Surgery (I'll Be Hopped Up On Meds All Week)

I trust her.

Hey guys, by the time you read this I'll be mid-operation. Nothing serious, apparently they just have to perform really drastic wiener reductions in phases. Thankfully, I wrote a bunch of articles yesterday that should auto-populate the site while I'm out today. If all goes well I should be back home tomorrow and all kinds of wacked out on pain meds. I'll have absolutely zero idea what I'm writing or any recollection of what I just published which is exactly how I operate so you probably won't notice a thing. HIYO! Here's to not passing out in the waiting room like last time. Or the doctor leaving forceps inside me. Or getting groped while I'm under. Or -- okay now I'm freaking myself out. See you all tomorrow, be good.

• Doctor Folds And Flies Mini-Paper Airplane With Da Vinci Robot's Surgical Pincers

  April 2, 2011

  Penny pincers. Get it?! Me neither, the guy next to me at Starbucks told me to say it and he's been in the bathroom for 40 minutes now which is bad news. This is a video of a surgeon from Swedish Hospital in Seattle (THAT MAKES ZERO SENSE) showing off the dexterity of a Da V... / Continue →
• Enterprise Crew Testing New 'Acid Drive'

  January 18, 2011

  This is a short video of the USS Enterprise crew testing their new Acid-Drive. Granted it looks a lot more like an Ecstasy-Drive to me, but what do you expect from a bunch of half-assed Federation subcontractors? SPOILER: Deflector shields that couldn't stop a thrown tennis b... / Continue →
• Parents/Law Enforcement Concerned Digital Drug Use May Lead To Analog Drug Use

  July 20, 2010

  Seen here looking a little spacy herself, this is a news report by Adrianna Iwasinkski regarding the dangers of digital drugs leading teens down the slippery slope to analog drugs and, eventually, to turning tricks in the mall parking lot to get their next fix (been there done ... / Continue →