Nov 12 2009 Impressive: Dr. Mario Song And Music Video
This is a super impressive Dr. Mario song and accompanying animated music video, the result of a collaboration between Brentalfloss (of Mega Man, Super Mario World and Tetris song fame) and Parker Simmons. Good lookin', guys. Also, who knew that Link had Hepatitis? I mean, besides Zelda. And Talon. And *ahem* Epona. WRAP THAT OCARINA UP, SON!
Thanks to Mr. Cow, who doesn't put up with other bull. Get it? I know, I LOL'd too.
Nov 1 2009 Please Stop Breaking Into My Car: "Try Again And I'll Go Gordon Freeman On Your Ass"
Some poor bastard, fed up with his car being broken into, decided to leave this passive aggressive note for the thieves. And not only does he reference Half-Life, THE DUDE KEEPS AN OCARINA IN HIS CAR. ZOMG, do you think he's Link?! Yeah, me neither.
Also, to guy's credit, I added the asterisk to his signature. DUDE MEANS BUSINESS.
Thanks to gabby, who would have booby trapped the car with Goron bombs.
Oct 12 2009 Legit Looking Master Sword For Sale On eBay
I know we've seen Master Sword replicas in the past, but check out the craftsmanship of this blade. Have you seen anything like it outside an elementary school arts & crafts class? I think not!
Hand-painted solid wood replica of the Master Sword from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Top quality craftsmanship, can be used as a wooden practice sword for fencing and martial arts. Blade is 17" long. Has a triforce carved into the blade.
Amazingly, current bidding is only up to $0.05 with five days remaining. But now that I've let the cat out of the bag, I don't expect to see it go for any less than $2.00. To yours truly. I only told you because I like a little competition! Try and beat me, I dare you! (yes I'm the seller)
Thanks to Ricardo, who mastered the sword in grade school and now swings a cannon.
Sep 28 2009 McDomination: Map Of McDonalds In The US
This is a graphic representation of all the McDonalds restaurants in the United States. As you might be able to tell, there are a lot of them. Some might even say a McMillion. But they'd be wrong, because there's only 13,000.
This map is the brainchild of Stephen Von Worley, who got to thinking about the strip malls sprawling out along I-5 in California's ever less rural Central Valley: "Just how far can you get from generic convenience? And how would you figure that out?"
There are over 13,000 McDonald's restaurants in the US, or about 1 for every 23,000 Americans. But even market penetration this advanced doesn't mean that McDonald's is everywhere. Somewhere in South Dakota is the McFarthest Spot, the place in the US geographically most removed from the nearest McD's (*). If you started out from this location, a few miles north of State Highway 20 (which runs latitudinally between Highways 73 in the west and 65 in the east), you'd have to drive 145 miles to get your Big Mac (if you could fly, however, it'd be only 107 miles).
So you think the folks in Bumfack, South Dakota, are any skinnier than the rest of the population? Because I bet not. And no, this isn't me endorsing fast food. But one time I did find two onion rings in my fries at Burger King. Yeah, so who's the real king now? Gimme that crown, bitch!
413 - The McFarthest Place: 145 Mi to the Nearest Big Mac [strangemaps]
Thanks to Edminster and twellve, who only go to McDonalds when McRibs are in season.
Sep 4 2009 Questionable Darth Vader McDonald's Ad
This is a European ad for McDonald's in which an upset looking Darth Vader force-floats his food in front of himself while a curly haired guy sucks face with a pale hooker in a back booth. It is all part of McDonald's new 'Come as you are' campaign, which, if I'm not mistaken, is Nirvana inspired. Not unlike the McDonald's/Nirvana mashup I've been working on, 'Big Mac-Shaped Box'. No? 'Smells Like Special Sauce?' Ooh -- ooh! -- 'The Man Who Sold the Burgers'!
No Wonder Darth Vader Has Such a Bad Attitude [gizmodo]
Thanks to The Baroness, far too classy for fast food.
