May 20 2009 Craigslist: Sword That Killed Goliath For Sale
Somebody in St. Louis, Missouri is selling a sword that may or may not be the one David used to chop that punk bitch Goliath's monster nog off after getting him all stoned. Wow, I should really teach Sunday School.
B.C. sword the question is ? Is this the sword of the giant, that little young David chopped the giant head off ? I have received alot of responds on this sword because nothing like this have never came up in history of antiques, and not to much talked about because no one wants to talk about the Bible, one question why 7,000 and this is just pennies in whats it's worth, and everyone knows about the game in collecting and how things pass from hand to hand until one gets the big bucks. So if anyone is interested in this sword they must do their home work I found the information and only went to 7th grade, solike you say you need more infor you must research it yourself and then bring me 7,000 dollars ... also this sword is about three feet long ..
That made no sense. Apparently they don't teach writing in St. Louis until 8th grade. Also, David used Goliath's own sword to cut his head off right? SO WHAT WOULD A GIANT BE DOING WITH A 3-FOOT SWORD? No, more than likely this is the sword Jesus used to kill the ninjas at the Battle of Bethlehem.
Thanks to Todd, who, IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!
Apr 27 2009 It's Scientific: Bacon Cures Hangovers
In a study that surprises nobody who's woken up still Tyrannosaurus Wrecked from the night before in a puddle of someone else's urine and eaten the breakfast of gods, scientists have discovered bacon really does cure a hangover.
"Bread is high in carbohydrates and bacon is full of protein, which breaks down into amino acids. Your body needs these amino acids, so eating them will make you feel good."
"Bingeing on alcohol depletes neurotransmitters too, but bacon contains a high level of aminos which tops these up, giving you a clearer head."Researchers also found a complex chemical interaction in the cooking of bacon produces the winning combination of taste and smell which is almost irresistible.
As a matter of fact, I remember reading somewhere in the Bible that the Apostles would all fry camel (a close relative of the pig, don't bother looking this up) after a night of boozing. So, yeah -- bacon: it's what Jesus would do.
Also, that's me in the picture.
Bacon sandwich really does cure a hangover [telegraph]
Thanks to The Baconator, Kevin, Rick, Cam, Duffman, Jonathan and Barry, who know the best way to cure a hangover is to start drinking again.
Feb 12 2009 Just In Time For Valentine's!: An Ox Is Born With A Heart On Its Head, Named "Heart"
Per the Gospel according to Geekologie:
And before the day of Valentine's, you will be blessed with an ox. And this ox will carry a sign. Of peace and love. And also, deliciousness. Jesus, quick -- water into barbecue sauce!
Hit the jump for another very special Valentine's heart animal.
Dec 22 2008 Float-A-Pet Prevents Pet Drownings
The Float-A-Pet floating dog collar saves pet lives should God decide to spite us with another flood for all the debauchery. When the collar's sensors detect water -- PFFFFT -- the collar inflates, keeping most tiny-ass dogs and cats afloat by their neck. Also, I'd say it probably works on turtles. But seriously Noah, you could have saved yourself a ton of labor.
Floating dog collar will keep your pooch afloat in a flood [dvice]
Nov 18 2008 Old Vampire-Killing Kit Sells For Small Fortune
An authentic vampire-killing kit from the 1800's recently sold at auction for nearly $15,000 to a pale man in a black cape. "This is a complete kit that comes fully equipped - stakes, mirrors, a gun with silver bullets (because where there are Vampires there might be Werewolves), crosses, a Bible, holy water, candles and garlic." The whole kit is housed in a beautifully decorated American walnut carrying-case. You know, because vampires hate nut trees, and nuts in general. Isn't that right, Dracula? Haha, biggest pair you've ever seen!
1800s Vampire Killing Kit Sold For $14,850 [youbentmywookie]
Thanks to Dave and REW, both of whom are trained in the art of beating the shit out of vampires.
Mar 28 2008 Last Supper With Video Game Characters
Ever wonder what da Vinci's Last Supper would look like with video game characters? Possibly something like this. Except why on earth is Donkey Kong portraying Jesus? That's sacrilege if I've ever seen it. And Mario as Judas? So wrong. Mario or Link should be Jesus, and Princess Peach should be giving them all a table dance.
The LEGO Last Supper from Brick Testament after the jump. It's been posted here before, but I'm doing it again. Why? Because I <3 Jesus.
Mar 17 2008 Bible Fighting Game Is Wrong, Sinful, Fun
Bible Fight is religious-themed Flash game made by This Is Pop for Adult Swim. You get to choose a Biblical fighter (Noah, Moses, Jesus, Mary, Eve, and Satan) and stage (Garden of Eden, Noah's Ark, the Parted Seas, the Manger, Hell, Golgotha, and Heaven) and duke it out Street Fighter style. Each player has special moves (that picture is of Noah releasing his Stampede attack) and I felt pretty wrong playing it. It was kind of fun seeing everyone's specials though. Oh, hold on, phone. "Jesus? I know I shouldn't have played as Satan. I know, I'm sorry. Won't happen again. You and the Apostles are celebrating St. Patty's down at the bar? Count me in. By the way, have you given any more thought to what I said about maybe adding me as the 13th? You know, I just kind of feel like the 13th wheel whenever we all go out is all. Well that's cool, you keep thinking it over. Say, you gonna turn water into green Jello shooters like you did last year?"
Bible Fight
via
Bible Fight: You'll Probably Go To Hell For Playing This [albotas]
Feb 5 2008 LEGO Bible: The Brick Testament
Apparently The Brick Testament has been a work in progress for over six years, but I'd never been made aware of its existence before, so here it is. With over 3,600 scenes from the Bible, all the classics are illustrated in awesome LEGO detail. I looked through a bunch of them and was pretty impressed with the work. I tried to find the one where the Twelve Apostles were throwing a party but forgot the booze and Jesus had to turn Peter's swimming pool into Jello shooters, but I guess they haven't done that one yet.
A bunch more pictures and a link to the whole gallery after the walk on water.
