Geekologie - Gadgets, Gizmos, and Awesome

Culinary Masterpiece: A Taco Bell Cheesy Double Beef Burrito Stuffed Sausage Log

2010-02-09T21:45:59Z

Some guy went and stuffed a sausage roll with a Cheesy Double Beef Burrito from Taco Bell. Sure it's grade D (for delicious) meat, but, wait -- where's the bacon wrap? Pfft, and I almost called you a genius. Taco Bell Stuffed Sausage [epicportions] Thanks to Jessica, who once stuffed a burrito with four kinds of bacon. Four kinds?! Was one of them Canadian?

Michael Jackson Commemorative Hard Drive

2010-02-09T20:45:50Z

Available February 24th for a scant $123, this commemorative Michael Jackson "This is It" hard drive is a monster piece of how the hell did this ever become a real product? And to think I couldn't find a single manufacturer willing to roll out my line of Geekologie laptops. I dunno, something about the 1.21 jiggawatts processor. Amateurs.

Under the hood, you get a S2 Portable HXMU050DA, with 500 GB capacity on USB 2.0. Oh, and a DRM locked copy of This Is It. Don't worry, you'll also get a little voucher with the activation code you need to watch it. Heaven help you if you want to burn it to a DVD to watch anywhere other than on your computer.

Who the hell would ever buy that? I know people love Michael Jackson and all, but still, You gotta draw the line somewhere. And that line should be right after MJ bobble heads. "This is It" Commemorative Hard Drive [crunchgear] Thanks to Van, who was shocked to find out it doesn't come preloaded with the boys section of a JC Penny catalog. WOCKA WOCKA WOCKA!

Print Them Out!: Star Wars Valentine's Cards

2010-02-09T19:45:39Z

This is a little gallery of Star Wars Valentines created by freelance illustrator James Stowe. He made one for each episode of Star Wars, so there are six in total. I particularly liked this one and the Han Solo/Greedo one, but they're all pretty cute. Per the artist himself:

I wanted to show you some valentines I made for my son's kindergarden class this year. He likes old Peanuts comicstrips and Star Wars... so these are kind of a mix of both.

Oh man, these bring back memories. I remember in Mrs. Cox's third grade class we each took a paper lunch bag and decorated them with hearts and cupids and then taped them to the front of our desks to accept Valentines. I didn't get any. Not a single one -- not even from the teacher. And that, my friends, is why I'm a serial killer. Hit the jump for the other five and another link to James' website.]]> Star War Valentines 2010 [jamesstowe] Thanks to sham and James himself, whose bags ripped they got so many Valentines. I hate you.

Star Trek: The Sexed Generation

2010-02-09T18:45:56Z

This is an older compilation of Star Trek clips that, out of context, sound incredibly sexual. Actually, in context they sound super sexual too. Yay, freaky space-sex. RED ROCKET RED ROCKET!

This is an expansion of a short set of clips that Gene Roddenberry had put together after the second season, that set was just about 2 minutes and mostly bloopers, but the few suggestive shots were enough to make me wonder what a full version would look like, so enjoy!

Oh man, that was hot. Granted not as hot as my laptop's heat exhaust, but I'm tryin' to cook my meat. Which, medium-rare -- anybody? Youtube Thanks to Jacob and oysterboy, who can only communicate in the language of love. You should've read their tips, I swooned!

But What's He Competing In?: Newspaper Reports Pedobear Is Going To The Olympics

2010-02-09T17:45:14Z

A Polish newspaper wrote an article about the Winter Olympics and included this graphic, which depicts Pedobear as one of the games' mascots. Which, wow, who knew Poles could run a printing press?

...apparently what happened here is that someone Photoshopped Pedobear into a piece of artwork containing the various cuddly characters that some artist dreamed up to represent the upcoming Winter Olympics. While putting the article together, it would appear that some photo editor got his hands on the wrong version of the artwork, didn't realize it, and the image ran in the paper.

Listen, this sort of thing happens all the time. You don't even want to know how often I accidentally upload naked pics for Geekologie articles. Thank God I prevew all the articuls before postign them. Haha, I said preview, not spell check. Funny Picture: Internet sensation Pedobear appears in Polish newspaper to promote Winter Olympics [examiner] Thanks to Ford and Matt, who will be on the lookout for Pedo at the ice skating rink.

Dodge Throws In The Towel, Makes Challenger In 'Furious Fuscia' For Men

2010-02-09T16:45:38Z

Because when you know you're going down you might as well do it in a big pile of flaming pink shit, Dodge has decided to make 'Furious Fuscia' Challengers and market them to men.

Chrysler Group is trying to better define its various brands and products as it attempts to claw back lost market share following years of slumping sales and financial cutbacks that ultimately ended in bankruptcy. Photographs don't really do justice to Furious Fuchsia, Chrysler spokesman Dan Ried insisted, while acknowledging that fuchsia might seem an odd color choice for a male-oriented car. "I saw it in person and it actually looks pretty cool," he said. "It's tough to capture how it looks in the daylight."

