Another Day, Another Stupid Japanese Face Exerciser
This is the Japanese Face Slimmer, a $50 (FIFTY DOLLARS?!??!!1) piece of plastic you jam in your mouth to look like a lovedoll. You're supposed to wear it while reciting the vowel sounds of the alphabet three times a minute, twice a day. And that...that's supposed to make your face slimmer. Granted it won't work, but none of these things do. You want to slim down your face? Here's what you do: choke yourself while your food's digesting so none of fat can travel up to your face. Simple! "I'm sorry, GW, but I'm pretty sure this is some sort of sex toy." It might be, the product site's in Japanese!
Thanks to bb, who's convinced laughing is the best face exercise. Really? I heard it was standing in front of a fan so you sound like Darth Vader.