, testing its motors for the day new orders return. Its immobile co-workers stood silent in rows, many with arms frozen in midair.

They could be out of work for a long time. Japanese industrial production has plummeted almost 40 percent and with it, the demand for robots.

As pumped as I am to hear about out-of-work robots, the whole economic crisis thing kind of puts a damper on my excitation. I have feelings, you know? Also, a powerful green laser. Call me.

In Japan, Machines for Work and Play Are Idle [nytimes]

Thanks to patrick, who once stole a robots job AND its girlfriend. Good lookin', Patrick.

Jul 8 2009 Yes Please: Virtual Reality Dinosaurs In Japan

Canon, using virtual reality technology (that I'm going to steal), is planning an entirely nonexistent dinosaur exhibit at a museum in Chiba, Japan.

Visitors will be allowed to don a pair of virtual reality glasses that will display nearly life-sized three-dimensional images of various dinosaurs right there on the museum floor.

Displaying over 260 dinosaur specimens, some of the virtual creatures in the exhibit will also move, adding to their realistic effect.

First of all, Canon, those are not virtual reality glasses. Glasses don't look like a Polaroid camera and have a power cord. Secondly, how funny would it be to see me some random guy with a VR mask on dry humping thin air in the middle of a museum? If you answered, "that's not funny, that's love", congratulations, I'll let you pay for my that other guy's admittance.

Canon launches virtual reality dinosaur exhibit in Japan [dvice]

Thanks to FDSY, b-man and Aaron, who BACK OFF THE TRICERATOPS, HE'S MINE.

Jul 7 2009 "Smile Checks" Ensure Employees Are Happy And Ready For Work, Next: Metal Detectors

To ensure employees at Keihin Electric Express Railway in Japan are putting their best lip forward, the company has implemented a "smile check" policy, in which workers will be required to smile into a camera and have their mug subjected to software analysis of their happiness.

The device analyzes the facial characteristics of a person, including eye movements, lip curves and wrinkles, and rates a smile on a scale between 0 and 100 percent using a camera and computer.

For those with low scores, advice like "You still look too serious," or "Lift up your mouth corners," will be displayed on the screen.

Some 530 employees of the Tokyo-based railway company will check their smiles with Smile Scan before starting work each day. They will print out and carry around an image of their best smile in an attempt to remember it.

Wow. I smell discrimination. Or fire. Shit, yep that's definitely fire. HEEEEEELP! Wait a minute. *sniff* Pork chop sandwiches!

Your Smile Will Be Monitored To Evaluate Quality Of Service [io9]

Thanks to Trin, who once killed a robot with a smile. Brave move, Trin.

Jul 1 2009 Great: Japan Plans Another Giant Robot Statue

Japan,

You know I love you. I love your sushi and your weird sexual fetishes. But what's up with the robot thing, bro? That shit ain't right. First Gundam and now a 59-foot Tetsujin 28-go (Gigantor)? I mean, I'm worried about you. One minute I'm in a diaper being spanked by a geisha (enjoying myself) and the next thing you know, BOOM, let's built a permanent giant robot statue in Kobe. Needless to say, I'm gonna have to reevaluate our relationship.

I hope we can work this out,

Your Geekologie Writer

P.S. Some more worn schoolgirl panties may help sway my decision.

Hit the jump for a 'making of' video.

Continue Reading " Great: Japan Plans Another Giant Robot Statue "

Jun 14 2009 Ooooh, He's Light Up: Gundam At Night

Thought the Japanese Gundam statue looked good during the day? Well check it out at night! The statue is chock-full of blinky blinks and other lighting effects to help assure the citizens of Japan they're safe from attack. Unless it's an inside job. *ahem* I'm looking at you, RX-78.

Hit the jump for a bunch more and a link to the HQ versions in case you want to print em out and make love to them. Sicko.

Continue Reading " Ooooh, He's Light Up: Gundam At Night "

Jun 10 2009 Japan Completes Life-Sized Gundam Statue

Nice Japan, a giant freaking Gundam -- I was tired of living anyways. You know, you're really flirting with fire here. Like that time I tried to make out with a candle and almost set my nacho ablaze.

To celebrate the 30th anniversary of the mecha anime/manga/toy/video game franchise, this 18-meter-tall (59-foot-tall) RX-78 has been erected.

