When I was in the hospital under 24-hour watch after a car accident, the nurse told me I had two options: a catheter, or to pee in a marked bottle WHILE ON CAMERA every time I had to go. Now listen -- I'm the kind of guy who can't pee in a bathroom if there's someone else in there, but I told her not only would I pee the bottle, they could have first year med students come and watch me. That's how bad I didn't want a catheter. Enter this new electronic diaper from Japan. IT IS NOT FOR SHITTING.
The setup is simple: there's a pocket for one's penis, an electronic sensor, a suction tube and a vacuum tank. When the diaper detects urine, the vacuum starts sucking until the pad becomes dry.
The diaper was flooded with liquid when demoed at the show, and apparently a scant 0.01 ounces of liquid remained in the already lightweight, compact pad. Its maker, Japan's Unicharm Humancare says after use it is only one tenth of the weight of regular adult diapers.
Oh man, are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Can we mod it into a pleasure device?" Exactly. But we're gonna have to be careful -- it's a fine line between pleasure and accidentally vacuuming your penis off.
Thanks to Jacob, who agrees Dysons and penises are a bad match.