Because eyes are the windows to the soul but the mouth is where I put all the tacos and Fruit Roll-Ups, Swedish makeup pro Sandra Holmbom decided to combine the two and paint this eyeball on her lips. My cat actually licked my eyeball once, I thought it was going to shrivel u... / Continue →

Picture related: worst f***ing nightmare. 45-year-old Marek Olszewski went to visit his dentist ex for a procedure just a couple days after breaking up with her FOR ANOTHER WOMAN and, in a move that proves hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, she put him under and yanked EV... / Continue →

Because Japan is literally millennia ahead in the realm of WTF'ery, dentists in the country are now offering 'Yaeba' cosmetic treatments, a dental procedure that makes a girl's teeth appear wonky and (obviously) more desirable. But how do they feel about lazy eyes? Yaeba mean... / Continue →

Damn what I wouldn't give for chest hair like that. According a recent study, oral sex may be causing more cases of throat cancer that smoking, all thanks to HPV (human papillomavirus). Ha -- and people wonder why I'm afraid to engage in any sexual behavior! Kidding, it's be... / Continue →

Seen here looking way too much like a gaping b-hole to not be made out of a pig's rectum (just like hotdogs!), a robotic mouth (NOT armpit) developed at Kagawa University in (you'll never guess!) Japan belts out a ditty for the camera. It's the latest incarnation of this same ... / Continue →

Seen here beckoning your wiener to an untimely dismemberment, robotic dental patient Showa Hanako 2 (Showa Hanako 1 here) opens wide for the camera. Now quick -- toss a stick of dynamite in there and duck behind the x-ray shield! ...this humanoid was originally developed last... / Continue →

Probably should've practiced in the mirror longer. A 22-year old who was impersonating Professor Zoidberg from Futurama got his nose broken and teeth chipped after being punched in the face by a man who obviously hates cartoons. Whatever, I roundhoused a guy for doing a prett... / Continue →

Awh snap son -- is that peridot? August birthdays FTW! A New Orleans man was accidentally shot in the mouth (I suspect a pistol-whip gone wrong) by his brother after smoking his weed without asking (which, admittedly, is a pistol-whip worthy offense), but the bullet ricochete... / Continue →

All my teeth have already rotted out because I pass out drunk on the floor somewhere between the kitchen and living room every night without brushing, but that's just part of what makes me so dreamy. Plus I save like $6 a year on floss! But for those of you who still have mol... / Continue →

First panda lips, now Pikachu. What's next? SPOILER: GW working overtime to blast off this planet. Now I know what you're thinking, but no, she won't shock your balls off. And not just because no girl in her right mind (which none are, amirite?!!!!!!11) would ever even CONS... / Continue →

So is there like a national title-writing competition or something? I think I could place. Seen here looking suspiciously like Satan's fiery turds, the Naga Viper was recently named the world's hottest chili pepper after beating out the previous hottest, Bhut Jolokia, by over... / Continue →

Remember the scene (that I so lovingly screencapped) from Willy Wonka where Wonka shows those ungrateful little turds the gum that has a three-course meal packed inside? Well apparently a non-nutritive version of the gum is on it's way. Damn girl, your breath be kickin'. *s... / Continue →

Nintendogs is a Nintendo DS game intended for children whose parents won't get them a real dog. Unfortunately, the game is NOT intended for children who have friends who have real dogs that will bite your lip off if they hear your DS barking. And you wonder why I'm afraid to ... / Continue →

Neil Caldwell has developed a way to dye bacon so it looks like a unicorn just threw up next to your pancakes. Unfortunately, he won't say how it's done. But from the look of things it involves unholy amounts of peen-shrinking Yellow #5. Love that stuff. The doctor said if ... / Continue →

Note: Video is after the jump because I don't want your children getting any bright ideas. This is a video of a little kid getting a tooth pulled via model rocket. His dad definitely deserves a parenting award. You know, or an anonymous call to child services. Now not to br... / Continue →

Zombie jerky: sounds delicious, doesn't it? No, it doesn't. I actually just puked through the gap in my front teeth at the mere thought of gnawing pre-rotted flesh. *BLAAH* Ooh -- still going. "Zombie Meat," an exquisite new Japanese snack for the horror enthusiast, consist... / Continue →

This is a robotic mouth created to help the hearing impaired learn to articulate their speech better. It's a learning tool. One I just set on fire and kicked down the stairs. To enable the robot's speaking abilities, engineers at Japan's Kagawa University used an air pump, ... / Continue →

WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD DO NOT PUT LEGO PIECES IN YOUR MOUTH UNLESS YOU LOVE DELICIOUS THINGS. This is a segment from some German variety show in which a unisexual teen identifies LEGO Star Wars minifigs be swishing them around in his/her mouth for a little while. Unfortunate... / Continue →

Wiiwaa is a new Wii game that comes with a stuffed animal peripheral. Basically you put a Wiimote (NOT YOUR PENIS) in its mouth and then dry hump it from behind like there's no tomorrow. Because there might not be. Don't believe me? Hit the jump for a video of Weewoo in act... / Continue →

NOTE: Video probably NSFW due to language (watch with headphones on. Also, a novelty t-shirt). I don't even know what to say about this except I kind of liked it and it really made me want to do something similar. Provided something similar is play Zelda: Spirit Tracks unt... / Continue →