Geekologie - Gadgets, Gizmos, and Awesome

Geekologie - Gadgets, Gizmos, and Awesome tag:geekologie.com,2013://1 2013-05-17T21:17:58Z Movable Type Pro 4.38 Video Compilation Of Crazy Ways To Open Beer Bottles tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13425 2013-05-17T21:30:16Z 2013-05-17T21:17:58Z

Because it's the weekend before Memorial Day weekend, here's a compilation video of unusual ways to open beer bottles. Maybe you'll learn something you can use to impress your friends next weekend while you're all getting drunk and grilling or whatever the hell people with friends do on Memorial Day. Sadly, I lost my last friend over a year ago. "To drugs?" No, to being an @$$hole. But enough about that dickbag, we're here to talk about beer. I like opening my bottles the way I imagine farmers kill chickens: cutting their heads off with a ninja sword then drinking the blood to ensure a bountiful fall harvest. Can you tell I was home sick on farm field trip day? Sucks too because a kid on the bus told me they witnessed a goat orgy and our teacher was freaking out about it and the farmer was all, "Aw miss, they's just bonin'." Hit the jump for the happiest hour in action.]]> Thanks to Ram, who opens his beers the way nature intended: with his horns.]]> Cool: Motorcycle Helmet With Attached Skull Mask tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13424 2013-05-17T20:30:54Z 2013-05-17T20:22:18Z

This is the motorcycle helmet with an attached skull mask worn by an unknown biker attending the Harley Davidson National Rally in China. You should get totally one, that way everybody thinks you're Ghost Rider. Well, at least the people who can't tell a motorcycle from your electric scooter anyways. Thanks to my buddy Terry, who always encourages me to ride my bicycle fast and recklessly without a helmet because he's a firm believer I belong in a different world.]]> Craigslist Girl Seeks Robb Stark Look-alike For Game Of Thrones Sex Fantasy (May Contain Spoilers) tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13423 2013-05-17T19:00:26Z 2013-05-17T19:11:39Z

WARNING: Ad may contain spoilers. This is the allegedly real casual encounters Craigslist ad from a lady in New Orleans who's looking for a Robb Stark look-alike to have her way with as Daenerys Stormborn Targaryen. Allegedly she has a replica of the Iron Throne too, which I find hard to believe because those things cost $30,000. Who knows, maybe she had a friend make one out of melted plastic swords from Toys R' Us. But that's not the point, the point is that one of you better look like Robb Stark and contact this woman to make this whole fantasy happen. Preferably with a Go-Pro camera strapped to your noggin. Thanks to T8RO & Busty McGee, who have cool nicknames and should give me a cool nickname too and let me be part of their crew.]]> The Post-Punk/New Wave Super Friends: Musical Artists As Superhero Comic Book Covers tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13422 2013-05-17T18:30:51Z 2013-05-17T18:58:50Z

This is a series of comic book covers designed by Brazilian artist Butcher Billy reimagining post-punk/new wave musical artists as superheroes. The Billy Idol one is my favorite and not just because I have a thing for Aquaman, or that riding a giant seahorse would be cool, but because Billy Idol flipped me off at a concert once. It was at The Who concert in DC in and they were performing the rock opera Quadrophenia and Billy Idol came out as a special guest dressed as a bellhop at the beginning of the song 'Bell Boy' and he scanned the audience, we locked eyes, and he flipped me off, presumably because he could see into my soul and didn't like what he saw. Then they all broke into 'White Wedding', making it the greatest night of my life. Hit the jump for a bunch more including Morrissey of The Smiths and Robert Smith of The Cure.]]>

Thanks to Fally and PYY, who know good music when they hear it and neither was impressed with my singing in the shower demo tape. Come on -- not even the part where you could hear me slip and fall?]]> The Ocean's Calling: Seashell iPhone Speaker Amplifiers tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13421 2013-05-17T17:00:28Z 2013-05-17T18:28:46Z

These are the $75 conch shell iPhone speaker amplifiers sold by WAAM Industries. You've got to admit, that's a pretty clever idea. Of course if you don't have $75 you could probably make your own after a trip to a beach gift shop to pick up a conch shell. Just get me a pet hermit crab while you're there. One with a shell painted like a lady bug. No -- the Bat-symbol. Hit the jump for a couple more shots in case you're not sure where to drill with the Dremel. ]]>

Thanks to Ben, who's afraid of listening to the ocean in shell because you never know if there's gonna be an ear-eating crab in there just waiting for a meal.]]> I'd Play Space With Him: Buzz Lightyear Imagined IRL tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13420 2013-05-17T16:00:31Z 2013-05-17T16:13:37Z

This is a shot of Toy Story's Buzz Lightyear imagined in real life by DeviantARTist DanLuVisiArt (follow the link for a story the artist made up about Buzz that's really touching). He looks like a pretty cool dude. Also, kind of like John Hamm, who's seen me stall my car trying to pull out of a parking space before. Which, for the record, never would have happened if I hadn't seen him standing there. I got nervous, like trying to pee with a breathtakingly handsome man watching. Thanks to Cammie, who said something entirely inappropriate about what she'd do to Buzz which I can't even repeat here, but yes, it did involve a jetpack.]]> Smooth Criminals: Thieves Ass-Dial 911, Get Busted tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13419 2013-05-17T15:30:39Z 2013-05-17T15:41:55Z

20-year old failures Nathan Teklemariam and Carson Rinehart were arrested after accidentally butt-dialing 911 during a car burglary spree. That...is a really unfortunate butt-dial (and I know a guy who called his girlfriend while he was making out with...

