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Learning By Looking Down: Probiotic Yogurt Drink Turns Your Dookie Different Colors To Tell You What's Wrong

June 21, 2012 / doctor my shit is like a rainbow man, doodoo, everyone poops (except me and all women), ewh, eww, grody, learning by looking behind you, medical, nasty, please be candybars please be candybars please be candybars, self-diagnosis, sickness, sure why not

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I'm really hoping those are painted candybars because otherwise there are TURDS ON THE HOME PAGE. I guess there's a first time for everything. E. Chromi is a yogurt-like probiotic drink derived from E. Coli bacteria that could soon turn your doodoo different colors based on what the hell is wrong with you. Me? EVERYTHING is wrong with me.

While researchers have so far only suggested that the drink could be used to track the progress of E. coli, they believe that one day it can diagnose conditions like colorectal cancer, worms, stomach ulcer and salmonella just by people looking into the toilet to check the color of their remains.

Admittedly, that's not a bad idea. I'm just always too afraid to look back in the toilet after I'm finished because I'm constantly afraid I have worms. No lie, sometimes my butt itches right around the exit and I convince myself it's a worm peeking its head out. No word what it means if you look in the bowl and it's all liquid, but my guess is a serious case of TB. "Tuberculosis? " Taco Bells.

Hit the jump for an instructional video of the "Dammit doc, I'm shitting rainbows, man. Give it to me straight -- am I a unicorn and you're just not telling me?!"

Thanks to Jason and Andi, who agree green is never good.

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There are Comments
  • Christine Eubanks

    " E. Chromi is a yogurt-like probiotic drink derived from E. Coli bacteria that could soon turn your doodoo different colors based on what the hell is wrong with you."

    By the way, can I get the whole benefits of probiotics by just taking probiotics supplements? I really don't want eating yogurt or any dairy products.

  • As a individual with Crohn's disease, I find this technology extremely interesting and very exciting. About once a month I undergo an upper gastrointestinal scoping which is an expensive and uncomfortable procedure, and all in the effort to detect symptoms like Ulcers and Colitis. If and when this technology hits the market, it would virtually nullify these procedures and provide a simple and affordable method of checking for these debilitating symptoms of my disease. I am anxious to see the future developments of this technology for medicine and more.

  • Wait —why is MY poop colored red, if I haven't drank this yogurt?

    o__0

  • interesting... this makes the 'embarrassing things to buy' list.

  • I once had green poo. Another time I had really dark orange pee. And this without yoghurt. Beat that!

  • n_a_a_s

    ooOOOOoooohhh unicorn pewp, it's pretty :)

  • Cassidy Lamb

    Why is there orange, red, and yellow poops when there is not all of those colors on the graph?

  • Well, there is certainly yellow on the color chart as well as red - these two colors combined create orange. However, I think you're looking way too much into the colors of the poop...step away from the computer...

  • Cassidy Lamb

    What I'm saying is there are 6 colors on the chart, and 6 colors or the poop, but they aren't the same six colors... this could be very confused if you ate that yogurt.

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    ummm....what if your poop is normally a slightly ultraviolet turquoise?

  • too much purple drank and blue jolly ranchers?

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