Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

11-Year Old Ruins $36K In MacBooks WITH HIS URINE

May 1, 2012 / apple, but i really had to go!, expensive lesson, man i had to go so bad a couple weeks ago i thought my peenor was gonna blast off like one of those water rockets (i think i did permanent damage), peeing on things, ruining things, why you do that?, woospie doopsie, you better hope there aren't any though apple fanboys at juvee!, you shouldn't have done that

apple-pisser.jpg

An 11-year old at Upper Allen Township Elementary in Pennsylvania pissed on a stack of 30 school-owned MacBooks, destroying an estimated $36,000 in computers. That...sounds like a pretty impressive stream. Even after six beers and no peeing I'd be lucky to ruin two computers. PSCHYE -- I COULD BRING DOWN AN ENTIRE WAREHOUSE FULL OF SERVERS AND STILL HAVE ENOUGH LEFT OVER TO WRITE MY NAME ON THE FLOOR.

In a report now bemusing Mac fan forums across the Internet, the Upper Allen Township Police Department states that "the cart and computers were damaged beyond repair, resulting in the loss of over $36,000."


For the crime of creating $36K in Apple biohazards, the boy in question was charged with institutional vandalism and criminal mischief. While the police spokesperson assures me that, contrary to some reports, the kid was not arrested, his case was forwarded to the Cumberland County Juvenile Probation Department.

Admittedly, I pee on things I shouldn't all the time. One time in the middle of the night I even woke up, opened a dresser drawer, and peed in it. Just kidding, that was my buddy Porterhouse Pete. He's the same one who got so drunk he thought he was in the bathroom but was actually pissing on the roommate's door who lived across the hall from the bathroom. That's when I opened the door and punched him.

Thanks to Lord Tarl, who could decimate an entire Apple Store easy.

  •
    Apple Pays $21-Million For Stolen Clock Design
    November 12, 2012
    Apple, a company best known for refusing to replace the glass on my iPhone for free despite me yelling, "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? DO YOU? I'M THE PRESIDENT'S SON!" several times on the phone, has agreed to pay $21-million to license the iconic clock design they had previously sto... / Continue →
  • Those Aren't Hushpuppies!: Deep-Fried Gadgets
    June 4, 2012
    This is a small series by photographer Henry Hargreaves and food stylist (Jesus -- even foods have stylists now? I still cut my own hair) Caitlin Levin of a bunch of deep-fried gadgets. It's supposed to be a social commentary on how consumers view gadgets as disposable (or p... / Continue →
  • Düsseldorf Drift: German Guy Drifting His Shelby (AC) Cobra Around A Pole Indoors
    August 10, 2011
    This is a video of some nimrod drifting his (possibly kit) Cobra around a load-bearing pole in his basement. Or...something. I actually don't know what I just watched. What I do know is I was hoping it would end in carbon monoxide poisoning. Hit the jump for your RDA of bur... / Continue →
There are Comments

  • shit smells better with piss apple is shit

  • That kid is just doing the right thing. The last thing this unstable education system needs are shitty fragile macbooks.

  • I'm pretty sure you can't charge a 11 year old here.  Is that the minimum?

  • Andyman7714

    $36,000 loss because no one wants to clean the damn things. What a waste.

  •  It is impossible to fall out of love. Love is such a powerful emotion, that once it envelops you it does not depart. True love is eternal. If you think that you were once in love, but fell out of it, then it wasn't love you were in. There are no 'exit' signs in love, there is only an 'on' ramp. (( H_o_t_B_l_a_c_k_w_h_i_t_e. c_0_m  )) Lots of my friends found their lovers through the se'rvice. You may have a try... ;)

  • .... I've spilled a shit ton of coffee on my mac-book keyboard with no damage. I fail to see how those are "ruined beyond repair", where they all powered on with the motherboard exposed?

  • Scruffy supposes there's a few teachers out there with blow dryers, pissy hands, and new Macbooks.

  • artilleryboy

    They were urinated on. T hey are sort of a bio hazard now. They would have to be destroyed. 

  • Shaun9lives

    Urine is sterile.  You can drink it.  Ask Brad Pitt.  

  • westmclarenmerc

    It's not the urine itself thats the problem, it's the salt in the urine, the urine itself will dry up but in the mean time the currunt running through it, combined with the salt is very cosrosive and can destroy circuit paths.

  • artilleryboy

    Even if it is, its still disgusting and unhygienic. A school isn't going to give out laptops covered in urine.

  •  Have you seen what they feed kids in school? A little urine is the least of their problems.

  • artilleryboy

    so you would use a laptop covered in a kids piss

  • You can make ammonia from piss. It's used like bleach for cleaning.

  • Shaun9lives

    That's what I was thinking.  My MBP has been extremely durable, despite my extreme klutziness.  Either this kid had a whole lot of piss and some pinpoint aim, or someone's just looking to get some new computers.  

  • $18922249

    You know... Microsoft could get some solid PR here by replacing the goods. 

  • wow $36,000 ? that's like.. 3 macbooks

  • Ickolith

    If you spend that much money on computers who's jobs are done just as well on far cheaper systems you deserve to have a kid piss all over them.

  • Azariel_z

    Maybe is a "How to be Hipster " School...

  • Now if it was Windows the damages would come out to around $1000

blog comments powered by Disqus