Mmmm, Printer Jam: 3-D Printable Food Closer To Reality, My Gaping Face-Hole

September 13, 2011


Mmmm, boogers a la baby doodoo -- my favorite!

Printable food: because who wants a human being touching meals with those grubby-ass fingernails of theirs when it can be squirted out a nozzle in paste form? Mmm, paste. Enter Cornell's Creative Machines Lab, which is apparently on the leading edge of printable food technology because, remember: being the only one doing something automatically makes you the best at it. "And worst." Dammit Debbie Downer, I was trying to sound inspirational!

The CCML food printers require edible inks and electronic blueprints called FabApps. This machine prints food using multiple cartridges, going line by line until the desired shape is extruded. "The electronic blueprint specifies exactly which materials go where--it is essentially a blueprint of the food item," says Hod Lipson, the head of the lab.

With most 3-D food printing concepts today, the inks are the foods themselves in fluid form--think molten chocolate, cheese, or cookie dough. Foods that can't be readily extruded from a syringe such as meats and vegetables are ground and mixed with other liquids to create novel food-inks.

Essential Dynamics, a tech startup in New York, plans to bring out a commercial version of the 3-D food printer that will retail for $1,000 initially. Its founder Jamil Yosefzai believes that the desire to customize foods will make 3-D food printers an essential part of everyone's kitchen in due course.

Call me crazy, but..."YOU'RE F***ING NUTS, BRO!" Okay from everybody else's continued silence I'm gonna assume you realize that was actually meant to be a rhetorical 'call me crazy' and you feel stupid for yelling now. "I'M NOT STUPID YOU'RE STUPID, I'LL CUT YOUR ASS!" Ugh, my point was this Ragey McFlyoffthehandle: I'd rather take my chances with a chef not washing his hands than have my meals extruded out of a Play-Doh Fun Factory. Know what I'm sayin'? I'm saying I've already eaten enough Play-Doh for six lifetimes.

Ramen by HP? The Wild Possibilities Of Printing Food [fastcompany]
Printable food is coming [dvice]

Thanks to my buddy Clark, who's never printed food before but did write, "KEEP GOBBLING THOSE WIENERS!" on my birthday cake in icing one year.

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