When the 9-1-1 operator got the call it seemed to be the wrong number, but instead of hanging up, he continued to listen, according to audio obtained by KGPE-TV on Wednesday. "I just want to smoke weed so bad right now," one suspect says. As the operator continues to listen over the next 35 minutes, the suspects can be heard breaking into a car to find prescription drugs. "They're Norcos, yeee-ahh!" the suspect exclaims. "We'll go back and search in a little bit and search the whole thing. But we'll park far away, you know?" After listening to the men speak, the operator is able to determine the men's approximate location and dispatches an officer. "He's right fucking behind me, dude," the suspect notes. "Oh, he's following me, Dog!"

First of all, leaving narcotics (or anything else that would tempt a burglar) in your car is a bad idea. Secondly, how much you want to bet these two jokers don't learn their lesson and wind up continuing their downward spiral? Because I can totally see these too tripping and knocking themselves out during a convenience store robbery. Eventually, they'll wind up incarcerated, spending the rest of their days butt-dialing P for penis. Thanks to MonkeyswithGuns, which sounds frightening but would probably make a pretty cool movie.]]> I Didn't Get Cast: Star Trek As A Middle School Musical tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13418 2013-05-17T14:30:46Z 2013-05-17T14:34:16Z

This is another video from Rhett and Link featuring a handful of children performing a Star Trek themed middle school musical. Personally, I never participated in middle school musicals because, come on, that's not what the cool kids were into. "You were never cast, were you?" Man, they wouldn't even let me help build the sets. My little sister is always bragging about how she's better than me because she keeps getting cast as the lead which is why I boo the entire time and throw poison ivy instead of roses. Hit the jump for the video.]]> Thanks to E V I L A R E S, who's so evil he lurks on the catwalks above trying to drop lights on the actors during plays. And to Lindi, a regular patron of the arts.]]> Main 'Pacific Rim' Trailer: Natural Enemies Robots and Monsters Continue Dispute tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13417 2013-05-17T00:53:39Z 2013-05-17T00:54:27Z

Guillermo del Toro's Pacific Rim continues to be exactly what its premise suggests with even more footage of giant robots fighting giant monsters. If that sounds like something you'd like to see for yourself, have a look below at the new "official main trailer." If not, know that you're missing out on this big-ass metal dude all like BOOOOOSH in this idiot monster's face.]]> Pretty Dismal: What The New York City Skyline Would Look Like On The Other Planets Of Our Solar System tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13416 2013-05-16T21:30:41Z 2013-05-16T21:21:58Z

This is a series of artistic renderings imagining what the New York City skyline would look like if it existed in the atmospheres of the other planets in our solar system. I put them in order from closest to furthest from the sun, but in case you forgot, that's: MERCURY, VENUS, EARTH, MARS, JUPITER, SATURN, URANUS, NEPTUNE It's easy to remember because the first letter of each planet forms the word MVEMJSUN, and SUN is the name of our star and MVEMJ is...I don't know what the hell MVEMJ is. It would make a terrible name for a band though, I can tell you that. Also, I know what you're thinking, and I'm with you -- I think it's time we accept Pluto is no longer a planet and let it go. All this time hoping something would change has been like peeling a Band-Aid off in slow-motion, and we can't keep doing that to ourselves. "I agree, it's time to move on." Why you filthy little traitor! THAT WAS A TEST AND YOU FAILED. Thanks to ChaosLex, who, for two tips in a row, makes him today's gold star sticker recipient. Please come to the front of the class to claim your prize and feel free to smack any of the other students in the back of their heads on your way.]]> Real Life Minecraft Creeper Rides Vegas Roller Coaster tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13415 2013-05-16T20:00:40Z 2013-05-16T20:53:16Z

These are the shots of some Minecraft Creeper riding the roller coaster at the New York-New York Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. There's not really much else to say except acknowledge you and I both are jealous we didn't think of it first. Personally, I always try to fake puke by spitting soda whenever the camera takes my picture on roller coasters. Then I don't even buy the print, just take a picture of the preview screen with my phone like a normal person. If I ever for-real puked though -- that picture I would buy and make into Christmas cards. They'll read, 'Season's Heavings from the GW and his lunch!' Thanks to ChaosLex, who loves chaos so much he always yells, "HOLY SHIT, THE TRACK IS OUT!" right before the first drop on a coaster.]]> The Oldest Water Found On Earth Is 2.6-Billion Years Old tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13414 2013-05-16T19:00:37Z 2013-05-16T19:01:43Z

Scientists analyzing a two-mile deep mine in Ontario, Canada have discovered what is currently the oldest water known to date, at 2.6-billion years old. "Pfft, that's nothing." METHUSELAH YOU STAY OUT OF THIS. The scientists analyzed water they found...

