Move Over, Oral-B!: Chewable Spiky Toothbrush Thingie
This is Rolly. Rolly is clearly a misnomer though because these things would definitely NOT roll. Gumballs yes, and you can bet your ass I'd still eat them off the floor. Rolly is a chewable rubber toothcleaner with little spikes designed to gently scrub your teeth. It's advertised as a more discreet way to clean your teeth because people watching while you brush is a big problem. Dammit, STOP STARING -- you know I can't brush without getting foamy-mouth! Rolly also contains Xylitol and Fluoride so the government can still exercise its mind control over you even though you're not getting Flouride from the water supply. Plus it looks like if you swallowed one you'd grow an alien baby inside your tummy.
Thanks to Marish, who allegedly knows a guy with teeth so bad he has to brush with a rake.
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This is soap shaped like brass knuckles. It's equally suited for punching yourself in the taint or fighting off would-be lovers in the prison shower. Which, miss you Big Bear. Brass Knuckle Soap Allows You To Punch Up a Good Lather [gizmodo] Thanks to pstone, who made me hi... / Continue →
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These are Invisiplug wood grain surge protectors. They're designed to blend into wood grain flooring and not be such an eyesore. They make the perfect ironic statement for that hipster living room that's all tile. Still, even if you do have wood grain floors that actually ma... / Continue →
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This is a box of Aperture Laboratories brand cake mix. Apparently it comes with everything you need to make the cake in the picture, except the cherries. Of course a bunch of people on Amazon gave it 1-star for being a lie (LOLOL -- you guys!), so who knows. I think it's just... / Continue →
