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Crappy Alien Themed Brothel Coming Soon

alien-brothel.jpg

That sad old pervert (Dennis Hof) who owns the Moonlight BunnyRanch brothel in Nevada has decided to open a new alien themed whorehouse because his regular prosties aren't doing it for him anymore. "They need to be green and wearing those glitter antennas", I imagine he said to himself while climaxing to The Wrath of Khan.

[Hof] recently bought a rundown bordello 90 miles northwest of Las Vegas and unveiled plans to renovate and reopen it with a science fiction theme [...] It's all an attempt to cash in on the property's location just south of the federal installation formerly known as the Nevada Test Site -- though nowhere near the actual Area 51.


...But who cares about sex when there are costumes designed by Hof's partner, tabloid fixture Heidi Fleiss?

Hof's alien theme is already well past the probing stage, but important details -- whether the working women will be painted green, for example -- are still being decided [...] It's unclear whether the costumes will be for everyday use or for promotional events and special occasions.

$20 says it has wood paneling. Another $20 says 3 out of 4 blindfolded patrons could identify the smell of the place as sadness infused with green body paint mixed with a Star Trek convention and Astroglide. Mmmm, space lube.

Inevitably depressing alien-themed brothel to open in Nevada [io9]

Thanks to Jackie, who agrees there better be that three-tittied alien chick from Total Recall or GTFO.

There are Comments.
  • It's an interesting idea and, if done right, Fanboys would love to have sex with their favorite Sci-Fi chick (even if just in costume). I will say this, though, it ain't no fun if you gotta pay for some...
     
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  • Chip_Chipperson

    I would fuck there

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  • 6dennis6

    SOMEONE PUT HTIS MISERABLE WRITER OUT OF HIS MISERY.
    Me a pervert? why because I live with cami parker a centerfold and she and I do 3 to 4 threesomes a week?
    Me masturbating? no, not since high school.
    He did not do any homework, 1/4 past the Alien cathouse make a right and go 15 miles to area 51, its a very big area, 100's of miles.
    Bet $20 there is paneling, this ain't your daddys old cathouse, I am spending seven figures to make it nice as I always do.
    ALWAYS REMEMBER WHILE HE IS TYPING SHIT, I AM PLAYING WITH HOT GIRLS

  • airplane_fighter

    this is the real Dennis Hof speaking.  You are not the real dennis hof.  you are dennis the real estate appraiser from Portland.  I bang aliems and i like em chunksy!

  • 6dennis6

    look at the e its coming form its daddy d
    if you doubt it call 888bunnyranch and ask for me

  • Marc-Olivier Lelièvre

    I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER ANGRY DENNIS HOF!

    (BTW: Aliens, Sadness, Tits & Overall Debauchery? You had me at "Sadness". SOLD!)

    See you soon, Dennis. Warm 'em up for me, would ya?

  • 6dennis6

    I am never angry, never, just wanted to set it straight keep talking about it.

  • cocoa

    you're wrong, man. i heard GW gets blown by a hot blonde while writing his articles. that's why there's so many typos.

  • Dy7lan (the seven is silent)

    SOme people try way too hard.

  • James Broadwater

    firsttttttt!

  • Christopher Barnes

    It's begging to be called Area 69...

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