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Emo Eye-Covering Haircuts Causing Lazy-Eye Epidemic

May 15, 2012 / emo, eye poison, eyeballs, f***ing yourself up, fashion fail, hahahahahahhahah, hairdon'ts, hairdos, i heard lazy eyes are the new cutting yourself, i want off this planet and i want off asap, kids these days, personally i don't care, stop cocking your head like a dog you look ridiculous!, viral, yes

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In news that shouldn't surprise anyone who's worn an eyepatch for a week straight pretending to be a pirate, doctors in Australia are now claiming a haircut that covers one of your eyes makes that eye lazy because it doesn't do anything but stare at your stupid hair all day long.

Optometrists Association of Tasmania education director Andrew Hogan warned that amblyopia, the medical term for lazy eye, can result from obstructed vision caused by hair.


"If a young emo chap has a fringe covering one eye all the time, that eye won't see a lot of detail," he said. "And if it happens from a young age, that eye can become amblyotic."

Want a cool emo haircut but not a lazy eye in ten years? Here's what you do: punch yourself in the face as hard as you can. Don't stop until you don't want the haircut anymore.

Thanks to bb, who agrees the best kind of haircuts are the ones that make your hair smell good. No? That's the shampoo and conditioner? I did not know that.

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There are Comments
  • Bob Sponge

    Emo kids don't do anything anyway. How are you meant to determine that an eye is any lazier than the rest of their bodies?

  • Good God! I've been sayin' it. I've been sayin' it for ten damn years. Ain't I been sayin' it, Emo-Miguel? Yeah, I've been sayin' it. 

  • If the title were "Lazy Eye Syndrome Causes Emo Haircut Epidemic" , Scruffy'd be worried.

  • McGarnagle

    Haha, "young emo chap".

  • This pleases me. 
    Also i love the term "Lazy eye", it makes me imagine all sorts of things.

  • Omar Cortex

    Darwinism.

  • Hehe, thank got I see less and less of these kids.

  • This is actually a myth. There's no evidence to substantiate that claim.

    I shouldn't say there isn't evidence. It's possible but in order for this to actually happen the eye would have to be covered 24/7 and receieve no stimuli what so ever.

  • So are you saying that the Optometrists Association of Tasmania is lying?

  • No, I just think they don't know exactly what they're talking about. I, in no way, profess to be a professional optometrist. But you can easily find many articles that denote this to be false.

  • And I can probably find many that says it's true. Meh!

  •  Who are you gonna call?

    MYTH BUSTERS!!!

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