April 24, 2011 - April 30, 2011 Archives
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I'll dump wherever I damn well please. This is a gallery of road-sign furniture crafted by Tim Delger with the help of prison inmates. Get it? Because they manufacture all the road signs in there! "Those are license plates." GOD YOU ARE REALLY... / Continue →
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Sauna Pants may look like a flotation device but there's not gonna be anything bobbing around in a pool of sweat but your penis. I only bought a pair just because I've always wanted a pair of shorts that have to be plugged in. The temperature is a... / Continue →
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Pepsi plans to introduce a new line of touchscreen Pepsi machines that, not only serve cold beverages (♫ I like cold beverages ♫), but also help you interact with your friends by buying them sodas. Which, for the record -- I AM NOT YOUR SUGAR ... / Continue →
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Converse Japan is dropping two limited edition Chuck Taylors (black and white) to commemorate Mario's 25th anniversary as a plumber (and a crooked one too -- I think he stole the copper out of my walls!) No word on cost, but you know what they say... / Continue →
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Don't tell Spiderman -- he's already pissed he lost the contract to produce those web-bags oranges come in. The Vehicle Arrestor *cuffing self to bed* from Barrier1 Systems was designed as a road block to stop speeding vehicles and launch driver... / Continue →
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Note: Uncensored version after the jump. Full-res uncensored version HERE, pervert. This is a picture by digital artist Bjørnar Frøyse (pronounced boner-freeze) of Princess Peach taking it off before a dip in the kiddy pool. *donning Mario's f... / Continue →
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You know what I want to get into? Taxidermy. Just kidding, but I would get into a bed made of pillows and sleep for like two weeks straight. You know, or a car with a stranger. Candy or not, he's cute! 'oritsunagumono' (translated as 'things f... / Continue →
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I've never owned a Razor scooter. I tried a friend's once but I fell off a curb and scraped my knees really bad. There was blood. Also: townspeople laughing. Now I live all alone in a bell tower, ashamed. I did make a zip-line though so that's... / Continue →
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In what can only be viewed as a blatant act of terrorism, Superman is renouncing his U.S. citizenship, citing "America's obesity problem he's tired of being construed as an instrument of US policy." You know what? Fine -- but you better change yo... / Continue →
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Simple, you just go to Hackertyper.net, change the custom parameters however see fit, then wait for somebody to start watching over your shoulder. When they do, start pounding away on your keyboard like a child throwing a temper-tantrum, and, PRES... / Continue →
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Wrong: that's exactly how you're doing it. This is a video of a guy at a trade-show or something jamming his finger in some machine before finding out what it actually is. Which -- SPOILER!: is an automatic masturbation/collection machine for spe... / Continue →
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Boat shoes, yo. This is a shoe decorated by artist Phil Noto to looks like a battleship. As you can see, it has all the requisite battleshippy features. Most noticeably, a shit-ton of gray. Paint that thing green and you'd swear it was a tank! ... / Continue →
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"Luke, I may be broken, but I'm still your father -- please don't piss on my chest panel." This is a broken urinal dressed up to look like Darth Vader. Because if there's one thing that's gonna prevent a man from pissing all over a broken urinal,... / Continue →
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I dunno, MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP WIPING YOUR ASS WITH IT. Why in the hell toilet seats are the litmus test for how dirty something else is is beyond me, but I suspect it has something to do with dingleberries. Which, fun fact: are actually consider... / Continue →
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Mario videos -- everybody loves them, right? "I hate them." YOU SHUT UP -- I HATE YOUR FACE. The first (short) video is of the original Super Mario being played with Portal technology. The second (longer) video is a speed-run of Super Mario 3 wi... / Continue →
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There's a new fad sweeping the nation, and, sadly, it's not women going topless. Nope -- it's monkeytail beards. Monkeytail beards (NOT BEARS) start at one ear and then wrap around your chin and mouth to make it look like you just finished pickin... / Continue →
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If you haven't seen it already, this a video preview of the zombie portion of Call of Duty: Black Op's upcoming May 3rd DLC release 'Escalation', in the style of an exploitation film. That is all. Which, fun fact, is actually what 'amen' means. ... / Continue →
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If it can tear a hole in space just imagine what it could do to an ass! Seen here (but not really because it doesn't exist yet) looking suspiciously like staring down the barrel of a Portal gun, a new ultra-superlaser capable of tearing the very f... / Continue →
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When it comes to buying a home, you've got to ask yourself, "is there gonna be enough room for all my junk/shit but what if zombies attack?" Sadly, for most the answer is "lose and die". But not the owner of this house! THEY BE KEEPIN' THEY BRAI... / Continue →
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Pennsylvania, which is apparently some kind of mecca for f***ing ninjas, is back in the news, this time after a rogue ninja went on a crime spree, breaking into a bunch of cars and stabbing a dude. Pfft, a real ninja would've killed him. Worthwhi... / Continue →
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"You're a large. Also, EVERYBODY DOWN THE BALD WOMAN HAS A GUN!" Sometimes I wear a large. Sometimes I wear an extra large. But I always wear custom boxers made to accommodate a giant member. Think of my pants as the reptile house at a zoo, bu... / Continue →
