Malls To Use Full-Body Scanners For Sizing
"You're a large. Also, EVERYBODY DOWN THE BALD WOMAN HAS A GUN!"
Sometimes I wear a large. Sometimes I wear an extra large. But I always wear custom boxers made to accommodate a giant member. Think of my pants as the reptile house at a zoo, but with even more mice being eaten. Aw yeah, I know you hawk-wieners know what I'm talkin' about! So yeah, using full-body scanners to determine your sizes for all the different stores in a mall. "Great tie-in, GW." Thanks, I take great pride in staying on topic.
Ms. Shaw, the entrepreneur, is chief executive of a company called MyBestFit that addresses the problem. It is setting up kiosks in malls to offer a free 20-second full-body scan -- a lot like the airport, minus the pat-down alternative that T.S.A. agents offer.
The customer steps into a circular booth, fully dressed. A wand rotates around her, emitting low-power radio waves that record about 200,000 body measurements, figuring out things like thigh circumference.
Next, the system matches the customer's measurements to clothes in its database. MyBestFit currently measures clothes from about 50 stores, including Old Navy, Eddie Bauer and Talbots.
Customers then receive a printout of the sizes at each store that ought to fit the customer best. The retailers pay a fee when they appear in the results, but they cannot pay to be included in the results; the rankings are based solely on fit. (The company saves the data, with ID numbers but not names, and may give aggregate information to retailers as feedback.)
Admittedly, it's not a bad idea if you can get past the idea of the pervert running the kiosk pleasuring himself to a copy of your body scan while they're on break. "They wouldn't do that." Like hell -- I once caught a JC Penny employee going to town in the bathroom with one of their own catalogs. THE HOMEWARES SECTION. Espresso machines and mixers.
Thanks to Katt, not to be confused with Cat, who's meowing because I accidentally just locked her in the closet.