No, it's not hard to capture. It looks pinkish-purple. Now listen, Dodge, I'm not one to tell somebody how to run their business, but you're doing it wrong. You want to succeed in auto making I've got two words for you: ~~Lean manufacturing~~ HOVER CARS. Trust me, put all your eggs in that basket. Dodge's new tough-guy color: Furious Fuchsia [cnn] Thanks to JOeyKy, who tells women he rides his bike everywhere because he cares about the environment even though I saw him on Operation Repo.

Haha!: Admiral Ackbar Gets Suckered Again

2010-02-09T15:45:13Z

Don't do it Admiral! Also, is that a womp rat? Because I don't know if I told you but I used to bull's-eye womp rats in my T-16 back home. Yep, yep, yep, and have a thing for my sister (I watched her shower once, it's true). admiral ackbar [izit] and It's a Trap Woot shirt available again

Google To Add Store Views To Google Maps?

2010-02-09T03:00:17Z

Allegedly Google plans to feature the interiors of participating retail stores on Google Maps. Because, well, I'm not really sure why. Something to do with controlling the world though, that's a given.

The report comes from Search Engine Land, which was contacted by a New York company called Oh Nuts. Apparently the almond-monger recently got a visit from camera-toting Google guys, who photographed their entire store, six feet at a time, in every direction. So essentially, you'd be able to see a storefront in Street View, click on it, and check out the interior for inventory, cleanliness, layout, etc.

Interesting, Google, but you know what would be even more helpful? Live webcams in Victoria's Secret dressing rooms. That would be huge. And speaking of huge -- go ahead and throw some in the plus-size stores as well. I LIKE 'EM THICK! I'm serious -- if I can't stand comfortably in one leg of a woman's panties I....throw that pair back and try another dryer. Google Wants to Add Store Interiors to Maps [gizmodo] Thanks to Craig, who's only interested in pet store cams. Keep the tips coming, Craig!

Pics Or You Lie: Last Night Shuttle Launch Carries Viewing Portal To Space Station

2010-02-09T01:00:18Z

The last scheduled night launch of a space shuttle (besides mine) went down early this morning, and carried a very important payload. A pickle jar full of my sperms? No. A viewing portal to be attached to the International Space Station (sorry for getting your hopes up, aliens).

On board Endeavor (STS-130) is Cupola, a relatively huge bay window to be attached to the International Space Station (ISS) that will give astronauts the most magnificent view ever seen from space (short of taking a spacewalk). Expect great pictures from this 1.6-ton behemoth -- it's 9.7 feet wide and 5 feet long with seven windows all around, including a 31.5-inch circular window, the largest ever flown into space.

Hey, that's cool too. Why start a colony of alien GW's when you can take pretty pictures of earth? Besides every good reason you could possibly think of, including, wait -- I wouldn't have to pay child support for all them freaky alien kids, would I? Because I'll fight that shit all the way to ~~the Supreme Court~~ Maury. I AM NOT THE FATHER. Shuttle's final night launch lifts largest window ever into orbit [dvice]

OLD!: Robocop Selling Fried Chicken In Korea

2010-02-08T22:45:39Z

You ever wanted to see an old-ass Korean commercial featuring Robocop hocking fried chicken strips? You're sick as f*** if you have. But this is it anyways, because I cater to you sickos. With a bowtie and silver platter and the whole nine yards. But if you think for one second I won't spike your drink, you've got another thing coming. Namely, a spiked drink. And then I'm gonna gulp it down right in front of you. HIYO, gettin' crunk on the job! Haha, what do you mean I'm fired? Youtube Thanks to victor, who doesn't buy any products endorsed by robots. Buy human!

Can You See Me Now?: Verizon Prevents Wireless Access To 4chan, Trolls Pissed

2010-02-08T21:45:05Z

Verizon, in an act of big-brotherdom, has decided to prevent wireless access to 4chan, the sparkling gem of the internet. I've got the feeling this isn't going to end well. Per 4chan Status:

Over the past 72 hours, we've been receiving reports from Verizon Wireless customers having difficulty accessing the image boards. After investigating, we found that Verizon is dropping traffic to/from boards.4chan.org, only on port 80 (HTTP). No other subdomain/IP/port is affected, which leads us to believe this block is intentional. After an hour and a half on the phone, we've received confirmation from Verizon's Network Repair Bureau (NRB) that we are "explicitly blocked." If you've been affected by the block, please call Verizon NRB at (866) 298-5373 to file a complaint.

Wow. Enjoy all the goatse pics, Verizon. 4 Chan Status Thanks to Thomas, steven, Chris, 40hands and like twenty Anons and Anonymouses, who all make the world (wide web) go round.