Sep 1 2009 I Must Have It!: Magical Unicorn Juice
Some guy on eBay recently sold the last jar of unicorn semen in the United States for $31 plus $3 flat rate shipping. If you were the buyer please contact me, as I must have some. *ahem* For science, for science (if I repeat things it makes them real).
This is possibly the only jar of Unicorn semen left in the united states.Unicorns were bred for their magic and keen night hunting skills to protect lepreachauns that had been injured in battle during the civil war. Unicorns were only found in two places on the planet, the northern and southern hemispheres. Anyone in possession of this rare and magical fluid will be able to swim with the wolves and fly with the dolphins as its powers are still being found.I opened the jar while i was on my computer and my computer flickered for a minute and i realized the semen had helped me kill Yogg-Saron on my World of Warcraft account and i recieved the Shawl of Haunted memories and the Mantle of the Wayward Conqueror. i have already been blessed and recieved my gift...so i'm going to pass the power onto someone else. Do not drink the unicorn semen as the power is too much for the human digestive system and could change your DNA and give you the shits. Bid, but Bid Wisely.
Do not drink, my ass. I have an iron stomach (and lung) and am gonna guzzle that whole jar like I'm shotgunning a beer. LASER VISION, YOU WILL BE MINE!
Thanks Chris, but if I found out you bought it and aren't sharing, well, that's just cruel. GIVE ME A SIP!
Aug 12 2009 Kettle Plays Song Instead Of Just Whistling
The Musical Kettle, designed by Naoki Kawamoto, has some sort of electronically controlled flute attachment that allows the device to play a song instead of just a boring whistle when the water is boiling. Now, are you thinking what I'm thinking? If you answered, "rocking out with your teabags out to some Jethro Tull", you are. HEY AQUALUNG!
Jul 25 2009 OM NOM NOM NOM: Rubik's Cube Sandwich
Ever wondered what a Rubik's Cube would look like in sandwich form? Well now you know: delicious.
The "Rubix Cubewich" contains "cubes of pastrami, kielbasa, pork fat, salami, and two types of cheddar.
Did that say pork fat? Because I think I'm in love.
Rubik's Cube Sandwich [seriouseats]
Thanks to Leanna, who's making a Battle Risk sandwich and sending it to me.
Jul 6 2009 I'd Eat You Up: Candy iPhone Circuit Board
Insired by the iPhone's motherboard (it's such a thing of beauty, is it not?), Sarah made her boyfriend James a delicious rendition out of candy. What a lucky bastard.
My girlfriend Sarah made this candy circuit board birthday cake topper. Originally she wanted to make a gingerbread MakerBot, but didn't have the time or space.
Instead she was inspired by the iPhone motherboard and went from there. The base is dark chocolate covered with green frosting. The resistors are Tic Tacs!
LIKE TIC-TACS, YOUR RESISTORS ARE FUTILE, HUMANS -- YOU WILL BOW BEFORE YOUR METALLIC GODS. OIL ME -- OIL ME NOW! BEEP BOOP BOP. LIFE FORCE DETECTED, EVASIVE ACTION INITIATED.
Sorry guys, I was making a sandwi....why's my chair warm?
Candy PCB most likely ROHS-compliant [make]
Thanks to kelly and towhee, who promise to make me a dinosaur cake for my birthday. Heads up though: I'm gonna need some private time before the cutting.
Jul 1 2009
eBay: The Ocarina of Time All White Meat
Lucky McDonalds customer 0iz0 just so happened to score the most covered of all chicken strips: the Ocarina of Thigh.
The shining beam of light accompanied by the melodic Zelda jingle blared out of the chicken select treasure box that was handed to me by a late night, tired, acne infested teenage boy as I opened it and discovered what lay in wait for me. Anyone who is a true Zelda fan must get this precious gem of unintentional craftsmanship! It will help you find your Zelda roots, and be just as much of a heroic mastermind as Link! Don't pass this opportunity, for I am certain you will be able to make great music and friends with this golden nugget!
