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Skyrim Marathon Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong

November 22, 2011 / doing it wrong, facebook, fake, going for the gold or something, i did just play zelda for 7 hours straight last night, marathon, pfft -- my butt does that without all the junk food, playing video games till your eyes dry up, role playing game, rpg, sounds like a great time!, video games, video games are dangerous to your health

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This is a series of Facebook status updates chronicling some poor f***er's Elder Scrolls: Skyrim marathon gone horribly, horribly wrong (hit the jump for the entire series). It's fake but funny. I've seen similar things done in the past, but without such a bloody ending. Sure you could argue if your ass isn't bleeding by the end of a gaming marathon it was never much of a marathon to begin with, but that would make you a crazy person. A crazy person with a point.

Hit the jump for the entire dear God no.

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All set for Skyrim marathon! [reddit]

Thanks to Justin and beer_flavored_vodka, one of which sounds like a great idea (sorry, Justin).

There are Comments
  • Matthew Norton

    hahahahahahahahaha all that food / snickers/ monster energy and the kid drinks a DIET dr. pepper

    So wish this was real :(

  • Cool story.

  • This came from College Humor's Dorkly: :P

    http://www.dorkly.com/article/...

  • This is from College Humor's Dorkly: :P

    http://www.dorkly.com/article/...

  • This is from coll

  • Besides being told it's fake from the beginning, which some haven't realized I guess, Jeremy should have been posting via mobile. It would have been simple to do and this could have been much more enjoyable with a little thought put into it. Still not all that horrible though.

  • His diet is disgusting. Do gamers really eat like that?

  • G hun

    Are you really that stupid...

  • I don't eat like that. Actually, sometimes I skip meals when I'm trying to finish a game quickly. The bad thing is that I also skip drinking water, so it may be just as bad as the gamers who eat a lot of junk food. We'll both die with our arteries clogged, but I won't be a fatass LOL. When I do decide to snack I don't like to run to the store and buy junk food because it's a waste of time. I'll just do something with whatever is in the fridge (I hate being kicked out of Black Ops games because of innactivity): Quesadillas, microwave some egg rolls, toast and Nutella or peanut butter, leftovers (usually home made meals which could be anything like pasta, beans, rice, avocado salads, stir fry with lots of brocolli, and chicken or beef, etc.) sometimes I do eat fruit like bananas or berries, and if there are cookies, that too, which are usually from Trader Joe's, and I drink either juice, milk, or soymilk. But I think I'm pretty much out there when it comes to eating, but then again I am blessed to have someone in the house who actually cooks wholesome food.

  • Marc-Olivier Lelièvre

    ALL gamers eat like that ALL the time. There are a few exceptions that add variety to their meals, of course:
    - Special KFC Bucket "Only Fried Skin",
    - Bacon-wrapped bacon dipped in pig-fat, deep-fried,
    - Melted Mars/3 Musketeers bars intravenous injection,
    - Espresso Bomb (quadruple espresso lightly improved with a touch of crack-cocaine),
    - Gummy Bears.

    I'm glad there are critical thinkers such as you who ask pertinent questions so we can finally demystify this old rumour about gamers' eating habits. Not only are you asking the real questions, but I'm glad you weren't fooled by the "fake" impression given off by this tragic event.

  • zeldasbff

    OMG you eat double bacon fried bacon too!!!?  Actually, TBH, I fry my bacon in BEEF lard.  Y'know, to keep some variety.

  • So did anyone who posted in the comments read the geekology text at all?

    THEY TOLD YOU IT WAS FAKE. ITS OBVIOUSLY FAKE. BUT ITS STILL FUNNY.

  • Fine to be fake and funny, but when obvious fake reeks of fakeness with no personality then it's time to move on... and plenty of players have died hardcore gaming pulling all weekers, these idiots present pure disrespect to the fallen comrades.

  • NoveltyFishHead

    If you eat that many Cheetos of course your blood will turn orange.

  • M

    Staged scene by another internet attention whore. 

  • > Kill Dragon.
    With what, your bare hands?
    > Yes.
    Congratulations! you have just vanquished a dragon with your bare hands...

    How does it take 30 hours to do that?  Srsly.

  • MightyMolecule

    ...paid employees or kids apart of the still-ongoing-but-soon-to-be-regretted-though-leaving-actual-geeks-shamed "geek is cool" life meme. while most got their dungeon fix back when d&d dropped and zork was all the tech rage, apparently that still doesn't stop marketing me-toos from pushing a game that's essentially (and interchangeably) fallout with different skins. but its got dragons yo! speaking of fallout, any news on the creation engine for it would be swell...

  • Yeah, how dare the company that made Fallout 3 make a sequel to another one of their really popular series that came out before Fallout.  It's just copying the same game but with different tropes, settings, layout, etc.  Because the gameplay is similar means it's not any different in any sense.  And, besides, geeks can never really be cool like jocks.  It's just a fad.  Everyone now is just a faker.  Don't worry, MightyMolecule, I'm with you. 

  • Baked cheetos? that's worse than cherry poptarts! blegh

  • Least convincing part of this whole thing..."Diet" Dr. Pepper. Is it strange that that's what threw it off for me?

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