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I'M SO READY: Mass Effect 3 Official Launch Trailer

March 2, 2012 / coming soon, count me in, happy michael? i made a video game post, i aaaaaam jack shephard! "um gw? that's the guy from lost" oh right, i can't wait to see the sexable crewmate options! (because i'm a sad sad pervert), i've been waiting for this, killing aliens, let's do this thing!, mass effect, outerspace, video, video games, yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!!!!1one

mass-effect-on-tuesday-whee.jpg

"Each of you needs to be willing to die. Anything less...and you're already dead."

Mass Effect 3: it's coming out Tuesday, and I will be playing it. THAT DAY. I don't care if I end up alienating(!) every single one of my crewmates and wind up masturbating in the captain's quarters bathroom before the big battle, I WILL save earth. Oooooooor die trying. Probably die trying a couple times (on insanity). "OMG -- you're gonna take the rest of the week off after the game comes out and leave us high and dry, aren't you?!" That...yeah, that sounds realistic. Pew pew pew, I'm saving earth!

Hit the jump and get your earth-saving space-boner on.

Official Site

Thanks to cheze, I am Krogan! (yes!) and Sara, all of which promised to come over and help me get through the really hard parts.

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There are Comments
  • musik_v_

    This makes me moist

  • Pentacost

    Awesome game, crappy, interchangeable, universally miserable and unsatisfying endings. Get ready for multi coloured space magic solving all problems, but causing new, even bigger ones, shed loads of autodialogue and a lack of player control or input, plot holes you could fly the Normandy through (and Joker infact does) and the game generally giving the finger to fans of the first two games.

    If you haven't played Mass Effect before, you'll love it, if you have, and are in this for the characters and their stories, bioware is about to troll you incredibly hard.

  • Taylor Rowland

    Why is that? i haven't heard much about the game itself and am about to spend $80 on the collector's edition. I'd like to know the facts first ^_^

  • Pentacost

    Spoilers Ho!

    Most dialogue is like in the demo, primarily without any imput from the player, slanted either Paragon or Renegade depending on which you have a larger reputation bar of. Once you get Ashley on your crew for example, you only get one conversation with the dialogue wheel if you didn't romance her. The rest is automated responses like Zaeed and Kasumi in ME2.

    The Reapers motives are incredibly dumb. Long story short, some ancient nutcase aliens built giant killer machines that periodically wipe out all organic life, to prevent machines being built that will wipe out all organic life.

    Jacob always cheats on Femshep and gets another woman pregnant, thane always dies, Udina gets indoctrinated and tries to kill he council, TIM gets indoctrinated, EDI is now a sexbot, you can try romancing Joker, and he turns you down because it would be unprefresional, then starts shagging Fembot EDI

    And the seven endings of Mass Effect 3:
    1) Red Space magic 1: Relays explode, The Citadel explodes, the Reapers stop killing and fall over, Normandy abandons you and runs away from battle, gets damaged by space magic, crashes and the crew gets trapped on an unknown planet, destined to descend into inbreeding, if recruited Tali and Garrus will starve to death, Shepard dies, Earth is annhilated.
    2) Red Space magic 2: Same as 1, but Earth is only badly damaged.
    3) Red Space magic 3: Same as 1, but Earth is ok.
    4) Red Space magic 4, the super secret golden ending: same as 3, but Shepard lives! Somehow!
    5) Blue Space magic 1: Same as 1, but with blue Space magic, The citadel doesn't explode, he Reapers just stop killing, not fall over, and Shepard is killed and absorbed into he Citadel to control the Reapers, but it's not really Shepard, more an AI their mind influences the programming of.
    6) Blue Space magic 2: Same as 5, but Earth is ok.
    7) Green space magic: Same as 1, but the green space magic is made by vaporising Shepard, and using his essence to magically make all organics a bit synthetic, and all synthetics a bit organic. Reapers stop killing and get organic bits. Earth is ok. This ending needs a perfect game to unlock.

    No happy endings for anyone! Joker is a tool! And we beat th Reapers with an 'I win' button! Yay!

  • Don't worry GW, I'll be right there along side o'you.
    "Sleep? WTF is that?"
    I'm soooo ready for this f-ing game, you cannot believe!
    In hindsight, I'm actually a little surprised Bioware was able to complete this in, hm, two years? Maybe a little more since ME2 dropped in '10. Hopefully the content won't take a nosedive like it did in Dragon Age 2. Hopefully.

    Get you're Redbull on, it's gonna be a looooong week...

  •  SPOILER ALERT:  It's an even worse nosedive than DA2.

  • ButteredToast

    So excited for this game to come out! I loved the demo but wish it had been longer. They also didn't show any travel or space exploration parts of the game. Either way, my copy is reserved and my Tuesday is taken.

  • Celtic47

    I want more Garrus pep talks.

  • artilleryboy

    Engage

  • Shegs

    tell me when it comes out on steam... or at least doesn't NEED origin to play.

  •  So, never?

  • Shegs

    suppose not.. bummer too, my Shep was a bad ass.

  • I'm not buying this one.  I miss when BioWare made interesting games.

  • yeah and master chief is totally ripping off the guy from Doom

  • austin allen

    this is the biggest insult to the Halo universe i have ever seen. 

    SUCH A RIP OFF.

  • It's not like Halo needed Mass Effect to insult it. It can do that to itself just fine.

  • Thomas Ramsey

    @Friebe agreed. Just because Halo used a full face visor doesn't mean that no one else can try their own spin on it. And imho the Mass Effect universe is putting Halo to shame.

  • austin allen

    wrong. the halo universe has one of the best storylines ever made, and mass effect is ripping it off by turning the flood into reapers and make the covenant and humans work together under different names. on top of that, the armor for the aliens in mass effect look so damn similar to halo. the full visor was just the tip of the rip-off iceberg. 

  • BanHeim

    Sounds like an opinion to me. 

  • This may come as a shock to you, but Halo did not invent the concept of several factions banding together against a galaxy-spanning threat. Hell, I'm playing a game which uses the same sci-fi archetypes right now, Conflict: FreeSpace. It's been released in 1998, a whole three years before Halo came out.

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