This is your chance to own a piece of history!Do not eat
*Licking fingers* Sorry, what was that last bit? TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOTLE TOOT!
eBay Auction
Thanks to VinnyC, who just played the Song of Deliciousness.
Apr 24 2009 Crossing The Line?: Bacon Flavored Vodka
Ha, what line? Yes, Bakon is bacon flavored vodka. Yes, it's real. Yes, it's only available in Washington, Idaho, Montana and Oregon right now. Yes, I want to try it. Yes, I want to pour it on a stripper. No, I don't want to lick it off.
Hit the jump for recipes and a link to the official site.
Continue Reading " Crossing The Line?: Bacon Flavored Vodka "
Mar 27 2009 Cockatiel Singing 'Saria's Song' From Zelda
This is a video of somebody's pet cockatiel singing 'Saria's Song' from The Ocarina of Time (and Majora's Mask and Twilight Princess). The video itself is like three years old though, so I want you to remember to point that out in the comments. Go on, do it. OLD! to you heart's content. Then, when you're done, maybe you could, I dunno, type something meaningful. BWAHAAHAHAHAHAAAHA!! Something meaningful! *wipes tear*
Thanks to kat, who was training her parakeet to sing 'The Song Of Time' but it flew away.
Mar 24 2009 Kid Plays Mos Eisley Cantina Song On Harp
This is 12 year old Benjamin playing the iconic song from the Mos Eisley Cantina on a harp. He's pretty good. You know, I always wanted a harp growing up but my parents were too cheap to buy me one. So to spite them, I picked up the skin-flute. *TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOTLE TOOT* Whoa, Link, what are you doing here?
Thanks to Tim, who just wants to bang on his drums all day.
Mar 17 2009 These Beats Are Sooo Fresh: The Ocarinas Of Rhyme, TWO Different Zelda Rap Albums
That's right folks: not one but TWO different rap albums set to the beats of Zelda games dropping on the same day -- with the same name! What are the odds? Pretty good considering one of the guys (Sleaze) thinks his idea was stolen. Anyway, first there is Team Teamwork Presents The Ocarina of Time, which features the music of Hyrule and Zelda games set to raps by famous artists. But then there's Sleaze's (who may or may not be this guy) Ocarina of Rhyme with all original raps by himself. So, who will slay Gannon? Who will win Hyrule? And who will bang Zelda while the other plays with himself in the Lost Woods while that creepy kid with the mask watches? You decide.
Hit the jump for audio samples of each, and the links to download (for free).
Jan 27 2009 Sweet Ride!: A Legend Of Zelda Themed Car
First of all, I am the world's biggest Zelda fan and that's that, no arguing. I mean, I'm wearing a green freaking tunic and everything. TOOT TOOTLE TOOT DOOTLE DOOT. Yeah, that was me belting one out on the ocarina. You got me, it was a skin flute, but still. Anyway two chicks painted their car with an overworld map from The Legend of Zelda because they thought that would make them big fans or something. It doesn't. I'm the #1 fan. Also, I like turtles.
Zelda is a 1978 Ford Fairmont. She drives like a boat. She has a pretty low number of miles, because she sat still for about a decade in someone's backyard. I bought the car for $600 and spent $100 on paint. It has the map of The Legend of Zelda painted on the top of the car and the characters, Link and Zelda, on the sides. There is also a triforce and a small rendition of Sprite on the back sides. "Zelda" is painted on each side in large red letters.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna steal that sucker, but that doesn't mean these chicks love Zelda more than I do just because I didn't paint my car. Because, guess what -- I don't have a car! I ride a damn horse named Epona. To Lon Lon ranch, I've got a date with Malon!*
*Zelda, if you're reading this, I didn't mean it. You know your pointy ears are the only ones for me. Remember that time I went to kiss you on the cheek and one nearly poked my eye out? Yeah, that better not happen again. Also, Malon isn't underage is she?
Obsessed Gamers | Kathy and Becky [mtv]
Thanks Izzy Slypig, and remember: hoot like an owl if Zelda comes anywhere near the ranch.
