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Dammit Mother Nature, WTF?: Flies With Scorpion Tails

September 11, 2012 in biology, dammit mother nature you crazier than trees that try to seduce bears into having sex with them, freaky deaky, get out of here with that, i don't care what the hell the tail is I just bought a gallon of OFF!, insects, no no and an extra helping of more no, no thank you, pass the raid, viral, wtf am i even looking at, yikes

scorpion-fly-1.jpg

Because everybody deserves to have nightmares, here's a common scorpionfly (thankfully not that common around here -- I hope). It's a fly with a scorpion-looking tail. But -- BUT -- the end of the tail isn't actually a stinger, it's its pecker. Tehehehe!

Scientific Name: There is a lot of different species and genera of scorpion flies, however they all come under the order Mecoptera. The genera which covers the common scorpion flies is Panorpidae.

Where is it found?: All over the world.

Should I Be Worried?: No, the fly and the "stinger" are harmless.

Details: The stinger is actually not a stinger at all but a over sized genitals.They eat dead or dying insects with their powerful jaws. The larvae consume dead insects on the forest floor.

I'm gonna be honest, I'm pretty thankful I wasn't born with a penis that looks like a scorpion's tail. That...would be awkward. "Didn't you say yours looks like Ronald McDonald's friend Grimace?" STILL BETTER THAN A SCORPION'S TAIL.

Hit the jump for a gallery of scorpionflies because f*** your sleep, that's why.

scorpion-fly-2.jpg

scorpion-fly-3.jpg

scorpion-fly-4.jpg

scorpion-fly-6.jpg

scorpion-fly-5.jpg

Thanks to lilco, who agrees when we discover bees with snake fangs it's time to GTFO and move to Mars.

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There are Comments
  • ZomBBombeR

    Well I call bs 'cause the second pic most certainly shows me a stinger but either way dangerous or not? it's a creepy fuckin' bug and I wouldn't want one more less than 30 meters away from me. I would definitely pick 'em off with a pellet gun for fun.

  • LSDiesel

    Just in case your nightmare library was running low...

  • i used to play around with these as a kid. if you grab their head they actually use the tail just like a scorpion, because as you can see from the pictures, they also have a pair of pincers at the end.

  • That's one hairy "stinger" penis....

  • DAMN NATURE YOU SCARY!

  • I'm fairly certain something like this is described in the book of Revelation. I believe they come and kill us all following the sixth seal or fifth bowl or something like that.

  • Pseudobob

    post picture of female

  • Pseudobob

    Anybody else think it odd they claim it is harmless by solely answering
    that the stinger is a penis and neglect to mention the "POWERFUL JAWS"?
    So it can't sting but does it bite?

  • Pseudobob

    Anybody else think it odd they claim it is harmless by solely answering that the stinger is a penis and neglect to mention the "POWERFUL JAWS"? So it can't sting but does it bite?

    Same answer when I looked up a Giant Ichneumon Wasp after seeing one a few weeks ago, the website said "no it cannot sting you with its long needle like ovipositor" and a few lines later "If you handle a live one it may try to sting you with the small stinger located under and in front of the elongated ovipositor" lol. (which is weird because I thought the stinger was a modified ovipositor anyway, guess I was wrong)

    Its the same kind of dodgy bs shark scientists use to claim sharks are gentle loving peaceful creatures who while they did rip some kid's legs off only did so by accident and left him be once realizing he wasn't the type of food they were looking for.

  • AdvancePlays

    OK, God's trolling us if he thinks any animal needs a penis longer than it's freaking body.

  • Pseudobob

    Look up pictures of a barnacle with an erection then

  • Davo555

    If they are harmless to humans why is the last picture of a scorpion fly standing over the decaying bone of the last human it just killed?

  • Nölff

    Zorak

  • SkillygaleeHwyl

    @http://goo.gl/umO4W

  • Lee Tan

    2nd Picture can sort of imagine the bugger smiling for probably having one of the largest peeners from the rest of its size.

  • Pseudobob

    not even close, see goose barnacle. Besides snakes and some lizards have 2

  • s24354

    2 IS better than one giant one. As long as you can use both at once, after that it gets pointless unless they are located far enough apart to serve as a backup in case one is lost or damaged

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    stock prices for Raid just increased 150%

  • cocoa

    that's a gnarly lookin peen, bro!

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