It Will Be Mine, Oh Yes, It Will Be Mine (There's Zero Chance It Will Ever Be Mine): $9,860 Octopus Watch
This is the $9,860 KudOktopus watch from designer Stefan Kudoke. It tells time but also look like an octopus. That's a good combination. Tells time but smells like shit? That's a bad combo. Sadly, watches are just jewelry now because everybody uses their phones for the time. The only guys who still wear watches are the ones who buy the really expensive ones so they can show off how rich they are. 'Look at me, I just dropped $12,000 on a piece of functional jewelry that still won't stop me from checking my phone if you ask me the time -- want to see my penis later?' Not unless it's gold plated, buddy.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots.
Thanks to Godfrey, who I didn't know parents were still naming their children (please don't be your real name, please don't be your real name).