Fifty points on the Gundam statue will emit light, and mist will shoot out of 14 different points on the statue. The 1/1 scale Gundam boasts a moveable head and a continuous stream of oh-man-this-is-so-damn-cool.

Now I'm not saying this thing is gonna come alive, go rogue, and destroy Japan, but it is, and my schoolgirl panties better ship before it does.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a couple links to massive picture galleries.

Continue Reading " Japan Completes Life-Sized Gundam Statue "

Jun 6 2009 Yay, Color Choices!: Black Wii To Hit Market

Nintendo plans on releasing a black Wii in Japan sometime this summer and, if successful, it will likely be available in other parts of the world soon afterward. Now I know what you're thinking, and no, it's not gonna be any bigger than a white Wii. Remember: it's not the size of your console it's how you swing the Wiimote. Know what I'm saying? I'm saying I broke a lamp. Ladies?

Nintendo Wii is Coming in Black [walyou]

May 26 2009 Highly Questionable: Retro Star Trek Drawls

It's not dreaming about Spock staring at you in your skivvies with a quizzical smirk that bothers me, it's the fact that somebody might actually pay $75 for 34-year old USED underwear. What is this, Japan? Kidding -- you know I love you Japan!

Product Page

Thanks darkfall13, and to answer your question: frightening.

May 3 2009 Zombie Defense Training For Little Kids

This is a video of some little Japanese kids being trained to fight zombies. And let me tell you -- they are cute as little buttons. Remember folks, teach your kids how to properly protect themselves against attacks from the undead. Because otherwise you're gonna have to explain to your parents how a zombie ate their grandchild. And they will be pissed.

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Thanks to Shun, whose children are all comfortable wielding sawed-off shotguns.

Apr 23 2009 Giant Spiders Of Death Now Attacking Japan

I wasn't going to post this because we've already seen La Machine's spider in Liverpool, but I've gotten the tip so many times asking why I'm not covering the apocalypse like I should, that I figured I'd go ahead and scare the shit out of you all again. Must be your lucky day. Oh, and now there's two giant robotic spiders of death. Eek!

A pair of giant robotic spiders designed and built by French performance art group La Machine have come to Yokohama to take part in the upcoming Expo Y150, a 5-month festival commemorating the 150th anniversary of the opening of the city's port.

Although the Expo Y150 festivities are not scheduled to officially begin until the end of April, the enormous steampunk spiders could be seen prowling the Yokohama waterfront this weekend.

Great, so the spiders went ahead and got a leg up (or eight!) on the festivities. And by festivities I obviously mean killing everyone and burning Japan to the ground. Oh well, I guess I'll have to postpone my worn panty shopping spree another year. *sigh*

Hit the jump for another shot and video.

Continue Reading " Giant Spiders Of Death Now Attacking Japan "

Apr 11 2009 Robot Suit Going Into Production For $4,200

Well folks, it's happening. The HAL (Hybrid Assistive Limb) robot suit is going into mass production and will be available in Japan sometime soon for around $4,200.

This is great news for HAL's target market: Its ability to grant its wearer tenfold strength increases during specific actions could change the lives of people with degenerative muscle diseases, or accident victims who would otherwise need long, difficult rehabilitative therapy to regain basic mobility. And with a five-hour battery life, it could be quite practical for day to day use.

Thanks, but no thanks. I don't care if I was just a head, I would never ask a robot for help. But that's just me and my genius brain talking. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who would gladly use a HAL suit to better their quality of life. And those people -- those people are the enemy.

Video after the jump, just for the HAL of it.

Continue Reading " Robot Suit Going Into Production For $4,200 "

Apr 2 2009 Who Called It?: Fire-Breathing Robo-Baby Of Death Unleashed Upon The World

When I'm right, I'm right. And I was right. This is what death looks like.

Sculptor Kenji Yanobe's Giant Torayan robot, a 7.2-meter (24-ft) tall mechanical baby that sings, dances and spits fire, was sighted in Tokyo's Roppongi district last night. The fire-breathing robot spent the night on center stage at "Roppongi Art Night," an all-night event featuring installations and performances by dozens of artists at various venues in the area.

Well folks, it's been fun. *guzzling booze and Amoxicillin*

UPDATE: Am I dead? My tummy hurts.

Hit the jump for a bunch more of the last thing you'll ever see.

Continue Reading " Who Called It?: Fire-Breathing Robo-Baby Of Death Unleashed Upon The World "