Jun 10 2009 Aaaah!: Israeli Army To Deploy Robot Snakes

Well folks, based on the tips I've been getting, it looks like today might turn into Robot Apocalypse Awareness Day (RAAD -- which is ironic, because this is far from the power of sick). Long story short: it's probably best to empty your bowels now. So, apparently the Israeli army has been working on the development of creepy robot snakes (not to be confused with these ones) for use in battle. Not cool. Also, they may need to brush up on their Photoshop skills if they were trying to inconspicuously remove the power cord from that picture.

Well, apparently, the snake's physical attributes and all-terrain mobility advantages haven't gone unnoticed by the Israeli military. The Jerusalem Post is reporting that the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) have introduced an all-terrain snake-like recon robot/UGV (Unmanned Ground Vehicle) a.k.a. robotic snake or "robot snake" to crawl around the battlefield looking for the enemy and potential targets. If it locates the enemy, the robot snake can then slither up to the enemy/target and record audio and video of that target, and then slither right back off.

There is even talk of packing the things with explosives (making them much more like my snake) so you can detonate your enemies from afar. You know, just like that computer game Worms, except nothing like that at all. More like that game Oh Shit What the Eff Are You Thinking, Israel?!. Yeah, just like that one.

Hit the jump for a video of the snake in action.

Continue Reading " Aaaah!: Israeli Army To Deploy Robot Snakes "

Nov 26 2008 Israeli Software 'Beautifies' Ugly Faces

A group of Israeli computer scientists think they've developed a program that can beautify a human face based on the innate preferences humans have. As you can see from the "beautified" Mona Lisa there, they've failed. I could have done a better job in Microsoft Paint.

"We were able to fit a mathematical model to this set of data that we've gathered, namely the images that we showed to people and their responses in terms of the beauty scores that they chose to give to each image," said Lischinksi.

Um, dude? Your mathematical model blows monster dino-dick.

The team then applied the model to modify images so as to make them appear more attractive. They are now exploring a variety of potential commercial applications for the software, Lischinski said.

"This is something we're looking into," he said. It remains to be seen whether women would simply use the improved image as a guide to more effective makeup application or whether people take it to a plastic surgeon and say: "Make me look like that."

Ladies, this is such garbage -- you're all beautiful just the way you are. Especially naked. And I mean that.

Keep the pictures coming.

Hit the jump for a real human face comparison.

Continue Reading " Israeli Software 'Beautifies' Ugly Faces "

Mar 18 2008 ICQ P2P Toothpaste Is Highly Questionable

An Israeli pharmaceutical company is releasing ICQ toothpaste that'll ""help P2P communication (person to person) while reducing bad breath." Awesome. I'm going bald, so I really hope they come out with a hair balm for S2E (self to esteem) communication too. You know, it seems like only yesterday I met my first girlfriend on ICQ. I would always race home to the computer to chat with her after I got out of school. It got pretty serious and we finally we decided to meet one day. And yes, you guessed it -- it was my best friend's dad trolling for boys. He broke up with me a few weeks later.

ICQ, the Toothpaste [gizmodo]

Thanks to Steve, who has shining white teeth and pleasant-smelling breath, for the tip