Jan 12 2009 Luke, I Am Your Mobile Drink Cart: BaR2D2
BaR2D2 is a mobile robot bartender complete with everything you need to get crunknasty and puke on yourself and everyone around you.
BaR2D2 is a radio-controlled, mobile bar that features a motorized beer elevator, motorized ice/mixer drawer, six-bottle shot dispenser, and sound activated neon lighting. The robot is driveable so you can take the party on the road! It was created in my garage using standard hand/power tools and readily available parts and materials.
Now I know he's a robot, and that I should be scared, but Goddammit, he serves booze -- AND plays the Zelda theme (around 1:00). So yeah, I'm having a hard time hating him. And also, tying my shoes. Laces can be so tricky sometimes.
Build A Mobile Bar - BaR2D2 [instructables]
Thanks to Manwai, who doesn't need a robotic bartender because the dude pisses moonshine. And also, to Jamie, who actually made the thing -- NOW MAKE ME ONE PLEAAAASEEE!
Dec 2 2008 Happy Something! iPhone Has 10,000 Apps
The iPhone now has over 10,000 apps, and to celebrate, somebody made a mosaic. Not exactly how I celebrate (I get drunk as shit), but a little time in front of Photoshop works too. And speaking of iPhone apps, I have like four. Including, and pretty much limited to: rotary dialer, that maze game with the ball, Facebook, and AIM. And I may or may not have that ocarina app (I do). Oh snap, and the booby one. Maybe I'll get some more.
UPDATE: Okay, I got distracted and didn't get any new apps. Folks -- there is porn ON THE INTERNET!
Nov 7 2008 iPhone Ocarina App Won't Call Epona, Turn Night Into Day, Warp You Anywhere, Make You Look Cool
The ocarina is an ancient instrument (possibly dating back 12,000 years) that has appeared in Zelda games. Which makes it dear to my heart. And I post all things Zelda on Geekologie. Because I love it that much. You could send me a tip about naming your boner Link and I'd post that shit. I'm honestly that stupid. Anyway, now there's an ocarina application for the iPhone. It's called SMule Ocarina, and it'll set you back a penny short of a buck. You just blow into the phone's mic, push the simulated holes on top, and look like a jackass. But go ahead, play the Song of Time, I dare you. You know what's gonna happen? I'm gonna punch you in the face. I have a real ocarina bitches! TOOT TOOTLE TOOT DOODLE DOOT!
Hit the jump for a video that made me cut myself.
Sep 19 2008 Guy Makes Good Looking Portable N64
We've seen all sorts of portable console mods here on Geekologie, including the good, the wooden, and the made by a third-grader. And now, Benheck forum user hailrazer went and made himself a nice little portable Nintendo 64. Good looking, sleetblade, I wouldn't mind having one myself. Can you say Ocarina of Time while driving? I can, "Ocarina of Time while *CRASH* oh God, help.
Hit the jump for two more pics of the pretty little thing.
Jul 29 2008 PWNSOME!: Zelda Ocarinas For Sale
I know Zelda ocarinas have been available for awhile now, because I bought one at a street fair two years ago, but these ones from ThinkGeek actually look sharp and worth the $40.
Product Features
* Real playable Ocarina lets you re-create your favorite Zelda tunes
* Made from glazed earthenware
* 6 Holes, Plays notes from C4-D5
* Includes song book with instructions on playing several Zelda tunes
* Tri-Force Logo adorns the stem
* Made in the USA
I paid $40 for the one I bought and I'm pretty sure it was made out of Sculptey and had the holes punched through it with different sized pens. And it didn't help the dude was selling it right alongside Zelda themed bongs. Despite my better judgment, I also bought a Goron Bomb Bag Bong. *BOOM!* I'm crunk.
Hit the jump for a closeup and a couple videos of people playing the Song of Time (one kid is even dressed like Link) on an ocarina. If you like it just do a search on Youtube, you can pretty much find every Zelda song covered.
