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Full-Scale, Seaworthy Noah's Ark Replica Complete, Apocalypse Ready (Provided The Apocalpyse Is A Flood)

August 2, 2012 / bible, boat, building things, different strokes for different folks, dreams, floating, holy smokes, i'm on a boat (jk jk i'm on a couch), large, let's set sail for adventure, my god that looks like a fire hazard, religion, who am i to judge i'm just a guy who's been trying to learn the secrets of jesus's water into wine trick, why do i get the feeling this story is gonna end with an accidental fire within a couple years?, wood

Noahs-ark-replica.jpg

Remember the story I posted last year about millionaire Johan Huibers building a full size "biblical-scale" replica of Noah's ark after dreaming his homeland of Holland flooded? Well now it's complete, and ready to set sail for safety in the event of global warming. *eying proportions* Fine, but there better be room for dinosaurs this time.

The ark described in the Book of Genesis measured to 300 cubits long, 50 cubits wide, and 30 cubits high. A cubit is supposed to be the distance of a man's arm from the elbow to the fingertips, so Huibers used his own arm and his ark came to be around 450 feet long, according to Sky News.


This wooden recreation, four years in the making, is the second one he's built. In 2004, he built a half-scale version that he sailed around his native country's canals, ChannelsTV.com reported.


Now listen, before you run to the comments to spout off about religion or anti-religion or whatever, let me make one thing perfectly clear: I DON'T CARE. You can practice or not practice and believe or not believe whatever the hell you want as far as I'm concerned AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T AFFECT ANYBODY ELSE. Black magic? Go for it. Besides, you're not seeing the bigger picture here. The completion of this ark is a real OPPORTUNITY. "To nuke the ice caps and rebuild the human race from scratch?" *wink* Tell Johan to park the boat outside, I'll run in and mash the big red button.

Hit the jump for a video news report about the thing.

Thanks to Sputnikk and Joanne, who agree he should have made it bigger so he could fit three of every animal just in case the two don't like each other and won't mate.

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There are Comments
  • Ingledsva

    LOL! Obviously not big enough for all the animals it was supposed to hold - and - as usual the "replica" can't actually float on its own - it has an ADDED barge bottom keeping it from sinking!!!! LOL!

  • Ingledsva

    LOL! Obviously not big enough for all the animals it was supposed to hold - and - as usual the "replica" can't actually float on its own - it has an ADDED barge bottom keeping it from sinking!!!! LOL!

  • KellyCurtis

    I wonder if Noah was able to find a male and female kangaroo in the Middle East? Oh, those funny old Jewish campfire stories! The funniest part about them is all the hillbillies who read the Bible with todays mindset, and never think about how Noah saw the world. Which was about 75 miles by 150 miles, and the world was assumed to be flat.

  • Maybe Yah still enjoys some genetic pottery when not watching us masturbate.

  • I'm pretty sure that building another ark is a waste of time as God promised not to flood the whole world again and the 'rainbow' is a symbol of that promise. Or something like that.

  • grimbldoo

    Yep, and not to mention that the Ark would be much larger than the titanic anyway.

  • It's not even a boat, just built on top of a bunch of barges

  • The Ark of Mozes was just a basket.

  • Closet Nerd

    just wait until the aliens come back to earth and explain what REALLY happened back then
    ...... just sayin

  • not even a modern aircraft carrier (which is larger then this) could hold two of every kind of animal. what a joke.

  • No need to feed the hungry... We've got a giant boat!

  • Big enough to transport a whole bunch of 1-ton burgers!

  • Personally, i'd unleash some of the to-be-culled kangaroos in Africa. Maybe their cuteness will distract the locals long enough for restaurants to prosper.

  • Gob

    Be careful with the termites..

  • Pascale Laviolette

    If you believe the ark myth to be factual, then you're really doing critical thinking wrong...
    Inform yourself: http://www.skepdic.com/noahsar..., because it's getting a bit awkward for the rest of us.

  • grimbldoo

    "Presumably, this contradictory set of instructions was no bother to Noah and to future Biblical literalists. If he takes seven pair, then he also takes two pair. And in some ancient esoteric traditions it is possible that seven means two."

    If this guy can't understand that that verse meant take seven of the edible animals, but only two of the non edible ones (declared non-edible), I am not sure I should even trust his judgment.

  • Refill .... the .... Dead ..... Sea.... WTF !!! Why not carring your arc into space ....

  • I'd honestly pay good money to watch that thing shot in the sky with a rocket after it was loaded with Creationists. I even pay their way.

  • All religion aside that is pretty cool!

  • In that photo at the top there, it's in a barge rather than sitting in the water. That's somewhat of a cheat, no?

    Though, as has been mentioned, The Netherlands are about one of the first places in Europe (along side East Anglia) that are likely to flood if the sea levels rise even a bit, so best get prepared early. Kind of glad I live on top of a hill near a coastline dominated by cliffs, really.

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