These are the Brewsees 12'Oz'ers, a $30 pair of aluminum sunglasses with bottle-opening earpieces. Sure they're not the coolest looking sunglasses, but you're not exactly the coolest looking guy either. Besides, they open beer bottles. Me? I can open a beer bottle with anything. Seriously -- give me anything. "Here's a toothpick." Watch and be amazed! *bites top off with teeth* "But you didn't use the toothpick." Because I didn't f***ing have to. *swallows bottle cap* "You're gonna regret that later." I'M TEACHING MY BUTTHOLE A LESSON.
Hit the jump for a couple more product shots.
Thanks to Patrick, who doesn't wear sunglasses because he wears a motorcycle helmet with the visor down all the time. You -- you are cool.
Awh yeah, we gonna be drinkin' our miruvor all Middle Earth style, son! ThinkGeek's etched LOTR pint glasses and quart mugs come in Prancing Pony (you are!) and Green Dragon varieties and are available for $30 for two pints or one mug. Me? I got them all. Somebody's getting... / Continue →
Bottle Tops are plastic lids that snap onto aluminum cans. You know, because you're too special needs to drink out of a can without spilling. Jesus, ask your mom for a sippy-cup already. However, if you absolutely must, a 12-pack of different colors will set you back $10. B... / Continue →
Because Pokemon and beer pong are both serious business, here's a homemade table combining the two. You can only play beer pong on it though, the Game Boys don't actually play Pokemon. "Aw man, I thought they did." That's because you're an idiot. "I was being facetious." O... / Continue →