World Health Organization: Cell Phone Radiation Can Probably Cause Cancer

Because everything causes cancer if you're exposed to enough of it (except my wiener! *flashing*), the World Health Organization (WHO -- but not the Doctor) has released a statement classifying cell phone radiation as "possibly carcinogenic to humans". Also on that list: fun, candy and outside. Oooooooor lead, chloroform and engine exhaust. Which, *ahem* ♪ these are a few of my favorite things ♪
Before its announcement Tuesday, WHO had assured consumers that no adverse health effects had been established.
A team of 31 scientists from 14 countries, including the United States, made the decision after reviewing peer-reviewed studies on cell phone safety.What that means is that right now there haven't been enough long-term studies conducted to make a clear conclusion if radiation from cell phones are safe, but there is enough data showing a possible connection that consumers should be alerted.
"The biggest problem we have is that we know most environmental factors take several decades of exposure before we really see the consequences," said Dr. Keith Black, chairman of neurology at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.
Thank God nobody ever makes calls anymore and everything is done by text-message, amirite? I am. But if I find out I'm getting nut cancer because my phone is radiating right next to my change purse there's going to be hell to pay. Ooooooooor balls to cut off. *Einstein hides under the bed* Not yours, dummy -- MINE. *Einstein comforting his balls with his tongue*
WHO: Cell phone use can increase possible cancer risk [cnn]
Thanks to Evil Ares, who makes all his calls from a treehouse using two rusty soup cans and a long string. Be careful bro, you might not get cancer but tetanus is a very real possibility.
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Because we don't already have enough terrifying things to worry about killing us (I'm looking at you, champagne corks!), you can officially add 'brain-eating amoebas' to the long list of shit to be scared of. Wonderful, just wonderful. *absentmindedly tonguing cyanide capsule... / Continue →

