All The Rage: Ridiculous 'Monkeytail' Beards
There's a new fad sweeping the nation, and, sadly, it's not women going topless. Nope -- it's monkeytail beards. Monkeytail beards (NOT BEARS) start at one ear and then wrap around your chin and mouth to make it look like you just finished picking the ticks off a monkey's nuts with your teeth. Personally, I'm more of a sloth man. "HEEEEEY YOOOOOOU GUYS!" Not him, he still gives me nightmares. You don't actually have to stripe your beard like this Dapper Dan did to achieve a monkeytail, it just scores some extra 'girls talking to you at the bar' points if you do. Unfortunately, any girl who does talk to you will NOT being accompanying you home at the end of the night. "Why not?!" And the answer to that, my friend, lies in the mirror.
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the handsomest of them all?"
"You must be out of your f***ing mind! Just break me already."
Hit the jump for a pictorial field-guide, including one guy trying to candidly include his gramma in the picture, another doing his best Bushicmi eyes, and another taken on the can. Classy bunch.
Thanks to Joseph, who opted for a rat-tail instead. AWH YEAH -- MY MOM'S STILL GOT MINE SAVED IN AN ENVELOPE SOMEWHERE! (Not even kidding)
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This are both sides of some dude's beard featuring a raptor and apatosaurus facing off in battle. Or maybe just standing there making eyes at each other. Apparently the beard won some school's 'teacher beard growing competition', which, as far as prestige goes, is only one st... / Continue →
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This is Chad Roberts and his Spider Man beard. It recently won Chad top honors at the 2nd Annual Garden State Beard And 'Stache Competition, which is held at a bowling alley. Proceeds from the event (which also included a burlesque show for good measure) went to The Jersey An... / Continue →
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Wanna look like a warrior dwarf? You already do. Jk jk, that was mean of me. I only said that because you're short and have a neck beard. But for those of you who weren't ladled out of the shallow end of the gene pool come these crocheted beard helmets from Etsy seller Lege... / Continue →
