Mar 30 2011Wanted: Reliable Time Traveling Assistant
I've seen an Alabama Craigslist version of this ad floating around the past couple days that's word-for-word the exact same, but this one was posted a month ago (complete with convincing looking picture of LEGO Mindstorm time machine component), so it's obviously the real one (unless it's a word-for-word version of an even older ad -- or, OR -- people keep traveling further back in time to one-up each other. "Whoa -- too deep for me, GW!" Haha, so's the hot tub. Anyway, I don't know the circumference of my head in cm but I also don't know anybody that could watch dude's cat while we're gone so I guess I'm unqualified. Not that I actually wanted to go, I just have to know what "business" he needs to take care of in 1983. This is the kind of shit that keeps me up at night!
$12345 - Time Travel Research Assistant [usedregina] (that poor tart)
Thanks to Brad, sitting pretty (YOU'RE SQUATTING!) and tom, who applied but were all turned down for suggesting dude just fill up the food and water bowls really full so they wouldn't have to find a cat-sitter.
Reader Comments
1. J - March 30, 2011 5:50 PM
While your back there buy me about 20k worth of Apple shares will ya.
2. kitty - March 30, 2011 5:52 PM
dear gw,
i will like to go on a time machine adventure with you. lemme know!
kthx,
kitty
3. Rancid Dook - March 30, 2011 5:56 PM
dear kitty,
you are gross. do you like me? lemme know!
kthx,
rancid dook
4. Tennist0 - March 30, 2011 6:07 PM
Why is it necessary to have someone look after the cat? Can't he just wait till...today again and pick up where he left it? Or use his TARDIS to come back to this time anyways.
5. Lindsay - March 30, 2011 6:17 PM
Safety Not Guaranteed.
6. Rancid Dook - March 30, 2011 6:18 PM
@4 good point.
And why does he need an assistant? Couldn't he just go back one minute ago, shake hands with himself, and then go take care of his business with himself along for the ride?
7. dunch - March 30, 2011 6:32 PM
Older than GW is, probably. This is a repost of a repost, I originally saw a screencap of a word-for-word exact copy of this post (obv. the date was different) several years ago on 4chan.
8. Shelbon - March 30, 2011 6:43 PM
Well time travel involves the fourth dimension so if he travel back in time, he is essentially going to a new dimension and while he is there wouldn't he no longer exist in the current dimension? If this is true then I would think someone would need to take care of his cat. Just because he leaving doesn't mean stops in the dimesion his cat is in.
iunno, maybe I'm wrong
9. Silent Majority - March 30, 2011 6:47 PM
I don't get it. If he's coming back earlier than he left, why does he need someone to watch his cat? And if he's coming back early, seems like he can just be his own assistant. Sounds to me like he's just trying to unload his cat to some pinhead.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/02/27/funny-pictures-almost-cause-paradox/
GW must be on vacation. I don't see how the real one could do a time travel post without brining up dinosaurs.
PS: The circumference of my head is a stately 53.4 cm.
10. Rancid Dook - March 30, 2011 6:48 PM
So really when we say 4th dimension we mean an infinite number of dimensions where all possiblities and combinations of anything and everything exists?
Why the hell would you ever want to return to the original?
11. Silent Majority - March 30, 2011 6:57 PM
@10, because you're here.
12. J - March 30, 2011 6:58 PM
Whats worse? Firstards, spam chinese sales pitches, Rancid Dooks comments or the people who insist on telling everyone how old GWs posts are or that they saw it on some other blog site ages ago. W@nkers.
13. Rancid Dook - March 30, 2011 6:59 PM
@11 Awww thank you everyone!
14. j - March 30, 2011 7:01 PM
bring you own weapons
15. Rancid Dook - March 30, 2011 7:05 PM
Ok seriously, what about me pisses everyone off so much? My comments are no different then the majority here. Hell, I even make an effort sometimes to raise some discussion. Which is a lot more than I can say for a lot of you.
So tell me please. What is it? I don't do the mow mow thing anymore. I never ever ever ever spaz out like a Firsttard. But still I get singled out. My name? Should I change it? Do you all just get disgusted at the thought of a steamy, paint-peeling, rancid, turd? What is it exactly?
16. Rancid Dook - March 30, 2011 7:29 PM
MOW MOW
Ok now you've done it...ahem!
~"Do you believeeee in life after love!? (after love, after love, after love..) Do you believeeee in life after love!? (after love, after love, after love...)"~
Hope that shit is stuck in your head now.
MOW MOW
17. Ed - March 30, 2011 7:52 PM
If he really had a time machine he would be the most hunted man in the world.
18. Celine Dion - March 30, 2011 8:04 PM
I DID NOT give you permission to do that.
19. mike - March 30, 2011 8:44 PM
why go back in time when you could move forward a few days or week and check out what's the winning numbers then get back to present and bet on it. you could soon be the richest man in the world. well, may be top 500 richest man - that will do too.
20. Nicolai - March 30, 2011 10:34 PM
@6 - but if he went back a minute to meet himself, before he could do that another version of himself would appear 1 minute before he left.
Which would mean he never actually left to go back and meet himself. In which case he wouldnt appear 1 minute before he left. ...........and so he would then have to leave to go back one minute to meet himself...... But then he would appear 1 minute before he left and so he wouldnt actually leave..........
21. Ja - March 30, 2011 11:49 PM
Crazy to see something on here from where I live!! Saskatchewan all the way.
22. NaKAhi70 - March 31, 2011 1:48 AM
I won't go, but I'll look after the guy's cat. If you guy's dont mind??
23. DaliDame - March 31, 2011 9:53 AM
Strap a laser to the cat, teach it Spanish, and Kung-foo, and take the damn thing with you.
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25. dwkd - March 31, 2011 10:52 AM
time travel itinerary:
- go back 1 minute
- find yourself
- take yourself with you
- go back another minute
- repeat process untill massive army has been amassed
- rule earth
dwkd,
Time Traveler Consultant
26. the_tof - March 31, 2011 11:18 AM
Ok first of all, the lego mindstorms proves he's from the future. In the future Taco Bell is the only survivor of the franchise wars, and lego is the leading company in technology, which includes electronics, robotics, pharmaceuticals, and construction.
Second of all, he's obviously going back to kill his father before he was born. Or he likes taking care of his business in 1983 because that was right before they discontinued the short lived experimental TP, nu-charmin.
27. fgsg - April 1, 2011 6:00 AM
http://www.taobao.com/go/act/sale/yurenjie0401.php
28. purplejim8 - April 6, 2011 9:59 AM
"I have done this only once before"