April 10, 2011 - April 16, 2011 Archives
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And the winners of the Gunbrella Weather Weaponry give-away are *drumroll please* -- comment #'s 738 (El Josh-O), 768 (Deanna Waldron) and 2262 (Ryan B.). Damn, looks like it was a great contest to be a commenter in the 700's! (Specifically, 738 or 768) Thank you all for playi... / Continue →
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OH MAN, WHO'S AS EXCITED ABOUT WINDOWS 8 AS I AM?! If you answered, "go f*** yourself" and picked up something to throw it at me, you might be! And now an early beta of the operating system has been leaked! Plus it can run off of a 16GB flash drive! The future is now! Who ... / Continue →
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According to a bunch of industry 'insiders' who are allegedly in the know (but more than likely just lying to impress their favorite video game blogs), a new, ultra-powerful HD Nintendo console will be revealed at the E3 event in June, moving the company out of the stone age an... / Continue →
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This is a short video of a lady riding the train and using what I can only assume is the latest in cell phone technology. No word if the device is able to place calls to dead relatives, but my guess is absolutely. Plus anybody else she can imagine. Get it? Because she's out... / Continue →
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Seen here looking suspiciously absolutely nothing like my basement, indoor weed growing ops like this one are estimated to be responsible for 1% of all US energy consumption -- around $5-billion a year. Which, for the record, I would never pay for an ounce. Not even one grown... / Continue →
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Because your penis can never be too orange, Taco Bell has been testing a new crunchy taco shell made out of what appears to be a giant Nacho Cheese Dorito (with a couple extra pieces of shredded cheese stuck to the exterior for good measure). Named the 'Doritos Locos Tacos', ... / Continue →
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Burberry, a company best known for f***ing plaid (houndstooth FTW), recently held a runway show in Beijing featuring holographic models. Which, fun fact: eat just as much as real ones. DAMMIT JEM, YOU TELL THAT BAND OF YOURS TO POUND SOME CHEESE-FRIES, STAT! Admittedly, the ... / Continue →
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Oh right, because the Sex Files were sooooooooo good. Because perverted Trekkies everywhere would be devastated if there wasn't an opportunity to watch a pornographic parody of every different Star Trek series, an adult version of The Next Generation is set for release early n... / Continue →
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Want to play thousands of user-created levels in the world's largest game of Pac-Man? Well now you can thanks to worldsbiggestpacman.com. Designed by Soap Creative to show off the capabilities of HTML5 and tout Internet Explorer 9, I just played the shit out of it in Firefox ... / Continue →
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Note: Larger version HERE for the full theatrical effect. This is a picture of the set being erected in Austria's Lake Constance for a summer run of Italian composer Umberto Giordano's opera 'Andre Chenier'. As you can see, the entire piece takes place on an eyeless giant's f... / Continue →
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This is a video of the Cleverlys performing a cover of the iconic overworld theme (and a bit of the underworld one too!!!!11) from the original Super Mario game. It's okay. I'm mostly just posting this because the guy on the left looks like Colonel Sander's retarded younger b... / Continue →
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This is a 3-pound, $45 bulletproof clipboard from ThinkGeek. It's questionable for a number of reasons. 1) nobody but the lady administering my driving test uses a clipboard anymore and even she knows a bulletproof version isn't do her any good because I threatened to stab he... / Continue →
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Want 10-minutes of pre-production footage of Peter Jackson (who looks like he's lost at least 20 gollums and has his own Bilbo Baggins thing going on now) showing you around some of the sets and actors in his upcoming Hobbit movie? AS YOU WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH!! No -- wrong fran... / Continue →
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Seen here looking suspiciously like Punch-Out's Little Mac taking a fall, Australian structural engineer Kris Tressider decided to build himself a real-life Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot. Possibly to show off his robot-building ingenuity, but probably because he doesn't have any fri... / Continue →
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You remember watching 'Terminator 2' for the first time, when, after finally defeating the T-1000, the original (Schwarzenegger) Terminator sacrifices himself in the same vat of molten steel so his technology can't be used to create Skynet? I do -- like it was yesterday. I wa... / Continue →
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Nice shorts. You know what the best part about playing through 'Bioshock 2' was? Being able to escape from my mundane existence for a couple hours a day and pretend I was part of something greater. "Whoa broski -- how about a little warning before opening such a big box of f... / Continue →
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China, in an attempt to curb inaccurate portrayals of the country's past, has created a list of guidelines for television programs that discourage the use of time-travel in plots. So yeah, no more going back and changing history. The Great Wall was originally built as a tape-m... / Continue →
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This is a short video of a guy wearing one of those ultra-realistic 'Walking with Dinosaurs' t-rex suits and running around an Australian schoolyard trying to make kids tar their pits pants. Most of the children run in terror, but I spotted at least a couple future dino-lovers... / Continue →
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Because that Spiderman Broadway shit-show is well on its way to making money (bandaged) hand over (broken) fist, a live-action Batman 'arena' show is being launched in the UK this summer, after which it will tour the world FOR FIVE YEARS. Which, according to my most recent cal... / Continue →
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Note: You can't read a word of that unless you were granted eagle-vision after a radioactive bird shat in your eye or something, click HERE to see the whole thing. This is a definitive guide to superpowers and the freaks who have them. Or, if you want to get technical, " a ta... / Continue →
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This is a video of little Sarah Gallego at Disneyland who, after being presented with an opportunity to train with the Jedi Academy, opts to bow to Darth Vader and join the Dark Side instead. Boy must her parents have been embarrassed! Or devil worshipers. I swear, you never... / Continue →