The scientists analyzed water they found 2 miles (2.4 km) deep. They focused on noble gases such as helium, neon, argon and xenon. Past studies analyzing bubbles of air trapped within ancient rocks found that these rare gases could occur in distinct ratios linked with certain eras of Earth's history. As such, by analyzing the ratios of noble gases seen in this water, the researchers could deduce the age of the water. The finding, announced in the May 16 issue of the journal Nature, raises the tantalizing possibility that ancient life might be found deep underground not only within Earth, but in similar oases that may exist on Mars, the scientists who studied the water said.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? We bottle it and sell it to rich people for like $600/bottle! I don't know, print something on the side about anti-aging properties -- women love hearing that. And something about a bigger, firmer erection -- men AND women love hearing that. Hell, sometimes I just lay around repeating it to myself like it's some sort of magic boner spell. It's not though, you have to drink our water to get one. Thanks to Jaucet, who will insists he'll stick to drinking filtered water from the faucet like a normal person who doesn't care about staying perpetually young looking or rocking a boner the size of a bar stool. Your loss, man.]]> Dead Man Rises From Coffin, Mourners Flee Funeral tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13413 2013-05-16T18:00:30Z 2013-05-16T18:37:41Z

Note: Picture relatively unrelated but still from one of the best games ever made. Funeral goers in Zimbabwe were sent scattering after a man believed to be dead for a day started moving around in his coffin. Turns out...

Note: Picture relatively unrelated but still from one of the best games ever made. Funeral goers in Zimbabwe were sent scattering after a man believed to be dead for a day started moving around in his coffin. Turns out he wasn't dead after all, just MOSTLY dead. *cue Miracle Max making one of those chocolate-covered revival balls*

Brighton Dama Zanthe, 34, was being laid to rest inside a coffin last Monday after he apparently died at his home following a long illness. But the next day Mr Zanthe's friends and relatives scattered in disbelief when he started moving as they filed past to say their emotional goodbyes. 'At first I could not believe my eyes but later realised that there was indeed some movements on the body as other mourners retreated in disbelief.' The Herald, which is owned by Zimbabwe's government, reported that Mr Zanthe spent two days on life support after being rushed to the Gweru Provincial Hospital following the incident. He was discharged last week and has since returned home.

This reminds me of an old joke about asking a guy what he hopes people say about him at his funeral. And the dude says he'd really like somebody to say, "Look, he's moving!" You know, because then he wouldn't really be dead. Me? I already know what I want someone to say at my funeral: Of all the souls I've encountered in my travels, his was the most...human. "You stole that from Spock's funeral scene in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan!" What? That shit doesn't happen till 2285, Captain Kirk stole it from me. Thanks to Rev Dr Dom, who informed me he wants his casket to be filled with ice-cold beer and everybody has to chug one when they come by for the viewing.]]> 32-Game X-Box Disc Changing Carousel Made From LEGO tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13412 2013-05-16T17:00:52Z 2013-05-16T18:21:52Z

This is the 32-disc X-Box carousel made entirely out of LEGO by Youtuber zwenkka. It can remove a game disc from the console and replace it with any of 31 others (selected via Bluetooth) in an average of 42-seconds. Which, let's not kid ourselves, is still way quicker than it would take to convince yourself to get off the f***ing sofa and do it by hand. Hell, it could take ten minutes and it would still be worth it. Do you know how long I have to call myself a lazy waste of life before I'll actually get off the couch and do something? Try two and a half hours. I've literally been banned from every pizza delivery place in town. Hit the jump for a video of the impressiveness.]]> Thanks to MindBender, who actually started with spoons and worked his way up to minds.]]> I Don't Get It: Giant Yellow Banana Shaped Pool Table tag:geekologie.com,2013://1.13411 2013-05-16T16:00:00Z 2013-05-16T16:09:26Z

Because 'Why not?' seems to be just as good a reason as any these days, here's the giant yellow banana shaped pool table created by artist Cléon Daniel. I think we can all agree this piece does NOT carry any sort of social or political commentary. Or does it? Underpaid banana pickers are forced to live in poverty while the bigwigs at Chiquita play pool and smoke expensive cigars? DUM DUM DUM! I should have been a conspiracy theorist. Except that's not actually a conspiracy, that's just true. Hit the jump from one more shot.]]> Thanks to Jenz, who's holding out for a pineapple shaped pool table because that would make way more sense.]]>