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Squeaky Clean: Portable Bidet Attaches To Any Bottle

May 10, 2012 / bathroom, butts, cleaning things, cleanliness is godliness, getting a spray-down like an elephant at the zoo, hose it down!, it's little!, just pray you have good spatial awareness or the end of that thing might end up in your butt, portable, privates, spraying things, squeaky clean, sure why not, the dark side of cleanliness, travel, water, water fight!

portable-bidet.jpg

Been to southern Europe? Congratulations, you've probably used a bidet. Live in America? "Damn yeah I am -- those Europeans are weird!" (Says the guy who doesn't wipe or wash his hands after going to the bathroom). This is the Hygienna Solo portable bidet nozzle that can attach to a bottle so you can clean your whistle on the go (whistle = b-hole, FYI). Want to smell like roses down there? Well too bad, but I guess you could smell like grapes if you slapped that bad boy on a wine bottle. Just kidding, the bottle has to be squeezable. Me? I like my butt SPARKLING so I'm gonna attach mine to a milk jug full of bleach. You know what the best part about the design is though? Convincing your friends it's a water fountain so they can share your bottle without spreading germs. Little do they know just minutes ago it was your butthole taking a drink!

Thanks to Suzanne, who claims she knows a giant who got kicked out of Vegas for trying to use the fountains at the Bellagio as a bidet.

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There are Comments

  • So this is the bottled bidet my friends are telling me about. It's cute, handy and much better than using toilet papers.

  • You couuuuuld grab some rose water from the kitchen....

    just saying.

  • Renato Leduc (1897-1986), a famous Mexican journalist, was very impressed with the bidets the first time he visited Paris. One of his friends explained to him tongue-in-cheek (I hope!) that the bidets were so popular not because Parisians were so obsessed with hygiene, but because the prostitutes used them to drown their unwanted babies.

    Like I said, I *hope* this was tongue-in-cheek...

  • This solves all my problems!

  • Azariel_z

    I feel really sad for people that can't have a bidet ( not so much for the extra space :-S , OR a toilet + with a "pin-point to the arrrse  jet of water" built in ( swaasshhhhhh)..I mean..just toilet paper is not enough...

  • rbl001

    anyone else think there was a goldfish in the bottle?

  • agatha

    I thought so too, hahaha!

  • That is just terrifying - and really unnecessary.

  • Azariel_z

    because? 

  • No, sorry, you'll have to give me a full question before I can answer.

  • Azariel_z

    like :

    Why terrifying and /or unnecessary???

  • Better than a tabo!!!!

  • By 'European', I think you meant French. There's a clue in the name, 'bidet'. But of course all of Europe is the same...

  • I'm British and therefore European. I have never used a bidet. You don't find them much in the UK.

  • kevin dijkshoorn

    Yeah, not all the people in Europe are the same  I am from Holland and i dont use sutch sort of thing, it are the Fucking French people who ruin on how you people think about us.

  •  You know Goldmember, I don't speak freaky-deaky Dutch.

  • Whistle = Penis. Not arse.

  • Surely 'whistle' is rhyming slang for suit?

  • n_a_a_s

    PENIS PUMPP!!!

    ...for europeans of course

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