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Because these things have been pouring in like piss and toilet paper remnants out of a clogged commode, here's four different Mortal Kombat-related videos, in this order: 1. The first installment in series of live-action 'Mortal Kombat: Legacy' shorts. 2. Rejected Mortal Komb... / Continue →
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Everbloom, a Night Elf Restoration Druid playing on World of Warcraft's Feathermoon server, managed to top out their stats at level 85 with only one quest AND NOT A SINGLE KILL. WoW. Get it?! Me neither, I think I took triple my meds this morning! All the player did do to r... / Continue →
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The Chevy Volt, which was originally conceptualized to look like this, but ended up looking like something your aunt would drive, has officially sold over 1,000 models, and is now starting to receive some impressive feedback from consumers, including an average of over 1,000-mi... / Continue →
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Picture unrelated related enough. If all goes according to plan, Brazilian police forces will be equipped with 'Robocop' sunglasses before the next World Cup (see what I did there?), capable of scanning and detecting the faces of known trouble-makers/terrorists and alerting of... / Continue →
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IGN is running a voting contest until the 20th to decide the 100 best Pokemon characters. And I assume by "best" they mean "favorite", because this thing looks like a high school popularity contest if I've ever seen one. And if there's one thing I know about high school popul... / Continue →
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So I've got three Gunbrella umbrellas to give away. Leave a comment in the comments and you're entered to win. One comment per valid email address or I'll track you down and beat you up in front of your family and anybody else who wants to watch. If there's a significant amo... / Continue →
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Note: This isn't anywhere near the whole thing, click HERE to see it all AND GET READY TO GEIGERCOUNT. I saw some other comprehensive guide to radiation dosage floating around the interwebs a few weeks ago but I never got around to posting it, so here's a different one. Hold ... / Continue →
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Remember learning the ABC's? Me neither -- what are we, six? "I'm seven." What the -- how did you even find Geekologie? "Searching for dinosaurs." YOU GO BACK TO DISNEY.COM AND YOU STAY THERE. Artist Lishoffs (aka Fabian Gzlez), best known for his charts of minimalist sup... / Continue →
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SAT 119 Fire Extinguishers may look like purple drank, but they're actually throwable containers filled with fire-fighting chemicals (or microscopic water-wizards). No word if they're drinkable too, but if they're anything like antifreeze, only in moderation. You huck it at a... / Continue →
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Seen here being investigated by a group of parent-hating teens, DON-8r is a little donation-soliciting robot that looks like something I'd want to see how far I could kick. Basically he just sits around yelling in this grating robotic voice of his until you insert some change ... / Continue →
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Note: Full-res version HERE for a little more clarity. And speaking of clarity -- I had a moment of one in the hospital yesterday watching Maury. THAT BITCH WAS LYIN'! I'm not even sure WTF I'm looking at but if I had to guess it's...my wiener wrapped in a roll of gauze to l... / Continue →
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Mike Koehler of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, has made it his life's dream (having already gotten the 'married with three children' part of the dream out of the way) to build a full-size and fully functional (ha -- good luck with the MS-1 fire-linked heavy laser cannons!) Imperial A... / Continue →
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Geekologie Reader (and local news employee) Alex attended Fayetteville, Arkansas's 3rd annual 'Bacon Day', where Nick Hamon (who may or may yes be the lovechild of the Earl of Ham and Lady Bacon) failed to top his BA-K-47 and bacon AT-AT from previous years with this half-assed... / Continue →
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That's me! Aaaaaaand I'm back. All signs point to yesterday's surgery being a success, and I've since returned home higher than a drug mule that just had a narcotic-packed balloon pop in his @$$hole. I'll be downing these pain pills like Easter candy (which they might be) fo... / Continue →
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Some artists paint. Some artists sculpt. This guy carves really ripe bananas. Me? I knead titties like pizza dough. Now I know what you're thinking, "Wow, he truly is a modern Renaissance man!" And it's true, I am (plus ninja). I've also been known to doodle one hell of ... / Continue →
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Some wizard, having decided he's met the sorceress of his dreams (or whatever the hell wizards have at night -- crystal ball visions?), proposed with this Harry Potter book with a surprise cutout containing the engagement ring. No word if the ring has a spell of longevity and ... / Continue →
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This is a memo sent to the director of the FBI in 1950 describing the crash of three 'flying saucers' and the recovery of alien bodies from the New Mexico desert. OMG -- all those nutjobs weren't such nutjobs after all. Just kidding, I don't even trust the government to know ... / Continue →
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$36 bacon-scented cologne: because if there's one demographic I'd like to find me more appealing, it's the meat-loving obese. *spray spray* Oh, I can already tell I've piqued the interest of guy sitting next to me -- he's trying his best to nonchalantly lick my arm. Okay, no... / Continue →
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A mile? That's not even scraping the sky anymore -- that's an open-palm grope! Because building a tower taller your neighbor's is making a comeback in proving your superiority (God, whatever happened to a good ol' fashioned pissing contest?!), Saudi Arabia plans on building... / Continue →
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A recent test of the Navy's latest laser weapon system proved it could successfully set fire to a moving boat's engines in a real-life environment, effectively incapacitating the vessel and making boarding/plundering a breeze. *flipping down eyepatch* YAAAARR! "We were able t... / Continue →
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I trust her. Hey guys, by the time you read this I'll be mid-operation. Nothing serious, apparently they just have to perform really drastic wiener reductions in phases. Thankfully, I wrote a bunch of articles yesterday that should auto-populate the site while I'm out today.... / Continue →
