Don't worry, I just punched myself in the neck for that whole 'you glow girl' thing. I deserved it. And probably much worse. Because we live in the future, and the future shines like the lens flare in a new Star Trek movie, Mattel is releasing a $50(!) Barbie with an interac... / Continue →

This a Barbie modded with clay and painted by the Introverted Wife to look like a female Commander Shepard from Mass Effect. Now, I know what you're thinking: "I could do sooooo much better." But that's just because you're a rude @$$hole. I thought Shepard is looking pretty... / Continue →

Ugh, of course they release it right AFTER Christmas. This is a $100 Steve Jobs action figure. The company that's making it is billing it as "ultra-realistic" but I can almost guarantee Steve's wrists DID NOT look like that in real life. That said, I'd still play with one. ... / Continue →

Note: There are two videos after the jump. The first one you can watch. The second one FEATURES REAL-LIFE MOM-NIPS AND SHOULD BE CONSIDERED NSFW unless you're one of those women that'll whip a tit out in a restaurant cause you don't give a f*** if I stare or not (I'm going to... / Continue →

Barbie Video Girl is a new $50 doll with integrated video camera so girls can make movies of themselves playing in their bedrooms from Barbie's point of view. This is going to end badly. You dun goofed, Mattel! The Barbie Video Girl Doll ($50, Mattel, for ages 6 and up) look... / Continue →

Barbie (I like to call her Barb) is always being criticized for providing an unrealistic role model for little girls. Well here's a better one (complete with sweet-ass nips). Because REAL beauty is only skin deep eight pies and a box of fried chicken away. ... ... ...Anybody ... / Continue →

Maddie Chambers went and built herself a super impressive looking Bag End hobbit hole dollhouse. It's amazing. I posted a couple more pictures after the jump, but Maddie has between two and three billion on her website which you should go check out to see the whole thing. My... / Continue →

NOTE: Video of golden shower action is after the jump. Baby Wee Wee is not only gonna get made fun of and beat up later in life because his parents can't name a child for shit, but he's also got a robotic pecker. That actually pees if you tickle him or something. I dunno, bu... / Continue →

This is a reproduction of Eleanor Lamb's Big Daddy doll from Bioshock 2. They're available for around $20 and look just like the real thing. Unfortunately, this is one doll that's not suitable for children (NSFC), and only recommended for collectors ages 14+. You know, becaus... / Continue →

It was only a matter of time before somebody realized what a cash cow a baby doll Wiimote peripheral would be. Cover your daughter's eyes, it's Baby and Me! Baby and Me comes with a doll, but not just any doll. This doll features a slot for the Wii remote so that the game can... / Continue →

Yes, Barbie Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken is really happening. If you're interested, the dapper doucheberry will be available in April 2010 for $82. If you're not interested, congratulations: we can still be friends. Cool sophistication in breezy Palm Beach! Sporting a dashing ... / Continue →

Not a real one, silly! You'd have to have a freaking giant computer (or tiny family) for that to happen. What is this, the 50's? No, cause sexual harassment didn't exist back then. Back me up, Mad Men. I love you, Don! I thought that latest cigarette ad campaign of yours ... / Continue →

You see that doll there? Her name's Gwen, and she's the latest release from the American Girl company. Plus, she's homeless. WTF!? Where's her 1991 Chicago Bull's NBA Championship shirt and mix-matched shoes? For $95 -- more than your average homeless person would dream of... / Continue →

These pole dancing dolls are real products despite everything you know about life telling you they shouldn't be. I'll tell you one thing: no daughter of mine is playing with a damn stripper doll. I'm looking right at you, Barbie. Hussy! Product features: style interesti... / Continue →

A bunch of Mighty Mugg vinyl dolls are being customized into Star Wars characters and auctioned off to raise money for the Make-A-Wish foundation. *sniff* Almost brings a tear to my eye. Almost. Thankfully I was able to punch back the tears. All man, baby. (I'm gonna need a... / Continue →

Why didn't we have cool toys like this when I was growing up? I only had one toy. And now I have wolf palm and bottle-cap glasses. Look out! Here come the Extreme Radio-Controlled Southern Belles! [dvice] Thanks to whoever sent me this last week, hit me up again and I'll gi... / Continue →

Mattel's new 'Totally Stylin' Barbie doll comes with a bunch of sticker tattoos you can apply all over her forehead and neck to make her look way more totally stylin'. Make her a little R2-D2 backpack and that is one fine piece of plastic ass (note to self: verify Barbie's age... / Continue →

This 1/6 scale Joker figure from Hot Toys' 'Movie Masterpiece Deluxe' line only stands a foot tall but is super-realistic, including moving, semi-translucent eyes. The figurine comes with two heads (one with Joker make-up, see after the jump), several different outfits, and in... / Continue →

Apparently Mattel and Nickelodeon rolled out an image of a new "tween" Dora the Explorer last week and a lot of soccer moms are super pissed she's not the chubby little midriff-flashing five year-old she used to be. So Nickelodeon had to fire back. "I think there was just a m... / Continue →

This is a Wolverine punching bag. I bought one for my son. Blowing it up was my first homosexual experience. But it won't be my last. R Rated Gadgets: Wolverine Blow Up Toy [walyou]... / Continue →