Dragon Drenchers: Because Holding A Thumb Over The End Of A Hose Isn't Enough Anymore
Don't tell Mikey but I filled mine with battery acid.
Bonzai Dragon Drenchers are $25
pieces of shit water guns. They're filled up via garden hose and then, when squeezed, can shoot water up to 25ft to drench your friends. Whee!!!! Whee? woo. God, whatever happened to splashing around in a kiddy pool pretending you were Poseidon?! Do kids these days not have imaginations? Because when I was growing up we didn't even have a hose, we had a well and buckets. But did that stop us from playing 'water dragon penis shooter'? Actually, yes. Plus my friend fell down the well. "OMG, the girl from 'The Ring'?!" OH HELL NO -- WHY YOU GOTTA BRING HER UP?! And I was just getting used to sleeping with the lights off. You're a real dick, you know that?
Hit the jump for a video of the least summer fun you can have short of a sunburn.
Thanks to Corey, who once caught a pair of boys hiding in the bushes playing with their dragon drenchers and ran home to tell his parents. It was the right thing to do, Corey.