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That Was A Problem?: One Handed Condom Wrappers

September 5, 2012 / alternatively ask your two-handed partner to do it, better than a sandwich bag I GUESS, condoms, design, dongbags, easy, god i should probably teach sexual education shouldn't i?, oh shishi sexy time already?, raincoats, safety first, safety jackets, sex, simple as snapping your fingers!, sure why not, whatever, wrap it up

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You know what the most annoying thing about condoms is? The packaging is too hard to open. I'm joking, it's that they don't make them in extra-extra wide. But for those of you that are just too excited about the prospect of having sex with a lady that it makes opening a condom impossible, here's a new design by Ben Pawle. No word how many times Ben's gone limp trying to tear a condom open, but my guess is the number would make us all sad.

The One-Handed Condom Wrapper has a perforated seam, which easily parts when you slide your thumb along the face of the packet. The condom then falls neatly into your hand, ready for use.

Listen: if you can't even open a condom wrapper I'm not sure you should even be HAVING sex. I mean, those things are even easier than ketchup packets. Are you even gonna know what the hell to do with your peen after you put its jacket on? "Wave it around like a helicopter taking off?" I stand corrected.

Hit the jump for a video of some dude showing how easy it is to open one of the packages and slip it on some other guy's clear fake wiener. FULL DISCLOSURE: design was actually created for those with disabilities and not Ben's sexual misfortune. It's just, you know, not as funny that way. Also, if you have one hand good enough to hold the condom package couldn't you just bite it open? The wrapper -- not somebody's dong.

Thanks to nathaniel and Cope, who still use party balloons because you only have to open one package for like 100 of them.

There are Comments
  • Rod R

    I really do wish they would make the extra extra wide condoms... and what is up with only making the latex-free varieties in one size? Do the manufacturers really think latex allergic women only date men of a single size?

  • McfeelySmackup

    Perforated seam?

    This seems like one of those "design school" projects that seem like a great idea to some nerd who has never actually used the product in question...which is pretty likely. Everyone knows design majors all go raw dog.

    Who even needs to open a condom one handed? A rapist?

  • ZomBBombeR

    I'm glad someone finnally thought about the needs of the hemiplegic and amputated.

  • Todd Rackham

    I wish they would work on the smell, fuck the packaging.

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    why are you sniffing condoms?

  • Todd Rackham

    One day, if you ever get the chance to use one, you will notice you can smell them from a mile away.

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    don't really think I need to use them. wife would be confused and I am sure my kid thanks me that I didn't

  • If the wrapper is perforated, ie not air tight, then you would imagine the use by dates will probably be shorter given the perishable nature of latex right?

  • ZomBBombeR

    Similarly, I was wondering how to be sure if your package, [sorry condom package] has been tampered with or not; in sex ed they always tell kids not to use a deflated wrapper due to the possibility of someone putting a substance on the condom or triflin' bitches puttin' holes in 'em to get preggo or spread disease.

  • Yeah that had crossed my mind too. I think it's back to the drawing board for this one.

  • westmclarenmerc

    Between all the comments thers in not one person who actually manage to think about the less fortunate people who actually have just 1 friggin arm. Why would they not have the right to be able to open a condom package by them selves? All of you are just whining about people have unprotected sexual intercourse and people who are suposedly to dumb to open a package procreating. That pretty much makes 9 people right here (10 if you include the writer) discriminiating against people with physical disabilities. Great job, dumbass!

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    If One Arm Luke is about to get busy that means that there is a least one other person in the room that can help open the standard packaging and put the thing on.

    Now...granted, if the other person only has one arm then they at least have two arms between them and hopefully two hands and they can use a little teamwork to get the package open and condom applied.

    If there is a room full of people and there is only one working arm between them then you have walked onto a porno set and you should keep quiet during filming.

  • westmclarenmerc

    What you fail to see is that people with just one arm shouldn't have the need to rely on other people to open such a package, I've trained my self to be able to do almost every normal thing with just one arm, both with left and right. When it comes to shoes you just go velcrow. Because there is always the possibility of getting a stroke and being partially or half paralyzed, or an accident in which you lose an arm, in either case your life switches to the life of a one armed person. And if by any luck you still get laid in that situation, you should have the right and the option to open your own package (pun intended)

  • SHOUTING

    Hooray! You can snap the johnny out of the wrapping all flashy-like with one hand, and then remain fucked when it comes to putting the thing on properly with the reservoir tip intact and all the air bubbles smoothed out and whatnot.
    SOLVES EVERYTHING

  • GreyWorm

    That's what I was thinking at first, but with a little practice I think you could squeeze the tip between your first two fingers when rolling on. A one-armed man would probably adapt quickly.

  • Guest

    Now why does it still have the pointy edges used for tearing? Seems redundant.

  • jimmy

    So the idiots can't open a condom, and so have sex without it, breeding new idiots, while the smart people can use them properly. THAT IS going to be humanys downfall!

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy
  • JJtoob

    Just get a vasectomy.

  • Guest

    *cues for vasectomy song*

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