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Too Long: Woman Changes Name To 161-Word Version

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A 41-year old woman in England changed her name to one with 161 words in it because she's (presumably) fresh out of high school and will never have to write it at the top of a homework assignment again. Her new, horrible name, in it's entirety, is (cue that fast-talking Micro Machines guy):

Red Wacky League Antlez Broke the Stereo Neon Tide Bring Back Honesty Coalition Feedback Hand of Aces Keep Going Captain Let's Pretend Lost State of Dance Paper Taxis Lunar Road Up Down Strange All and I Neon Sheep Eve Hornby Faye Bradley AJ Wilde Michael Rice Dion Watts Matthew Appleyard John Ashurst Lauren Swales Zoe Angus Jaspreet Singh Emma Matthews Nicola Brown Leanne Pickering Victoria Davies Rachel Burnside Gil Parker Freya Watson Alisha Watts James Pearson Jacob Sotheran Darley Beth Lowery Jasmine Hewitt Chloe Gibson Molly Farquhar Lewis Murphy Abbie Coulson Nick Davies Harvey Parker Kyran Williamson Michael Anderson Bethany Murray Sophie Hamilton Amy Wilkins Emma Simpson Liam Wales Jacob Bartram Alex Hooks Rebecca Miller Caitlin Miller Sean McCloskey Dominic Parker Abbey Sharpe Elena Larkin Rebecca Simpson Nick Dixon Abbie Farrelly Liam Grieves Casey Smith Liam Downing Ben Wignall Elizabeth Hann Danielle Walker Lauren Glen James Johnson Ben Ervine Kate Burton James Hudson Daniel Mayes Matthew Kitching Josh Bennett Evolution Dreams.

Apparently the former Ms. McManus changed her name to draw attention to her charity, Red Dreams, which encourages children to build confidence through creative projects. Now I don't know about you, but when I was growing up we built confidence the old fashioned way: yelling at yourself in a bathroom mirror. LOOK AT YOU -- YOU ARE A SMART AND FUNNY GUY. NOW GET OUT THERE AND ASK THAT GIRL TO THE DANCE. YOU CAN DO IT! YOU MIGHT NOT BE THAT ATTRACTIVE, BUT TWO OUT OF THREE GOOD QUALITIES AIN'T SHABBY. Now get out there and -- is that a pimple? You're actually pretty Quasimodo looking. What are you thinking trying to ask that girl to the dance? Maybe go for the girl with the club-foot instead? You know, you could always stay home and play video games. Yeah, f*** it, there's always next year. SPOILER: that was senior year. No worries though, I've since Photoshopped myself into other people's prom pics I found on Facebook.

Thanks to Evil Ares, who's so evil he changed all his FRIENDS' names to really long ones so he's always be the first one to finish a test in school and feel like a smarty-pants.

There are Comments.
  • Guest

    She must really hate the Human Resources departments where she works at. XD

  • The saddest part about it is the media giving this loser one moment of attention for doing something ludicrously stupid.

  • Yes! They shouldn't be giving any attention to somebody doing something - albeit stupid - for charity! They should be lavishing it on so called celebrities and reality tv show 'stars' and supermodels and pop stars and such!

  • Andrew St. Andrew

    Her nickname is TL;DR

  • William Samuel

    I bet the people down at the courthouse and the DMV are gonna love this.

  • Georgia

    Two thoughts: How is this fucking legal? And also, did she not notice she had SO MANY DOUBLE UPS? I'm assuming she incorporated a bunch of other people's names into her stupid new name, but seriously--how many Michaels, Emmas, Davies' and Liams does she NEED in her name?

  • Apparently, some of the names are those of people the charity has helped.

  • "Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it: people DON'T REMEMBER MY EFFING NAME"

  • n_a_a_s

    fucking awesome writeup GW, laughed my ass off reading that good sir

  • Scruffy's reminded of the Nazi's names he's seen that were longer than the alphabet. She reminds him of a Nazi now.

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