(Not A) Fair Fight: Taser Glove Laser Thingy
Always getting into fights? It's your face -- people find it offensive. Wear a mask like I do. Kidding, I just don't ever go out. The BodyGuard (not to be confused with the movie I've never seen and have no intention of) is the lovechild of a ballistics-nylon arm bracer, video camera, flashlight, 500,000-volt taser and laser pointer. That...must've been one hell of an orgy. It was designed by David Brown (not Charlie, Dan or Doo Doo) for use by police and corrections officers to help defuse potentially dangerous (read: stabby) situations. A make-believe scenario that doesn't involve tasering your roommate while he's passed out on the couch:
A robber is cornered in a dead-end alley. He turns to face the police officer pursuing him, ready to fight. He pauses. The officer's left forearm is encased in ballistic nylon, and half a million volts arc menacingly between electrodes on his wrist. A green laser target lands on the robber's chest. He puts his hands up; it's a fight he can't win.
Not gonna lie, I guarantee I'd still wind up tasering myself. Probably while in a compromising situation. "Like trying on women's clothes?!" No (although I do do that), like trying to get up off the john with numb legs. I wouldn't go in there for awhile, bro -- smells like burnt wiener. Wasn't me though, I just noticed it. "But your pants are charred." I HAD DIABLO HOT WINGS FOR LUNCH.
2011 Invention Awards: A Crime-Fighting Armored Glove [popsci]
Thanks to R-Man Thunderfist and Jacob, who fight with Power Gloves on and usually lose.
-
The picture above is a diagram from an Arizona man's US Patent application showing his taser-proof clothing. Or if you want to get technical it's the patent for an "energy weapon protection device". It's basically conductive and non-conductive material in layers that prevent an... / Continue →
-
The taser shotgun is a shotgun that shoots taser rounds. It sounds scary as shit because it is. I don't want to get hit by a shotgun or a taser, so this would be like a double whammy. A double whammy of pain. And pain, my friends, is bad. We all know that. What we don't... / Continue →
-
Because what better way to answer a call than with 650,000-volts to the side of the head, a young inventor is desperately trying to bring the Yellow Jacket iPhone case to market. In case you couldn't tell because you suck at context clues, it's an iPhone case with an integrate... / Continue →