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Just wait till Little Red WTF's eyes turn into flames and she steals your soul. Seen here about to tear a woman's arm clean off, a begging robot solicits donations from patrons at a mall. Great, like it's not hard enough pretending all the human ... / Continue →
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Because there's nothing that makes a fanboy pop boners quite like color options (seriously, that's all it takes sometimes -- and only black and white), Apple is releasing the long-awaited white iPhone 4 tomorrow for the same price as the black mode... / Continue →
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Personally, I'm happy just as long as the bread's not moldy, I've never really had a problem with toasters. But apparently a lot of people really struggle with them. Dummies. The Roastie Toaster features a ring of heating elements around its sphe... / Continue →
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Remember the guy that built the machete-shooting slingshot? This is him. It's not a twin or just a brother that looks similar, it's actually the same guy. And now he's back with a steel ball-shooting slingshot Gatling gun. It looks pretty fierc... / Continue →
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This $17,000 'Skier Controlled Tow Boat' from Hammacher Schlemmer may look like a Jet-Ski, but it's actually a full-size boat that's been shrunk with a shrink-ray. SIKE -- THIS AIN'T NO GOOFY-ASS RICK MORANIS SHIT, THIS IS REAL F***ING LIFE! (Re... / Continue →
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This is a video of the Nurd Rage guy (FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!), who hands down has one of the best voices of our generation, weakening the structural integrity of a Coke can by adding a drop of gallium to the lid, and then scratching the surface to allo... / Continue →
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I'm not a backhoe you're a backhoe. The Hand Trux is an $18 piece of molded plastic designed to scoop up dog shit. Plus they make it look like you're wearing Bumblebee's dick on your arm WHICH IS SO IN RIGHT NOW. Also, not wearing bras. Run wit... / Continue →
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Zero chemicals, zero fun -- just ask my brain. The Chemistry 60 educational lab kit comes with a bunch of crap/garbage to perform '60 Fun Activities With No Chemicals', making it only slightly funner than an ant farm with no ants and nowhere near ... / Continue →
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I was just thinking the other day, "self, you really need to buy some new socks." And nowhere in that conversation did RPG-themed cologne come up AND YET HERE THEY ARE. Go figure. Or fish -- I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. In most pen and paper fantasy RP... / Continue →
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So tomorrow (April 27th) will mark one week since the Playstation Network was brought down after an attack on the system last Wednesday, April 20th. Sony reports the network will remain down indefinitely as they rebuild the system from scratch (an... / Continue →
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This is an R/C plane that looks like a superhero so you can provide false hope in an emergency situation. THERE -- IN THE SKY -- THAT SUPERHERO WILL SAVE US! *crashes into powerlines, bursts into flames* CAPTAIN PLANET NOOOOOOOO!! Flight chara... / Continue →
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This is a series of Photoshopped images from Rabbbittooth (not to be confused with Rabittoot, which are usually accompanied by a couple pellets) that superimposes a Star Trek character's face over an old timey body. That's pretty much it. There a... / Continue →
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This is the game cover for Portal Kombat, a game that only exists in 'a Youtube video of the fatalities' form (video after the jump). Still, it's better than nothing. It's also better than getting hit by a car in a grocery store parking lot, so y... / Continue →
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Note: That tiny-ass picture looks like complete ass and is by no means the whole graphic, click HERE to see the whole thing, get your learn on, then fight in the comments like big babies. This is an informational graphic comparing and contrasting ... / Continue →
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Playground?! That's a bathtub if I've ever seen one! Brought to light by the recent story of a woman who felt uncomfortable after discovering the old man next to her was watching a "threesome" (complete with speaker audio -- no headphones for thi... / Continue →
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Note: Actual console will probably NOT look like an old slide-projector. So apparently Nintendo has opened up a bit (JUST LIKE I SAID THEY SHOULD) and released some info on the upcoming gaming console set to drop next year. Next year being 2012. ... / Continue →
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I don't actually know if that's a woman in the wheelchair or not, but I'm praying it's somebody in costume being candidly filmed for some Jackass-y stunt show. Because otherwise I don't know what to think. Yes, yes I do. RUN OVER YOUR TOES AND B... / Continue →
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Picture moderately related, Counter-Strike SAS troops. A group of Manchester teens, on a crime spree of breaking into vans and stealing tools, tried the handle on the wrong van over the weekend and were confronted by a squad of armed SAS (Special ... / Continue →
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This is another video game themed wedding proposal video created by Gearbox Software for "Borderlands' two biggest fans" Ben and Tora. What makes them the biggest Borderlands fans is beyond me, but it better involve regrettable tattoos or I'm gonn... / Continue →
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Spark plugs are used to ignite the gas and oxygen mixture in your vehicle's engine and are NOT to be confused with butt plugs, which are used to reignite the passion in your bedroom. Me? I tried once but just shit the sheets. So romantic. Enter... / Continue →
