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Russia Admits To Development Of Radiation 'Zombie Gun' Designed To Scramble Brains/Provide Mind-Control

April 5, 2012 / brain, brain poison, dammit russia, gw stop drooling, i hope you know i'm being honest when i say i would shoot all my neighbors with this thing then hack them up for zombie survival practice (they all suck anyways), let it go that was like decades ago!, microwaves, my brain feels like a slurry, no but seriously why?, no no no no no, russia, that sounds like a terrible idea, the apocalyse nears, this will end poorly, uh-oh, weapons of mass retardation, zombies

russian-zombie-gun.jpg

Russia, still bitter about the whole Cold War thing, has been secretly developing a microwave 'zombie gun', designed to scramble people's brains and potentially provide mind control. This...is not going to end well, but would make a pretty bitchin' movie. "In Soviet Russia, gun zombies you." Jesus, of course you went there.

Precise details have not been revealed but previous research has shown that low-frequency waves or beams can affect brain cells, alter psychological states and make it possible to transmit suggestions and commands directly into someone's thoughts.


Mr Putin said the technology is comparable in effect to nuclear weapons but 'more acceptable in terms of political and military ideology.'

Well folks, looks like it's time to break out the tin-foil hats. Me? I lined my regular baseball cap with foil on the inside so I still look fashionable. I like to think of it as chic apocalypse. "You really do think about the dumbest shit." Man, you ever wondered if like, the whole world used to be pyramids but most of them just eroded away?

Vladimir Putin Confirms Russian Zombie Radiation Gun [gizmodo]

Thanks to Domino, gnarls_purrly (i see what you did there) and stephen, who only like one thing scrambled: eggs. Really? I like mine over-easy!

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There are Comments

  • tu mama tambien?

  • First thing I thought after reading was Yuri from C&C: Red Alert 2 hahaha

  • Jonas Hortell

    Someone has been playing too much S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

  • $18922249

    HAARP

  • luxlucetintenebris

    And they've tested this on actual people and you can bet they didn't volunteer for it.

  • inconspicuous

    lol.

  • To think I've lived to see the day when you can actually lay odds on which dopey "end-of-the-world" movie will actually come true ... Night of the Living Dead, Terminator, or Day After Tomorrow!!

  • Lol a psychological weapon as a psychological weapon.

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