Jan 10 2009 Barack Obama To Star In Spider-Man Comic

Did you know Barack Obama collected Spider-Man comics? I didn't. But since he is such a big fan, Marvel artists have decided to feature Barack in a special inaugural issue.

Mr Obama's fan status was revealed by his campaign team, who released 10 little-known facts about the Democrat. "Right at the top of that list was he collected Spider-Man comics"

In the six-page story, an impostor poses as the new president on inauguration day in a dubious attempt to cop a ride in the new presidential limo. That's when Spidey has to swing in and bust the proverbial web.

When an imposter turns up, Spider-Man leaps into action, greeting Mr Obama with the words: "Hiya, prez-elect! Loved ya in the debates."

Hiya, prez-elect? Loved ya in the debates? WTF, Spiderman? Next time I think it's best if you just just keep your mouth closed. And also, the zipper of that costume -- I think I saw your Spidey-bits.

Obama to star in Spider-Man comic [bbcnews]

Thanks to Jennaiii and Canoboy, who are immune to spider bites because they were both bit by black widows in utero.

Jan 9 2009 New Presidential Limo Ready For Action Jan 20

CLICK HERE FOR FULL SIZE IMAGE

Remember the new presidential limo that Cadillac designed to be PEW PEW proof? Well it's been approved for use starting January 20th and is jam-packed with all kinds of exciting features like extra presidential blood (I'm not kidding) and 8-inch thick (me too, ladies) doors that weigh as much as a 757's cabin door. I thought it was funny the driver side window is the only one that goes down and even it only 3-inches (me too, ladies) to "pay a toll or talk with secret service agents running alongside". Pay a toll? Get freaking real! I know the picture is small, so click here to see the full size image and read all those little words. Then, read my lips: No. new. tickets. Seriously, I'm already driving on a suspended license. Shhhhhh!

Inside the Rocket-Proof Obamamobile [gizmodo]

Thanks to Pat and Vossk, who allegedly both banged hookers in the back of this thing while it was being built.

Nov 17 2008 Oooh, Nice Ride: The New Presidential Limo

General Motors, best known for their delicious line of breakfast cereals, has designed an all new presidential limo for when Barack Obama takes power next year. They were going to do it four years ago, but figured, f*** it, let's focus our efforts on going belly-up for awhile. Anyway, the car.

Most of the specs of this car are top secret, but a few tantalizing details are floating around, such as the five-inch-thick windows that are about half as transparent as regular glass and can stop projectiles from assault rifles, rocket-propelled grenades and high explosives. It's also said to be built of a combination of blast-proof ceramics and exotic metals, and certainly won't have a convertible top or sunroof. While GM's trying to make it look like a Cadillac DTS, it's based on the company's line of heavy-duty 2500 trucks.

Top secret specs my ass. I'll tell you all about this thing: It runs on a rocket engine powered by the tar-like blood of terrorists. It can also hover. Comes complete with dinosaur chauffeur who doubles as sexual masseuse should you hit rush-hour traffic. AM/FM radio. Four tires and spare donut in the trunk. Mini-bar. Wicked two-tone paintjob. Left and right turn signals. Bomb proof undercarriage. 7MPG city/13 highway. A real pussy magnet. I'm serious -- the CIA stole my blueprints.

Obama's new presidential limo is built like a tank, looks like a Cadillac [dvice]