You've Gotta Be Kidding Me: Pajama Jeans

2010-02-08T20:45:42Z

Because Snuggies alone don't suck enough ass, somebody went and invented Pajama Jeans. What are Pajama Jeans? I don't even want to know. But you do, don't you? Fine, I'll randomly copy/paste some paragraphs and hope they do the trick BUT ONLY BECAUSE I'M A HARD-HITTING JOURNALIST. *pow!* :

"We were noticing that people were wearing their pajamas on airplanes and in grocery stores. But a lot of people have mixed feelings about it because they think it's inappropriate and sloppy," Stacey Buonanno, merchandising manager for The PajamaGram Company, maker of the double duty "denim," explained to StyleList. "A lot of people wear their workout clothes out. But we thought it would be easy to take a pair of jeans, style them similar to a yoga pant, give them all the jean detailing, but make them stretchy and soft so that you wouldn't mind wearing them to bed," she told us. Adding that, "The cool thing about the fabric is that the outside looks like a typical twill but it definitely has more of a jersey feel. And the inside is really, really brushed, so it almost feels like the inside of sweatpants or fleece."

$40 scores a pair. And, for a limited time only, if you send them to me along with $20 I'll sign them and sleep in them. Extra $10 for a Polaroid of me passed out on the couch with a penis drawn on my face, $5 for a custom stain. It's really a bargain if you think about it. Drunk. Think about it drunk. Hit the jump for a worthwhile two-minute commercial.]]> Product Site via PajamaJeans - The Next Snuggie? [stylelist] Thanks to Taylor, Neckface and pirhan, who just wear pajama pants. Keep it classy, guys.

Scientists Discover Dinosaur's True Colors

2010-02-08T19:45:28Z

Finally scientists have proven that, despite what popular kid's programs would have you believe, dinosaurs were not all purple and sing-songy and allowed near children. Nope, some has feathers. Red ones.

The researchers removed 29 chips, each the size of a poppy seed, from across the dinosaur's body. Mr. Vinther put the chips under a microscope and discovered melanosomes. To figure out the colors of Anchiornis feathers, Mr. Vinther and his colleagues turned to Matthew Shawkey, a University of Akron biologist who has made detailed studies of melanosome patterns in living birds. Dr. Shawkey can accurately predict the color of feathers from melanosomes alone. The scientists used the same method to decipher Anchiornis's color pattern. Anchiornis had a crown of reddish feathers surrounding dark gray ones, and its face was mottled with reddish and black spots. Its body was dark gray, but its limb feathers were white with black tips. Given the full detail of the findings, Dr. Prum said, "it was like writing the first entry in a Jurassic field guide to feathered dinosaurs."

"....like writing the first entry in a Jurassic field guide to feathered dinosaurs." Where the hell do these people come up with this stuff? Because I want their power of similes. Could you imagine? A word wizard of my caliber mastering the art of similes? I'd be like an unstoppable tornado of raw power and supple skin that you just want to feel against your cheek so badly but can't BECAUSE I'M A F***ING RAGING TORNADO AND WILL TEAR YOUR GOTDAMN HOUSE DOWN. Suck it, wolf. Evidence Builds on Color of Dinosaurs [nytimes] and True-Color Dinosaur Revealed: First Full-Body Rendering [nationalgeographic] Thanks to Ryan, littlezan, big jerm, Shea, Divo, Da, Meow vs Meow, lauren!, Foxx, Anonymous_Rex, ellen, Amanda, Alan, Gabriel, Jujufruit, Griffin, Gavin, Sydney, Jennifer, Mike, Max, Brent, danundertheice, Chupacabra, Jonathan, Dustin, graf zeppelin, The Coffee Mugger, Aleisha and anybody else whose email I couldn't find because the mail sorter at the internet post office is a jerk, I love dinos and so should you.

20-Minute Avatar Review By The Same Guy Who Did 50-Minute Phantom Menace Review

2010-02-08T18:45:03Z

If you haven't already seen it, this is a 20-minute review of Avatar by the same monotonously voiced cat who did the nearly hour-long Phantom Menace review. It's pretty good. Not as good as you're looking this morning, but God must have put diamonds in your eyes or some shit because you are lookin' finer than a steak dinner. Are you getting this, romance writers? I'm thinking about holding a workshop. Hit the jump for part two.]]> Youtube Thanks to Navi'Gator, Jason, Yopoleo, Khephran, Jessie, chris, DM and marcus, who review plays because they're chock-full of culture.

Mechanical Bull: Red Bull's Conceptual Bike

2010-02-08T17:45:14Z

This is a conceptual Red Bull motorcycle as designed by Barrend Massow Hemmes. Riding it makes you look like you're boning a giant red bull from behind, which, I suspect, is the reason the internal combustion engine was invented in the first place. Is there anything sexier? Yes, but it involves mermaids and a wet t-shirt contest and....God, I got the shivers just typing that. And by "shivers" I mean "garden hose from the garage". Tell your sisters, Ariel. Cash prizes. Hit the jump for two more pictures, including the original sketch.]]> Red Bull Motorcycle Concept Has Hit a Bull's Eye [walyou]