GirlfriendHire.com is a website that allows you to hire girls to pretend to be your girlfriend via text/Facebook, do your homework, give relationship advice, ooooooooor tell you how to grow your peenor, all for the low, low price of $5. Shit, for $5 I'll do your homework for you. Granted it'll all be wrong and contain enough sexual innuendos to get you suspended, but I'll do it. For a video of me in a bikini summarizing Battlestar Galactica like that one dude wants though -- $5 ain't gonna cut it. That's gonna cost you at LEAST $10 and you'll have to cover my bikini wax on top of it. And not some Groupon to a sketchy salon in a strip mall either. *eying stubble* I'VE BEEN BURNED BEFORE.
GirlfriendHire Official Site
Here's a Website That Lets Sad Guys Pay Girls to Do Girlfriendish Things for Them [gizmodo]
Thanks to Todd, who claims he's actually used their services before and AHAHAHAHAHAHA -- now everybody point and laugh.
A plastic surgeon in Washington DC has started performing a procedure dubbed the "Facetime Facelift" because people don't like the way their double chins look when using the iPhone's Facetime chat. Jesus, THEN JUST CALL OR TEXT.
"Patients come in with their iPhones and show m... / Continue →
Brazilian sex toy/blow-up doll manufacturer is auctioning off the virginity of Valentina, the company's first 'real-life' sex doll. Of course I have no idea what 'real-life' is supposed to mean in this case, and I don't think I want to. The auction doesn't end till March 31st... / Continue →
If you're anything like me, you're all alone in the world. Zero real friends. Hell, I don't even talk to a single other person all day except the barista at Starbucks and even she doesn't like me because I farted in line once and customers complained. Enter Client Partners, ... / Continue →