I Just Shot Grandma: Company Packs Ammo With The Ashes Of Your Dead Relatives
Let's face it: we all want to be shot out a cannon when we die. But cannons can be expensive to rent, and you don't want your family stuck with that financial burden. "Who gives a shit about them, I'm the one that died! They should respect my wishes." Haha, I'm with you. But, for those of you who actually love and respect their relatives, there's Holy Smoke. For $1,250 they'll pack a pound of a relative's ashes into either 250 shotgun shells, 250 pistol cartridges, or 100 rifle cartridges. BLAM BLAM BLAM! *wiping tear* Miss you grandma.
An account of the company's creation by one of its founders reveals that he is clearly some sort of lunatic:
My friend smiled and said "You know I've thought about this for some time and I want to be cremated. Then I want my ashes put into some turkey load shotgun shells and have someone that knows how to turkey hunt use the shotgun shells with my ashes to shoot a turkey. That way I will rest in peace knowing that the last thing that one turkey will see is me, screaming at him at about 900 feet per second."
Awh yeah, way to stick to those dickhead turkeys! Always gobble-gobbling and shit, NOW YOU GONNA PAY. But seriously, I'm 100% behind this idea. And, since the average human body produces 4 to 6-pounds of ash, you could really get a lot of ammo out of somebody! Me? I'd probably produce at least 10-pounds. Plus a couple coins that never passed.
Thanks to TJ, who, based on some of the info in his tip, is waaaaaaaaaaay too familiar with the cremation process to have never burned a witch.