Nov 21 2009 Best Idea EVER: Cats For Gold
Trading in worthless gold for cats: 14K genius. Say -- can I see that ring?
Thanks to catsforgold, Seth, Alex and mary91, who, hey what happened to my necklace? Oh that's right I TURNED IT INTO CATS.
Nov 21 2009 Old Dog, New Tricks: Dog Playing Tony Hawk
You know the new Tony Hawk: Ride game that comes with a skateboard peripheral? This is a dog playing it -- and he's pretty good (except the 360 was obviously FAAAAKE). Which brings up an interesting question -- what is it with bulldogs and skateboarding? They love that shit for some reason. If I was a bulldog I would just lay in the sun and lick myself.
Nov 21 2009 Huh?: "Plane Misses Runway, Lands In Lava"
A passenger plane headed for an airport in eastern Congo overshot the runway (spider solitaire) and ended up crash-landing in lava. Wicked! Of course, I'm making this cooler than it actually was because it wasn't molten lava and it wasn't in the middle of a volcano. Truthfully, I don't even know why I'm reporting this besides 1. I'm awesome and B. journalism.
The plane was flying from Kinshasa to Goma, and passengers had warned the crew that there were heavy clouds, Radio Okapi said.
An official from the U.N. mission in Congo, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he does not have permission to speak with media, said there were 117 passengers aboard.
Thankfully, nobody was injured. Oh -- and I love how people that don't have permission to speak are always speaking. Such rule-breakers! Now, not to honk my own bike horn or anything, but crash landing an airplane in lava isn't that impressive. Because one time I docked my pirate ship in the middle of an earthquake. Seriously, right in the middle. The epicenter. I know the terminology, it happened.
Plane misses runway, lands in lava [msnbc]
Thanks to iceman, who would have cooled the lava with his superpowers and made an ice skating rink.
Nov 21 2009
Food For Thought Your Feet: Bread Shoes
They're slippers. They're made out of bread. You can wear them then eat them. But you won't, because that's disgusting. I jest, knowing you you probably will. Freak. Just remember to take them off first.
Martynas Birskys of the Vilnius-based design studio DaDaDa sells slippers made out of bread. For your comfort, you can select from various sizes and grains. It's hard to argue with his sales pitch "eatable...dries itself... made from bread...first in fashion...needs no pressing...feels good in dry climate ...won't sag."
Tipster crystal noted these would probably go great with a little -- wait for it -- wait for it -- toe jam. I get it! I get it! you're trying to steal my job.
Bread Shoes [neatorama]
Thanks crystal, BUT I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU.
Nov 20 2009 Google: Perfect For Searching AND Wiping
Google toilet paper: made with 100% virgin pulp and available in Vietnam. Per a questionable translation of the text on the bag: "Very long, soft, smooth. Of high vacuum, because you always!" HIGH VACUUM, OF COURSE I ALWAYS! Dingleberry free, just sayin'.
This Google's made from 100% Virgin pulp, not chrome [engadget]
Thanks to wes, who only wipes with Charmin because the dude's a bear.
Nov 20 2009 NSFW NSFW: WTF DID I JUST WATCH?! SERIOUSLY, W.T.F. DID I JUST WATCH?!
WARNING: NSFW VIDEO IS NSFW
This is the highly, highly, HIGHLY NSFW music video for the Flair's 'Truckers Delight'. I can't even begin to describe to you how dirty I felt after watching it. Unless you've ever swam in pig shit and then showered in vomit afterward. In which case, Jesus, join another pool.
Thanks Smee and Kaerus, I'll split my therapist's bills between the two of you.
Nov 20 2009 They're All The Rage: On/Off Head Switches
Want to look like you're a cyborg or some shit? I couldn't imagine why (unless you want me to brain you with a crowbar), but if you do, just glue an on/off switch to the back of your head like Dominic Wilcox did. But, WARNING: your hats won't fit the same! Neat idea, Dominic, but this is exactly the kind of thing that'll get you killed if you roll with the crew that I do. THAT SAID, I JUST I JUST HOOKED MYSELF UP WITH A VOLUME KNOB. WHAT? OH SORRY -- SOMEBODY TURNED ME UP TO 11!!
Hit the jump for a picture of the installation process.
Continue Reading " They're All The Rage: On/Off Head Switches "
Nov 20 2009 Holy Grail? You Decide: A Bacon Chalice
I can't even imagine weaving bacon so tight as to not let liquid (well, molten cheese) through, but apparently somebody did. My hat oven mitts are off to you, bacon mug maker. Cause one time I tried weaving bacon and it didn't even make a solid placemat. It did, however, make a solid after-school snack. Kidding, I'm vegetarian. Did you feel that? That was your head imploding.
Bacon Beer Mug [thisisfreakingridiculous]
Thanks to Profound, mike469x, Dominican Joe, Freedom and KilgoreTrout XL, one of which is Kurt Vonnegut's plus-size alter-ego, the other three of which are fighting over who gets to eat the cup.
Nov 20 2009 For The Dapper Dog: Humunga Staches
The Humunga Stache is a $12 piece of molded rubber. One side's a ball, and the other is giant freaking mustache. So when your dog bites the ball, guess what happens! (Hint: you take pictures and post them Facebook with clever captions).
Add some low-cost laughs to your frequent frolics with Fido! This shiny black toy is a ball on one end, and a giant cartoon mustache on the other. Dogs naturally pick up the ball...which leaves the outrageously funny mustache sticking out! Dogs also love to hold the ball in their mouth, and shake the mustache back and forth!
Not a bad idea. Of course, my dog would just chew up the whole damn thing. You see, she's a bitch. And, based on those tits in the pic, so is Fido. Animal cruelty!
Product Site
via
Humunga Stache [likecool]
Thanks to Niki, whose bitch has a real mustache and moonlights as a carny.
Nov 20 2009 Whaaat?: Sand People Like Scooby Snacks?
In a mash-up of universes that's about to make my head explode, it turns out Tusken Raiders love Scooby Snacks. And speaking of which -- I'd like to see Scoob and the gang try pulling THAT dude's mask off. Ruh-roh is right -- you gonna die!
Sand People like Scooby Snacks [tk8247's deviantart]
Thanks to sham, who only tried Bantha fodder once and didn't like it.
